Marriage convalidation and other questions--warning: long!

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lostgirl

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5 years ago, my DH & I were married in a civil wedding ceremony. My DH is Catholic and I am not (non-Catholic, non-Christian, not a follower of any faith really). We also have two children–DS who is 3 1/2 years old and DD, 20 months.

I recently discovered that because we were married in a civil ceremony (defect of form?) and we didn’t get a dispensation, my husband has committed/is committing a grave sin. As such, he is unable to receive the Eucharist and I know that it is really weighing heavily on him.

We got engaged and I was planning the wedding, I got caught up with the cake and the dress and the favors and all that superficial stuff that doesn’t even matter. I was a selfish, stubborn, “my way or the highway” kind of girl and because I couldn’t fit the pre-cana classes in my schedule and I was unwilling to go the Engaged Encounter, I opted to have a civil ceremony and my DH went along with it. Five years ago, I might add that I was very anti-organized religion. Maybe I could have been considered an agnostic.

But I am not the same person I was back then. I want to help my husband get back into good graces with the Catholic Church and with God. In my own readings of the bible, various books on theology and religion, and Catholicism, I understand that God exists and I want to make things right.

So my question is…what steps do I need to take to get on the right path, for my DH, myself and my children? If you have any suggestions, comments, criticism even, please post. I need all the help I can get.

Thank you for listening to me.:confused:
 
Sweetie, you need to call your local parish and ask for an appointment with a priest. He is the best one to help you, as your husband and you can explain things you certainly wouldn’t want to mention in an Internet forum.

You sound like a nice person.
 
I second the above post. The only one who can help you is a priest. Call your local parish and the priest can help you and your husband can continue to go to Communion.

It’s great you’re wanting to do this for your husband.
 
It is wonderful that you are trying to help your husband resolve the situation. Like the other posters said just make an appointment to talk to the priest, then simply say “we need our marriage convaildated,” and he will take it from there.
 
You sound like a very decent and great Wife. God Bless you for wanting to help bring your husband back into the church.

Praying for you both!
 
I am sure you all are right–the only way to get the ball rolling in our situation is to make an appointment with a priest.

Thank you for posting…you are all very helpful and I enjoy lurking on this board. So many interesting questions and lots of wise Catholics out there!
 
Dear lostgirl,

It sounds like you are not as lost as you once thought.
Life is a journey and you are marching forward! Look where you have been and where you are now!!! That’s extraordinary! Faith is a gift and it is given freely to you from God.
If you’ve read enough scripture, you’ll hopefully realize that the bond between husband and wife is an awesome one. That’s why the relationship of Christ and His Church have been compared to that of a husband and wife. Just think about this. Your love for your husband is so great that you want him to be “right” with the Church. You certainly have grown as a wife and mother. God is working in you. He is the potter and you are His clay.
Just as the other good people have said, go see a priest. Don’t stop until you’ve found one that will listen to your story.
This is what life is all about…searching for God, seeking His will and doing the best you can for your family and loved ones.
God’s Peace & blessings be with you and your loved ones.
😉 🙂
 
Good luck to you and your husband on your convalidation. There were two couples in my RCIA class that had civil ceremonies before but had not married in the Church. On Easter vigil when we all confirmed after baptism and confirmation (one spouse of one couple needed baptism, confirmation, and communion, one spouse of the other couple needed only confirmation and communion) both couples got up and did their sacrament at the Mass before their first eucharist. It was very cool and I admit I cried and was very happy to have been a part of that journey. One of the couples even had children that were baptized at the same mass. If you are really looking at the teachings maybe RCIA would also be a good option for you so that you could fully enjoy all the Church has to offer such as Eucharist. Your husband could even sponsor you. My fiance sponsored me and it brought us even closer as couple. Feel free to PM me if you need but please also talk to a priest.

God bless,
 
As everyone else said, talk to the priest. But I want to add that if neither of you has a prior marriage, the process should be pretty straight-forward.
 
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