Marriage convalidation

[OutinChgoburbs]

So what you want to do is renew your vows, a rite that’s included in the Marriage Rite in Canada. If you go see your priest and explain that you’re celebrating your 10th anniversary and would like to renew your vows at Mass I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to accommodate you.

Yay!!! So now we can see photos of cute little Lily all dressed up again!!!

 

[Phemie]

1.) There is a civil date.

2.) I would highly recommend the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was for anybody who feels this way about themselves. I am so tired of hearing this one. While convalidation does not necessarily mean there was a decree of nullity, the explanation of putative marriage is excellent, as is the explanation of legitimacy.

3.) What Catholic laypeople erroneously feel or express does not make it so.

4.) How her daughter feels about the whole business does not mean they should not get their marriage convalidated. A 9 year old does not get to call the shots here. To possibly spare the child’s feelings, she shouldn’t get her marriage convalidated and deny herself either conjugal rights or the Eucharist? That’s what it sounds as if you are suggesting to her.

While the Church says the children of parents who aren’t validly married in the Church are illegitimate, it also says that they become legitimate the minute the marriage becomes valid. My understanding of this canon is that its application is limited to those cases where the Church is the only ‘legal’ entity to determine inheritance or succession.

 

[masuwerte]

How her daughter feels about the whole business does not mean they should not get their marriage convalidated. A 9 year old does not get to call the shots here. To possibly spare the child’s feelings, she shouldn’t get her marriage convalidated and deny herself either conjugal rights or the Eucharist? That’s what it sounds as if you are suggesting to her.

I didn’t say that, Chi. I merely meant to suggest that she consider how she will present this to her daughter, because it will come up at some point.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I didn’t say that, Chi. I merely meant to suggest that she consider how she will present this to her daughter, because it will come up at some point.

Maybe it won’t come up. I never brought it up to my parents, and they were married a full five years before they had their marriage convalidated, nor did any of my sibs bring it up. No extended family member ever brought it up, and nobody outside the family brought it up of which I know. I can’t think of why anybody would be so crass as to do so.

If you live someplace other than the US as Phemie suggested, where the Church is the only marrying entity in the country, it might be a different matter. But here- never seen it happen. Most parish personnel have enough common sense and charity not to do such a thing. I’m sorry it was different for you.

 

[DiannaK]

My husband and I are both in RCIA and will be having our
marriage convalidated in February (our 23rd wedding anniversary).
I understand convalidation is to have your marriage blessed by
the church. We were told we could have this ceremony in the church
or in the father’s office and have it be simple or elaborate.
We definately know we want it to be in the church in front of the
blessed sacrament.

I would like to know how others have celebrated their convalidation.
All ideas, suggestions are appreciated. Thank you!

We JUST had our marriage validated on Oct 11th … we just invited our families, and closest friends (about 40 people!)
It was such a wonderful ceremony, and it really touched my heart. It means SO much more to me, than the JOP ceremony. I was thrilled to celebrate my vows in front of God, our priest, and families.

Go talk to your priest!!

 

[Phemie]

My husband and I are both in RCIA and will be having our
marriage convalidated in February (our 23rd wedding anniversary).
I understand convalidation is to have your marriage blessed by
the church. We were told we could have this ceremony in the church
or in the father’s office and have it be simple or elaborate.
We definately know we want it to be in the church in front of the
blessed sacrament.

I would like to know how others have celebrated their convalidation.
All ideas, suggestions are appreciated. Thank you!

I’m a little confused. Is one of you Catholic? If so, why aren’t you having a convalidation right away? If not, why are you having a convalidation at all?

 

[GailMac]

I’m confused.

This has been stated in this thread: “Convalidation is the name of the ceremony whereby a civil marriage between two Roman Catholics can be validated in the eyes of the Church”

There is no Sacrament where there has been no priest.

Peace,

Gail

 

[Phemie]

I’m confused.

This has been stated in this thread: “Convalidation is the name of the ceremony whereby a civil marriage between two Roman Catholics can be validated in the eyes of the Church”

Convalidation is the name of the ceremony whereby a Roman Catholic (or two), who were married outside the Church, marry for the first time in the eyes of the Church.

There is no Sacrament where there has been no priest.

And if one of the couple is not baptized there will still be no sacrament, priest or no priest.

Peace,

Gail

 

[puzzleannie]

While the Church says the children of parents who aren’t validly married in the Church are illegitimate, it also says that they become legitimate the minute the marriage becomes valid. My understanding of this canon is that its application is limited to those cases where the Church is the only ‘legal’ entity to determine inheritance or succession.

the church does not say this at all
please don’t confuse the issue
ooops just realized this is an old thread that has resurrected, sorry

 

[Phemie]

the church does not say this at all
please don’t confuse the issue
ooops just realized this is an old thread that has resurrected, sorry

I’m sorry, but it does say that. The canons defining legitimacy are quite specific:

Can. 1137 The children conceived or born of a valid or putative marriage are legitimate. (Not what we are discussing here.)

Can. 1138 §1. The father is he whom a lawful marriage indicates unless clear evidence proves the contrary.

§2. Children born at least 180 days after the day when the marriage was celebrated or within 300 days from the day of the dissolution of conjugal life are presumed to be legitimate.

Can. 1139 Illegitimate children are legitimated by the subsequent valid or putative marriage of their parents or by a rescript of the Holy See.

We are not discussing a valid or putative marriage here, but an invalid marriage, one where the couple sought a convalidation.

 

[lizaanne]

Um folks? The OP is four years old. I doubt you are going to get much a response from someone who has not posted in four years.

The hazard of resurrecting ancient threads instead of just starting new ones.

~Liza

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I wish they would shut these down and arcive them after a certain time…

 

[Wayfarer]

Our pastor gave us a choice of venues. While he preferred a ceremony at the end of a weekend Mass with the whole assembly helping to celebrate, we chose a private ceremony in front of the tabernacle with about 25 of our friends attending. It took place on our 12th wedding anniversary. We had a lunch at our local Pizza joint.
My wife was not yet Catholic, but at long last I could partake of our Lord’s body and blood in the Eucharist. My joy, after being away from the Eucharist for 28 years was indescribable.
Three weeks later, my wife came into the Church without any prompting from me. It was not the usual Easter-time confirmation after an RCIA process. The pastor knew that she knew more about the Catholic faith than most cradle Catholics do. It was a very beautiful liturgy worked into a weekend Mass – the feast of Mary’s nativity. Three years later she finished working on a master’s degree in Theology from IPT and now is the RCIA Director for our parish. I studied 2 1/2 years at our Diocesan Lay Formation Institue and became commissioned as a lay leader of prayer. I teach religious ed (CCD) from time to time, serve on the parish Finance Council, and function as the parish treasurer. Became a Knight of Columbus serving as Grand Knight for three years. All these opportunities were gifts from the Creator of all good.
I am convinced that the graces we received in our convalidation service were responsible for obtaining the privilege of serving others. May God grant you and your whole family abundant graces.

 

[Wayfarer]

Um folks? The OP is four years old. I doubt you are going to get much a response from someone who has not posted in four years.

The hazard of resurrecting ancient threads instead of just starting new ones.

~Liza

How stupid of me not to notice the date!

 

[moonletters]

While the Church says the children of parents who aren’t validly married in the Church are illegitimate, it also says that they become legitimate the minute the marriage becomes valid. My understanding of this canon is that its application is limited to those cases where the Church is the only ‘legal’ entity to determine inheritance or succession.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

For the past twenty years I and my parents have thought that I was an illegitimate child. My parents had their marriage convalidated before I turned ten, but my father has always pressured me into the church more that my sister because I was “illegitimate.” My mother never brought it up, only my father (they later divorced). I did talk to my mother about it when I was thirteen and she finally answered my questions about their marriage because she felt I was old enough.

 

[indian_angel]

i had a civil marriage due to immmigration issues but plan to have a catholic wedding asap…both me and husband are born and raised catholic…could someone tell me the details of marriage convalidation…this is first time for both of us …so we want to have a regular wedding ceremony like any other catholic wedding ceremony…bridesmaid , flower girls and all
WOULD THERE BE HOLY COMMUNION ,MASS with first and second readings, SERMON ,WEDDING WOWS AND RINGS BLESSED ? would it be possible to have a regular catholic wedding nuptial mass and all the rituals in a convalidation without the priest announcing it to be a convalidation in the sermon…

 

[phil19034]

i had a civil marriage due to immmigration issues but plan to have a catholic wedding asap…both me and husband are born and raised catholic…could someone tell me the details of marriage convalidation…this is first time for both of us …so we want to have a regular wedding ceremony like any other catholic wedding ceremony…bridesmaid , flower girls and all
WOULD THERE BE HOLY COMMUNION ,MASS with first and second readings, SERMON ,WEDDING WOWS AND RINGS BLESSED ? would it be possible to have a regular catholic wedding nuptial mass and all the rituals in a convalidation without the priest announcing it to be a con-validation in the sermon…

NOTE: This thread was last edited in 2008, but I will answer your question.

Yes. All in all the wedding can look and feel like you never had the civil marriage. I think part of the reason for distinction is so people don’t think that they have to pay for a fancy, big wedding to have a convalidation. You just need the priest and two witnesses. These convalidations are typically free. But if you want to make it a private, typical wedding Mass, that cool too; you will simply be subject to the parish’s normal wedding fees.

God Bless.

 

[indian_angel]

thank you phil1934…