marriage issue...

  • Thread starter Thread starter mayday26
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

mayday26

Guest
I am a Catholic currently in a relationship with a Methodist. He does not believe in the Catholic religion like I do but also does not neccessarily disagree with it. He just doesn’t know much about it. My question is, if we were to get married and he did not want to convert, how does this work? I don’t want to convert because I want to be able to go to church with my family, take communion and kneel with them. What do I do?
 
I generally don’t encourage relationships that cross the religion line for people whose faith is important to them. For me, if you have to “ask” if it will be okay, it probably won’t be.

That said, mutual respect is key. Can you respect the Methodist point of view? Does he respect all things Catholic even if he doesn’t believe them? Most importantly, is he willing to help you raise the children Catholic? That last one is the only requirement the church sets forth.
 
I’m married to a nonpracticing Methodist. I love my husband, but it makes living a Catholic life much more difficult when the burden is all on me. My dh is supportive of my practice and education of the children in the faith, but non participative.

Make sure your potential spouse is in line with Catholic sexual morality!! This will be a big area of conflict if you are in disagreement. I cannot emphasize this enough.

Despite my deep love for my wonderful husband, I would advise my children not to date non-Catholics. In fact, I’ve all ready begun discussing it with them (the preteens). I see what gift my friends have in their Catholic marriages and I want that for my children. It is a great sadness to me to not have a Catholic spouse. Or rather, that my spouse is not Catholic. Even if he went to Mass consistently with us, that would be a gift. Also, you see how my children are handicapped with only one practicing Catholic. They also have the example of their dad’s indifference.

Remember, you pray and ponder to discern your spouse, just as you would a religious vocation. Good luck
 
I would concur with the other posters. However, I would also add that the Methodist Church is much closer to the Catholic Church than most Methodists realize. If you are going to consider getting married to a protestant a Methodist is not a bad choice. It was actually becoming a Methodist and studying their doctrine that helped me to become Catholic. I was raised Baptist. Keeping in mind that in my experience most Methodists do not know the doctrines of the Methodist Church. Overall it is something that you need to sort out before marriage. My former spouse was very anti-Catholic and this delayed my move to the Catholic Church for many years (until after I was divorced) just to keep the peace at home. It is difficult when you feel the need to make a choice between God and your spouse. In our human weakness, we will often choose our spouse over God. My prayers are with you.
 
At some point, probably sooner than later, get him to go through the RICA course with you. The course is good as a refresher for cradle Catholics and well as an a primer in the Catholic religion for non-Catholics. It’s amazing how many non-Catholics admit that they really agree with the Catholic church and had no idea what it was really about.

Although, I’ve never been married, I can easily image that a mixed marriage would be very difficult.

BTW, we don’t have three heads and forked tails. 😃
 
I too married a Methodist. We discussed in detail prior to getting married that our children would be raised Catholic. In addition, I agreed to attend (not participate) in the Methodist service with her on Sunday’s and I would attend Mass as well. I left the decision to her whether she chose to attend (not participate) in the Mass. This continued approximately two (2) years after wwe were married and had one (1) child. Through her wisdom and guided by the Holy Spirit, she realized that God was first in my life and she began to realize that the Catrholic Church was the driving force behind this. On her own, she began to reaserch the Catholic Church, attended inquiry through RCIA and joined the Church. That was six (6) years ago and we enjoy a wonderful, spiritual marriage.

You will be just fine and I wish you the best!
 
40.png
Arbie:
I too married a Methodist. We discussed in detail prior to getting married that our children would be raised Catholic. In addition, I agreed to attend (not participate) in the Methodist service with her on Sunday’s and I would attend Mass as well. I left the decision to her whether she chose to attend (not participate) in the Mass. This continued approximately two (2) years after wwe were married and had one (1) child. Through her wisdom and guided by the Holy Spirit, she realized that God was first in my life and she began to realize that the Catrholic Church was the driving force behind this. On her own, she began to reaserch the Catholic Church, attended inquiry through RCIA and joined the Church. That was six (6) years ago and we enjoy a wonderful, spiritual marriage.

You will be just fine and I wish you the best!
I see your situation in my RCIA class in several couples. One couple has four young daughters, another couple has three elementary-age daughters, and a third couple has two older daughters.

I don’t think it’s so much the religion of the person you start dating, but the person themselves. It’s important for your significant other to be open to a new religion and the same for you. A lot of non-Catholics who spend time in RCIA classes are amazed at how many non-Catholics find they like the Catholic church.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top