Marriage outside the Church

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I have a Catholic friend who will be marrying a non-Catholic in July. The non-Catholic’s family is demanding a wedding not in a Catholic church. They are anti-Catholic (duh!). My friend has agreed to a wedding in some garden somewhere. His priest told him he could not be married in the Catholic Church since he was marrying somwhere else as well. Not even before the other wedding. So my question is, do I take my family to the wedding even though my friend is getting himself in trouble with all this?
 
No. I wouldn’t. Attending the wedding is implying consent and approval, which you cannot do in good faith.

Does he realize that he cannot receive the sacraments if he marries outside the Church?
 
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jeffreyd:
I have a Catholic friend who will be marrying a non-Catholic in July. The non-Catholic’s family is demanding a wedding not in a Catholic church. They are anti-Catholic (duh!). My friend has agreed to a wedding in some garden somewhere. His priest told him he could not be married in the Catholic Church since he was marrying somwhere else as well. Not even before the other wedding. So my question is, do I take my family to the wedding even though my friend is getting himself in trouble with all this?
Nope I wouldn’t. I think he’s getting into something he’s going to wish he hadn’t…if they are already starting out saying they can’t get married in a Catholic Church.

Seems your friend is compromising his faith here…I wouldn’t be a part of that.

SV
 
Doesn’t sound too wise to attend…

Send a card and pray for them…
 
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jeffreyd:
I have a Catholic friend who will be marrying a non-Catholic in July. The non-Catholic’s family is demanding a wedding not in a Catholic church. They are anti-Catholic (duh!). My friend has agreed to a wedding in some garden somewhere. His priest told him he could not be married in the Catholic Church since he was marrying somwhere else as well. Not even before the other wedding. So my question is, do I take my family to the wedding even though my friend is getting himself in trouble with all this?
While I agree that you should not attend this wedding since he is acting against the advice of his priest, you might suggest that he discuss the possibility of convalidation with his priest. If that is not available to him, you should definitely urge him to apply to his bishop for a dispensation from the canonical norm of marriage; otherwise he will not be permitted to receive the Sacraments when he gets married.
 
Okay, so far all of you have advised me not to go to the wedding. My first inclination as well. However, if my friend sees this as a slight, even if I explain to him my reasons for not attending, it will be harder for him to accept any approaches from me in the future regarding sharing the Truth with his wife. In other words, he says, “Oh, you won’t even come to my wedding. Why should I now listen to anything you have to say?”

I’m afraid taking this stand will allow him to venture further from the faith.
 
Before you make a decision, I advise you to speak to a priest.
 
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jeffreyd:
Okay, so far all of you have advised me not to go to the wedding. My first inclination as well. However, if my friend sees this as a slight, even if I explain to him my reasons for not attending, it will be harder for him to accept any approaches from me in the future regarding sharing the Truth with his wife. In other words, he says, “Oh, you won’t even come to my wedding. Why should I now listen to anything you have to say?”

I’m afraid taking this stand will allow him to venture further from the faith.
This is, of course, a possibility. However, if he would abandon the faith because of unappreciated actions of a friend then to what extent is he showing his adherence to the faith to begin with? I’m not trying to be harsh; just realistic. I think that your discussions about the reasons he should not pursue a wedding outside of the Church (unless he gets the proper dispensation from the bishop) should be done before you give any indication that you won’t attend if he makes this break. You should have these discussions in a way that shows you are concerned about him. He needs to understand the fact that he will be severing himself from the Sacraments by going through with this.
 
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