Marriage Prep Inventory- what to expect?

[AllEars]

Hi all!

DH (married civilly) and I will be meeting with our marriage prep coordinator to complete the marriage prep inventory this week, and I’m wondering what we should expect, more or less? Our coordinator said we’d be separated and asked questions. Would anyone who has gone through this be willing to give me an idea regarding what types of questions they will ask? We’ve gone through the immigration process together, so we’re no strangers to having to answer extremely personal, graphic questions, but we’d like to be mentally prepared in order to avoid any unnecessary “butterflies”

Thanks in advance. Wishing everyone a blessed Holy Week!

 

[1ke]

Well, in general, the premarital inventory is used to determine areas that a couple may need to discuss more in depth-- maybe it’s finances, or household expectations, or whatever.

The most common inventory used in marital prep is the FOCCUS inventory.

foccusinc.com/

But, it isn’t the only one so you would have to ask your parish what inventory they will be using.

 

[Lorelei12]

The one we had covered a lot of issues like finances, religion, living habits, future expectations, roles within marriage, families of origin, and so forth. I am not sure if there is one specifically for couples already civilly married or not, though.

Basically we sat in separate rooms and took about an hour to fill it out, and came back a few weeks later to talk about the results. We were assigned to a couple from the parish, which I admit bothered me. I would rather have discussed results with our priest. Though the questions aren’t really graphic, some of them are personal (especially a few about sex and families of origin) and, being a private person, I was not comfortable sharing so much information, and then having to talk about it with people we’d run into at church.

The results will highlight the areas of disagreement, but really don’t worry too much about it. It’s mostly to get you talking- you can’t “fail” it, and it’s not a test. I have other issues with the way the questions were worded and the way answers were scored, but my main concern was having to discuss the results with my then-fiance in front of this other couple. They were very nice, lovely people, but I thought some of the questions were too personal to have to explain to strangers. For instance- there were questions about our families that I thought were invasive, especially since my family attended that parish. I didn’t feel right talking about family issues with them, so I tried to say as little as I could. I’m not saying this because I think it’s anything you need to be nervous about- just so that you know what to expect. Overall I would say get out of it what you can, but don’t take it so seriously that you stress over it.

 

[irishcelt8]

If I remember correctly, the FOCCUS inventory will have some questions about your perspectives on a topic and then it will ask what you think your (future) spouse’s response would be to the same topic. When they discuss the results, they are not necessarily looking for couples to have the same exact answers. They are assessing whether you significant differences exist in the “big deal breakers” versus differences that may enrich the relationship. It is big on emphasizing communication and understanding each person’s values and life style choices.

God bless both of you!