Marriage Question

[lethalbean95]

Ok. So I’m Catholic, and I’m not the most “knowledgeable” in my faith. So I was wondering, what constitutes as a “valid” marriage. Do you have to be married inside of the Catholic Church? Basically I had found out that my Father (not a practicing catholic), had been in another marriage and divorced from his first wife. Then later he married my mother and had us. So I was also wondering, where does this leave my brothers, sister and I? Whats our “status”. Are we basically considered “bastards”? I’m won’t be offended if anyone says so. If its the truth then there is nothing I can basically do about it. Could you guys help me out?

 

[pensmama87]

Legitimacy is not a concern of the Church. Your status doesn’t change based on whether your parents are validly married or not.

Simply speaking, Catholics are supposed to be married in the Church, but some of the specific requirements can be dispensed depending on circumstances. People who aren’t Catholic aren’t bound by the same requirements, but to marry validly have to freely consent and understand the nature of the commitment.

If a person divorces and wishes to remarry validly, he or she can apply for an investigation into the first marriage. If the marriage is declared null (called an “annulment” sometimes) then that means there was some problem and the marriage wasn’t valid. It means nothing about the legitimacy of children. If your first marriage is declared null, you’re free to marry.

Basically, with the information you’ve presented it’s not easy to tell either way. You’d need more details. But I also think that it’s not really your business, and trying to get involved in the intimate affairs of your parents is probably not a good idea.

If they are ever interested to know, a phone call to set up an appointment with a priest would be the easiest way to get the ball rolling. But if not, then pray for your parents, especially if they aren’t really practicing.

 

[1ke]

Do you have to be married inside of the Catholic Church?

When two Catholics marry each other, then yes it must be in Catholic form (before a priest and two witnesses) and the typical place this is celebrated is in the parish church.

When a Catholic marries a non Catholic, the Catholic must either marry in Catholic form or receive a dispensation from the bishop to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony. It can be done fairly easily.

So I was also wondering, where does this leave my brothers, sister and I? Whats our “status”. Are we basically considered “bastards”?

There isn’t enough information regarding your parents marriage to comment on its validity or invalidity. And you should not make assumptions because you do not know the facts of their marriage nor any subsequent steps they may have taken privately to make it a valid marriage if it were not in the beginnning.

But regardless of whether your parents have a valid marriage or not, it has no bearing on you at all canonically. Whether or not you would be considered legitimate or illegitimate under canon law depends:

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P43.HTM

Civilly you are certainly legitimate children of the marriage.

In no case should you use the pejorative term “bastard” which the church DOES NOT use.

Could you guys help me out?

It is not something you need trouble yourself with at all. If your mother is practicing or wants to practice the faith she should talk to her pastor about her situation. If you have not been invited into a conversation about this by your parents, this is not your business.

Canon law doesn’t currently have anything in it that would distinguish legitimate from what was called “defect of birth”. In days past it created an impediment to holy orders requiring a dispensation and this was mainly put in place due to priests and bishops having illegitimate children and then seeking to advance them within the church ecclesial ranks.

 

[1ke]

Legitimacy is not a concern of the Church. Your status doesn’t change based on whether your parents are validly married or not.

Well, yes and no. Canon law certainly does speak to it, and if there were canons restricting the rights of those born out of wedlock or outside at least a putative marriage then it certainly could impact one’s status. It’s not really accurate to say legitimacy is not a concern of the Church.

It’s more accurate to say that the Church does define legitimacy of offspring within its canons on the effects of marriage but it currently does not restrict the rights of those who do not meet the definition of legitimate. It has in the past, and it could in the future. But currently it does not.

 

[pensmama87]

Well, yes and no. Canon law certainly does speak to it, and if there were canons restricting the rights of those born out of wedlock or outside at least a putative marriage then it certainly could impact one’s status. It’s not really accurate to say legitimacy is not a concern of the Church.

It’s more accurate to say that the Church does define legitimacy of offspring within its canons on the effects of marriage but it currently does not restrict the rights of those who do not meet the definition of legitimate. It has in the past, and it could in the future. But currently it does not.

Thanks for the clarification.

 

[angell1]

When two Catholics marry each other, then yes it must be in Catholic form (before a priest and two witnesses) and the typical place this is celebrated is in the parish church.

When a Catholic marries a non Catholic, the Catholic must either marry in Catholic form or receive a dispensation from the bishop to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony. It can be done fairly easily.

There isn’t enough information regarding your parents marriage to comment on its validity or invalidity. And you should not make assumptions because you do not know the facts of their marriage nor any subsequent steps they may have taken privately to make it a valid marriage if it were not in the beginnning.

But regardless of whether your parents have a valid marriage or not, it has no bearing on you at all canonically. Whether or not you would be considered legitimate or illegitimate under canon law depends:

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P43.HTM

Civilly you are certainly legitimate children of the marriage.

In no case should you use the pejorative term “bastard” which the church DOES NOT use.

It is not something you need trouble yourself with at all. If your mother is practicing or wants to practice the faith she should talk to her pastor about her situation. If you have not been invited into a conversation about this by your parents, this is not your business.

Canon law doesn’t currently have anything in it that would distinguish legitimate from what was called “defect of birth”. In days past it created an impediment to holy orders requiring a dispensation and this was mainly put in place due to priests and bishops having illegitimate children and then seeking to advance them within the church ecclesial ranks.

ok, that makes sense now.

I never really understood why children that were deemed illegitimate couldn’t receive holy orders in the past. that explains it