I recently got engaged to a non-Catholic who is also not baptized.
I talked to the priest, got the paperwork and my fiance says he is willing to take the prework classes for a Catholic wedding. The fact he is willing to go to classes is very encouraging to me however he is apprehensive to have he will have to “agree” to do. As you know finding accurate information on the internet is difficult is someone could please answer the following:
Since he is not baptized will the sacrament of marriage be possible for me?
What, if any, “promises” does he have to make to marry me? (ie children to be raised Catholic etc)
He has expressed concerns that he will be encouraged to become a Catholic. Is there truth in that statement?
I find it really difficult to answer his questions because I’ve only started intensely researching marriage as a sacrament and I’ve never been another Christian faith so other viewpoints are foreign to me. I find there is a TON of misconceptions about Catholic faith that I cannot begin to sort through it all.
Since your husband-to-be is not baptized, your marriage will be valid but not sacramental. You will still be married but it will not be a Sacrament as Sacraments can only be conferred on those who are baptized. If your husband decided to be baptized at a later date, your marriage would then become sacramental.
Before you can get the dispensation to marry a non-Catholic, you must make a signed promise to do all that is in your power to raise the children as Catholics. He would not have to sign anything. However, you can see where this would be very difficult to do if he is uncooperative. I would strongly discourage a Catholic friend from marrying someone who was opposed to raising the children Catholic. I would also point out that in your marriage vows you promise to be open to God’s blessing of children and raise them up in Christ’s Church.
Will he be pressured to become Catholic? No, but I hope your priest or deacon who is doing your pre-marriage counseling encourages him to learn more about the Catholic Church. If your faith is important to you, why wouldn’t he want to learn more about it?
On a personal level, I hope that you talked about the role of faith in your marriage before you got engaged. It is so important to get these things worked out before any of the wedding planning starts, especially when you are marrying a non-Catholic. You mentioned that he’s apprehensive about having to make promises to the Church - is this because he just doesn’t know what will be required, or is he particularly suspicious towards the Catholic Church? Important distinction there.
Interfaith marriages CAN work (although be warned that many, many people on these boards will disagree with me) but you have to get all the issues out in the open before you take that walk down the aisle. Perhaps it will be an impetus for you to learn more about your own faith. Pray, pray, and pray some more.
Hi 4949 I would also encourage you to talk a lot with him. I married a non C and did not stick up for my faith as I didn’t know either but did not look into. Eventually we had to come to terms even many years down the road. So doing it now is important. There are many mixed marriages that work out. If he comes to Church with you, that is a big step. What does he feel about baptizing the children in the Catholic Church? What are the in-laws like? I think there are classes out there for people to see how they would be compatable. Do you love him? and he you? Enough for a commitment for many years? These are questions I wish I had thought of when I got married but we still discuss a lot even now. God Bless
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for your response, I’m researching and praying about it. 