Marriage to Non-Baptized Christian w/ child

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I’m engaged to a non-baptized Christian who also has a child - outside of marriage - from a previous relationship. I am Catholic and neither of us have been married before. Anyone know what obstacles we may face trying to marry in the Catholic Church? She has already promised to raise our future children as Catholics and to seriously explore converting to Catholicism. Any help or advice is appreciated. Thanks!
 
Talk to your priest. You’ll need to receive a dispensation to marry an unbaptized person.
 
From the Catechism:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult
1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.
[1634](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/1634.htm’)😉 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.
1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139
[1636](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/1636.htm’)😉 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them. 1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
 
Just nit-picking on terminology. What defines a Christian? Is one a Christian before one is baptized?
 
True. The family did attend Christian services sporadically over the years but never was baptized into any particular denomination. She is a Christian though in the sense that she believes that Christ is her savior, but in terms of baptism, I guess she’s technically not one yet.
 
Marriage is not easy, and being married to a non-Catholic does present some challenges. The fact that neither of you have been married before puts you at an advantage. Most couples have divorce or annulment issues to deal with.

Dispensation is done two ways: a ceremony in the Church or by paper with the diocese approval. I would recommend the ceremony in the Church. It can be a small, simple ceremony involving the both of you, the priest, and two witnesses.

I’ve been dealing with the issue myself, and have been talking with my parish priest about it.
 
I do know, that when seeking a dispensation she will have to sign at least one document stating that she is not baptized. No one ever likes to hear this, but I would suggest that you proceed with a very open mind and honest heart when going through pre-Cana and get involved in as many pre-Cana programs as the diocese and Catholic Church offers in your area. If there are disagreements in big areas (even if the disagreements seem small at the time) you should really explore those areas and discern if marriage to each other is right.
 
sac7299 said:
I’m engaged to a non-baptized Christian who also has a child - outside of marriage - from a previous relationship.
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The previous relationship/out-of-wedlock child is not directly relevant to the requirements of marriage in the Catholic Church.

Just FYI, from the Church’s perspective a non-baptized person is not a Christian.

On a practical level, certainly step-parenting requires careful consideration and much discussion.
sac7299 said:
I am Catholic and neither of us have been married before. Anyone know what obstacles we may face trying to marry in the Catholic Church?
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You should speak to your priest. The requirements for marriage preparation vary from diocese to diocese, but typically require 6 months minimum. There will be meetings with the priest, paperwork regarding freedom to marry, and counseling with the preist.

There are no “obstacles” per se. You will need to complete paperwork for a disparity of cult marriage-- a marriage to a non-baptized person.
sac7299 said:
She has already promised to raise our future children as Catholics and to seriously explore converting to Catholicism. Any help or advice is appreciated. Thanks!
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That’s good to hear. A religiously divided household is a serious issue all of its own.
 
tinman said:
Dispensation is done two ways: a ceremony in the Church or by paper with the diocese approval. I would recommend the ceremony in the Church. It can be a small, simple ceremony involving the both of you, the priest, and two witnesses.
Click to expand...
I think you’re confusing terms. A dispensation is merely permission to marry, not the marriage ceremony itself.

This page give the policies for the Archdiocese of Chicago. I assume the procedure is similar in other dioceses.
 
I will give a little advice, from a dad who has a daughter that married a non-baptized christian (if there really is such a person) My understand is you are not christian until you have been baptized.

My advise to her was, let him go through RCIA then he will know what the Catholic Church is all about. If he elects to join the Church it will be better for you and any future family… If he elects to not join the Church, then at least he will have knowledge of what he is getting into with a Catholic wife.

She didn’t listen… Got dispensation, seemed to me like a quick rubber stamp affair. And, in less then a year she is filing for divorce…

He was raised Baptist. Baptist don’t believe in infant baptism, and as an adult he never received baptism in the Baptist Church… This set up a big red flag for Dad!!! Where is the commitment? What kind of commitment will he have towards my daughter?

Just for your information…
 
Like Will, I suggest asking him to enroll in at least the inquiry portion of RCIA. If he decides to join the church… surely you can postpone your wedding until after Easter?

Ruthie
 
Sac7299, I will agree with the advice given to you by Will and Ruthie. My dd’s dad (whom I hope to marry) was married to a woman who “promised to have children and raise them Catholic” when they decided to marry. Guess what? In their 9 years of marriage she only wanted to raise her cats and always put off having children (by using abc) because it was never the “right time”. She was also jealous of his family and the little time he wanted to spend with them. She too, was an unbaptized Christian. If this woman loves you, truly loves you, she will put her money where her mouth is before the "I Will"s are said and at least go through RCIA to even understand what she’s “promising” to you.
 
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