Marriage tune-up?

[MooCowSteph]

Well, DH and I have been married for almost 6 years (although more like 8 - we weren’t Catholic when we met and lived together for 2 years prior to marriage) and we could use a little tune-up. I looked into retreats, marriage encounters, etc., but it’s just not possible with a 16 month old. We couldn’t leave her for more than a few hours, and especially not overnight.

Any tips? We’re not in serious trouble, things are just a little stagnet. We need to grow in our faith and our relationship. Things are just a little too routine, I suppose. Thanks for any advice or tips.

Steph

 

[Em_in_FL]

What about renewing your vows?

One time my husband set up an entire renewal as a surprise for me… had both our families attend… and I thought we were just going out to dinner! It was really a neat way to rekindle our marriage (especially the surprise part… I love that kinda stuff!)…

Funny thing though… he told me to go get a new dress because he was taking me out for a nice dinner (which he did after the renewal of vows), but I was big and pregnant at the time and the only dress I could find was BLACK! LOL!

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

For one couple I know, a useful exercise was to read aloud together every evening. He chose a book (happened to be on relationships) and they took turns reading 1 chapter aloud every night and discussing what they had read. It’s a simple way to spend time together and encourage honest dialogue, though it wouldn’t work for everybody, I’m sure.

 

[Kanda]

For one couple I know, a useful exercise was to read aloud together every evening. He chose a book (happened to be on relationships) and they took turns reading 1 chapter aloud every night and discussing what they had read. It’s a simple way to spend time together and encourage honest dialogue, though it wouldn’t work for everybody, I’m sure.

Reading is my passion and the only thing dh reads is the sports page. One night I told him how much I enjoyed the Harry Potter books and read him an excerpt. Ended up reading him the entire book. Now we totally look forward to the last book coming out in July because it is something special we do together.

You can try to pick one night that will be a no TV night each week. Use the time for whatever, but you have to do it together - play a game, read a book, cuddle up in front of the fireplace, take silly pictures of eachother, etc. Just focus on the two of you. You can make it all night after baby goes to bed, or just set aside a few hours. It can be a fun, powerful way to reconnect.

I think the key, at least for us, is to make sure to have some time together without the kids. For us, that means after they go to bed.

 

[Teakafrog]

Schedule a date night. We did it once a month. Not now, we have a 3mo old . Leave the baby, dress up, have dinner at a nice restaurant, catch a movie or something, and talk. Use the time. It will be relaxing just being ‘out’, but make sure you really talk about whatever is going on in your lives too. It helps!

 

[MooCowSteph]

Thanks, there has been some good advice. I think we’re going to read Popcak’s marriage book together. It has exercises, too. I like the idea about setting aside one night each week.

 

[Kanda]

Also, my mom gave me some great advice. When you have your alone time together, make it a rule not to talk about work or the baby. You’ll probably spend some time in silence just staring at eachother at first and wonder what you used to talk about, but trust me, it is worth it. I’m sure you spend enough time talking about poopy diapers anyways!