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joyful
Guest
For all those who knew that you were called to marriage, instead of religious life, before meeting your current spouse, how did you know?
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
It’s pretty easy when you never feel any sort of a call to religious life that’s open to you, to know that you’re not intended for religious life.
That pretty much leaves being single and being married. I wish I could say I did some big discernment process about getting married but in truth I just figured I would end up married to the person I eventually got married to, and when I got sick of being single, we got married. I really didn’t think that hard about it because if I’d thought about it I would have thought myself right out of doing it.
That pretty much leaves being single and being married. I wish I could say I did some big discernment process about getting married but in truth I just figured I would end up married to the person I eventually got married to, and when I got sick of being single, we got married. I really didn’t think that hard about it because if I’d thought about it I would have thought myself right out of doing it.
Cloisters
Well-known member
I had lived most of my life with the intention of eventually becoming a religious. The draw always returned after break-ups. I had graduated college a couple of years when I began to have memories of childhood abuse (not my dad, but close enough for uncle). Then I came to church for evening Mass, and a soldier was praying. He was from a nearby town, then finding out that he lived a half-mile down the road from my aunt. He belonged to the Army Reserves, had come in straight from drill, and my SD was acquainted with him.
He was also a graduate student at the local university, and so was attending daily Mass on occasion. Short story made even shorter, I had the “you’re just too good to be true” experience in the parking lot as we were speaking with mutual friends, and the “soul tug”. While we were running around as a couple (I don’t use the word “dating” because of modern sexual connotations), he got called up for Gulf War I. We squeezed in under the four month marriage prep requirement and were married about six months after meeting.
My counselor said that whatever came out of our sessions would be whatever was best for me. I thought the perpetrator had ruined my ability to relate to men. After 27.5 years, hubby and I are still together, although overtime seems about to take him out.
People just need to concentrate on being friends with Jesus and Mary. Then they will let you know what they want of you. Sacraments, sacramentals, and adoration. Go to the inner room (the Eucharistic Throne Room) of the heart; close the door (leave worldly behavior behind); and speak to your Father in private. This is the cell/monastery/cloister/hermitage of the heart. Then dwell in the Sacred Heart as in a desert, as St. John of the Cross says.
Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
He was also a graduate student at the local university, and so was attending daily Mass on occasion. Short story made even shorter, I had the “you’re just too good to be true” experience in the parking lot as we were speaking with mutual friends, and the “soul tug”. While we were running around as a couple (I don’t use the word “dating” because of modern sexual connotations), he got called up for Gulf War I. We squeezed in under the four month marriage prep requirement and were married about six months after meeting.
My counselor said that whatever came out of our sessions would be whatever was best for me. I thought the perpetrator had ruined my ability to relate to men. After 27.5 years, hubby and I are still together, although overtime seems about to take him out.
People just need to concentrate on being friends with Jesus and Mary. Then they will let you know what they want of you. Sacraments, sacramentals, and adoration. Go to the inner room (the Eucharistic Throne Room) of the heart; close the door (leave worldly behavior behind); and speak to your Father in private. This is the cell/monastery/cloister/hermitage of the heart. Then dwell in the Sacred Heart as in a desert, as St. John of the Cross says.
Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
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pianistclare
Guest
We know because God puts all the pieces in place.
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dochawk
Guest
The other direction for me.
The first time I was getting ready to call about discernment, I met a gal I almost married, and the second time, I met my wife!
Now, had I learned about the East decades earlier, and somehow also anticipated the current pope’s adjustments (prior to which, baptized RC, eastern ordination would have been impossible) . . .
hawk
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Wife.of.Gabriel
Guest
A Deacon got a word from God and told me at a Healing Mass when I was in my mid-20s & about a decade later an Abbess told me the same word. Yet, I didn’t meet my husband until my early 40s, last year. It was hard to believe their inspired word to me mostly because it took so many long years being single. Now it all makes sense though, that decades long wait, it’s my husband was married for all of those years and we didn’t meet until after his former wife passed away. God’s timing is truly Completely Perfect.
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starlady
Guest
I discerned religious life off and on throughout high school and college. I couldn’t really imagine myself getting married and having kids (always referring to the future as “if I get married” or “if I have kids,” but I couldn’t decide if I was called to religious life either.
It wasn’t until the summer before my senior year of college that I realized religious life must not be for me, and incidentally, it was while I was spending two months volunteering at a Benedictine monastery where my aunt is a nun. I was in a moment of peace during their Liturgy of the Hours one day and I thought to myself that being a nun would be “easier” because I could avoid the problems and cares of the world and not worry about finding a husband. That’s true to an extent, but I realized in that moment that I was looking at religious life as an escape, when I felt that I should be running toward the vocation to which I’m called, rather than running away from something. For me, anyway.
That realization was really freeing for me, and I turned more toward just living my life. I met my future husband about a year and a half later, and within three years of graduating from college, I was married.
It wasn’t until the summer before my senior year of college that I realized religious life must not be for me, and incidentally, it was while I was spending two months volunteering at a Benedictine monastery where my aunt is a nun. I was in a moment of peace during their Liturgy of the Hours one day and I thought to myself that being a nun would be “easier” because I could avoid the problems and cares of the world and not worry about finding a husband. That’s true to an extent, but I realized in that moment that I was looking at religious life as an escape, when I felt that I should be running toward the vocation to which I’m called, rather than running away from something. For me, anyway.
That realization was really freeing for me, and I turned more toward just living my life. I met my future husband about a year and a half later, and within three years of graduating from college, I was married.
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dochawk
Guest
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JimR-OCDS
Guest
As long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to grow up, get married and have a family.
Jim
Jim
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joyful
Guest
I feel like religious life really is the easier option.
J
joyful
Guest
Kinda wondering as a follow-up question is it okay wanting to be a nun because I find the world so horrible and want to help add more saints and prayers to it? Or am I romanticizing this vocation?
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SnowRose
Guest
We all try make the world a better and brighter place, whatever our vocation, in different ways. Shining God’s light where we are.
Sometimes we make the easy choice because they call to us and ring true top to bottom. No hesitation, regrets or doubts.
Sometimes we make the easy choice because we are too afraid, discouraged, vague etc to make the right choice for a more challanging life.
My advice is just that you take a deep look at any choices you make because they feel easy. Are they just easy or are they right? Is this, whatever it is, what is meant for you or are you just going along?
And good luck.
Sometimes we make the easy choice because they call to us and ring true top to bottom. No hesitation, regrets or doubts.
Sometimes we make the easy choice because we are too afraid, discouraged, vague etc to make the right choice for a more challanging life.
My advice is just that you take a deep look at any choices you make because they feel easy. Are they just easy or are they right? Is this, whatever it is, what is meant for you or are you just going along?
And good luck.
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LundyLund
Guest
This. When I was in high school, I received a letter from a nearby seminary inviting me to explore a vocation. That letter went right in the trash.
Funny thing, though. Almost twenty years later, I just submitted my application for the discernment stage of the diaconate in my diocese. Now, it’s God’s turn to toss my letter in the trash if he desires.
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PJH_74
Guest
I just kind of happened for me. I wasn’t really looking and then my spouse literally come into my inbox as spam from a dating site I hadn’t tried in years. 13 years later I’m glad my spam filter didn’t work so well.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
I’d have probably responded if I got a letter from a seminary.This. When I was in high school, I received a letter from a nearby seminary inviting me to explore a vocation. That letter went right in the trash.
Funny thing, though. Almost twenty years later, I just submitted my application for the discernment stage of the diaconate in my diocese. Now, it’s God’s turn to toss my letter in the trash if he desires.
Never got one because I’m a female.
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