Marriage when both are new in town + Unusual time constraints. Where do we find an understanding priest?

[Cavaille-Coll]

Just remember that no diligent priest would ever set a wedding date until he is certain that the couple is capable of marriage.

 

[Gia_B]

So, in reality, I only recently “settled in” here. I have begun to look for a new parish here now that I am settled (I didn’t just want to join the closest church like I did before, I wanted a parish where I liked the priest and the community which required some “shopping around”). THEN, something unexpected happened - I have met someone (another Catholic who also happens to have just moved here from out of state) and it is looking like the relationship is headed to engagement this Spring/Summer.

A lot of people have commented on how you seem to be rushing the wedding in order to get the perfect date you’ve decided on. I, on the other hand, think that you’re rushing the engagement. The way I’m reading your post, you started looking for a regular church a few months ago (my assumption is that “recently” goes back about six months) and you met “Mr. Right” only after beginning that process. So how long have you actually known this guy for? And you already want to get engaged in the next few months? I know you’ve said that you’re sure about this, but really? I’m not an expert in these things, but I don’t think that it’s a good idea to talk marriage with someone unless you’ve known him for at least a year. It’s still early in your relationship and things could easily change. The two of you may still have some surprises for each other, the kinds of things you would probably like to know before you get married.

Maybe you’re “recently” is longer than my “recently” and you’ve known this guy for a lot longer than I’m assuming, but you’re still coming across as a bit to over eager to do all of this. I think you need to take a few steps back.

 

[evalague]

Hi everyone, I think I found a welcoming parish based on a diocese recommendation. Its a huge weight off my shoulders. I appreciate everyone’s support.

 

[Xantippe]

This is a little late, but here are some thoughts.

Schedule an early summer wedding, but keep it small and inexpensive so that if you have to cancel, it’s not a big deal. Then reschedule when you are freed up. (You may have issues with your lease and moving in, but it’s a relatively small detail.)

Also, at least where we are in TX, Christmas break is loooong. The public school kids go back to school about a week into January, and some private school kids go back in mid-January, so you may have more time than you think.

I also note that spring break was mentioned an option for you. It wasn’t clear to me if that conflicts with hurricane season, but if it doesn’t, it’s just about perfect, as the kids could attend, but you wouldn’t have to face a long stretch of step-momming/newlywedding, just that week.

I kind of wonder whether marrying while your intended has his kids is entirely a good idea, as I imagine setting up housekeeping together while his kids are there may be pretty rough on everybody.

A lot depends on how your relationship with the kids develops.