Marriage

[monroe86]

I’m a confirmed Catholic, but the man that I want to marry wants to get married at the courthouse.

Are courthouse marriages recognized by the Church?

 

[EasterJoy]

They are recognized as civil contracts, and where they are required locally as a condition of having the state recognize the marriage, they are certainly permissible. They are not permitted for Catholics to take it upon themselves to use these as a substitute for a valid exchange of vows according to canon law.

Why do I somehow doubt that this will not be the first obstacle the man you want to marry poses to your exercise of faith and your responsibility to bring children up according to the faith?

 

[AussieTrish]

You need to speak with your priest.

Canon Law regarding marriage:

catholicdoors.com/misc/marriage/canonlaw.htm

Canon 1108.1 Only those marriages are valid which are contracted in the presence of the local Ordinary or parish priest or of the priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who, in the presence of two witnesses, assists, in accordance however with the rules set out in the following canons, and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in cann. 144, 1112.1, 1116 and 1127.2-3.

If your fiance will not agree to a Sacramental marriage, are you likely to be able to live as an active Catholic, and to fulfill another obligation for a valid marriage, to have your partner agree to raise your children as Catholics?

Anyway, you do need to discuss everything with your priest.

God bless and guide you.

Best wishes and prayers,
Trish

 

[1ke]

I’m a confirmed Catholic, but the man that I want to marry wants to get married at the courthouse.

Are courthouse marriages recognized by the Church?

Not enough information.

If you are both Catholics the answer to your question is an emphatic NO. You must be married in Catholic form, no exceptions.

If you are Catholic and he is not, then it is possible to be married outside Catholic form. You two would attend Catholic marital preparation, you would need permission for mixed marriage if he is a baptized non-Catholic or a dispensation from disparity of cult if he is unbaptized. This comes from the Bishop. You must also show the priest that you will not be inhibited from the practice of your Catholic faith and you must promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith. It is possible if all these criteria are met that the bishop will dispense from Catholic form and allow a civil celebration of the marriage for a good reason. So, it will come down to why he wants a courthouse marriage.

I would suggest you rethink the “who you want to marry” part of your question if you are already starting out with someone opposed to even being married in the Church. That does not bode well for the future.

Have you not sat down with your parish priest yet?

 

[monroe86]

He’s been baptized in a Protestant church but doesn’t consider himself religious. I’m not entirely religious myself, given faith issues that I’d rather not discuss. My problem is, my parents are several more shades religious than I am. If I go to them and tell them that he and I got married [in the courthouse], then I don’t want them telling me that my marriage doesn’t mean anything. I have dealt with them before harassing me about how I was “living in sin”, and I just really don’t want to deal with that ever again. We’re both Googling our hearts out, but it’s getting exhausting.

So, from what I’ve heard, I should (a) talk to a priest and (b) get married with a priest’s witness. Well, is it possible to get married in a courthouse with the priest witnessing it? Sounds like covering a base to me.

 

[ClearWater]

I thought to marry in the Catholic Church, we are also to go to precana, marriage preparation class.

 

[1ke]

My problem is, my parents are several more shades religious than I am. If I go to them and tell them that he and I got married [in the courthouse], then I don’t want them telling me that my marriage doesn’t mean anything.

Well, if you get married at the courthouse wihtout going through Catholic premarital preparation, receiving permission for mixed marriage and a dispensation from form, and establishing your intent to raise your children in the Catholic faith, then your marriage will be invalid. Your parents are right to be concerned for you.

So, from what I’ve heard, I should (a) talk to a priest and (b) get married with a priest’s witness.

Marry in the Catholic form OR receive a dispensation from form to be married civilly-- if the bishop allows it.

Well, is it possible to get married in a courthouse with the priest witnessing it?

No. That is not possible.

I really encourage YOU to go talk to your parish priest. If you are not practicing the faith, then talk to him about it. Perhaps he can help you resolve your issues. If not, then you will have to come to grips that you are not in a position to ask the Church for the sacrament of marriage.

 

[phil19034]

Not enough information.

You must also show the priest that you will not be inhibited from the practice of your Catholic faith and you must promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith.

As someone who is going through this process, the Catholic party of a mixed marriage or marriage to a non-baptized person must promise to do everything in their power to raise the children Catholic without harming the marriage.

The spouse is informed of this promise.