Marriage

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Tamar01

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Hello, I am terrified God could want me to marry someone I don’t wish to marry. It makes me feel sick and I am thinking all the time, please God don’t make me marry this person.

But then, should you not obey God and stop deciding for your own? Because otherwise you will feel worse?
 
I suggest you change your prayer to “Please God help me to passionately love the one you have planned for me”

Seems easier to go with God’s flow than fight it.
 
Oh wait!! Do you mean a specific person? Like you know someone who you feel called to marry but also can’t stand??
 
God will not lead you into a marriage that you are this unhappy with. A marriage will bring many fruits and blessings into your life. If there is already someone in your life do not marry him before it’s too late.
 
FrenzyJen said:
I suggest you change your prayer to “Please God help me to passionately love the one you have planned for me”

Seems easier to go with God’s flow than fight it.
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Ditto. You’ll enjoy the presence of your husband/wife if (s)he is truly made for you. Just keep your prayers and vocation discernment open, and let His grace show you the way to go. 👍
 
If you absolutely cannot stand the person, then God is probably not calling you to marry that person. However, if it’s an arranged marriage and you just don’t know how much you love or could love the person, there’s hope. Arranged marriages are on average happier in the long run:
 
Tamar01 said:
Hello, I am terrified God could want me to marry someone I don’t wish to marry. It makes me feel sick and I am thinking all the time, please God don’t make me marry this person.

But then, should you not obey God and stop deciding for your own? Because otherwise you will feel worse?
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God or anyone else wouldn’t force you to marry someone that you didn’t basically love and find compatible. Marriage involves the free will of both parties to enter it. I’m not sure how you came to the conclusion that God is going to force you into marriage. Kinda a sad view of God. Your fears are unfounded and you need a better view of God than this.
 
  1. Not everyone is called to the married life. And certainly not everyone is called to the married life by a certain age. Never feel that you HAVE TO get married to someone just to fulfill your duty to God.
  2. Presuming that a pregnancy is not involved, God would never command you to do something that is against your will. Love is a gift. It must be given FREELY. You have stated that you really do not want to marry this person, so you should not. Marriage is not meant to be miserable.
  3. If pregnancy is involved, what you should do is more complicated. You are responsible for loving and caring for that new life for 20 years or more. BUT, simply forcing yourself to marry out of a sense of duty can dig the hole much deeper and cause more pain to more people. God does not wish to cause more people more pain because pregnancy came before a loving marriage.
  4. If pregnancy is involved, you need solid spiritual direction from TRAINED religious sources - more than your parents, relatives, friends, or your own thoughts can provide. Perhaps that source is in your parish or you may need to call the Diocese to connect with the right person. You will also need Legal Advice - support for the child from the other parent or through adoption.
  5. Whether pregnancy is involved or not, a proper marriage is a life long commitment. Love is necessary. Seek trained spiritual direction as soon as possible. Do not let your fears force you to do something against your will. Get proper advice.
 
robwar said:
God or anyone else wouldn’t force you to marry someone that you didn’t basically love and find compatible. Marriage involves the free will of both parties to enter it. I’m not sure how you came to the conclusion that God is going to force you into marriage. Kinda a sad view of God. Your fears are unfounded and you need a better view of God than this.
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Agreed.
Is there a reason why you think way?
Is a person or persons pushing you?
Listen to the above post.
And pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for peace of mind.
god bless,
pianist
 
Thanks, your answers are great!
People around me keep asking me why I stil have not found anyone. And they tell me I should not wait too long because it is better to get children if you’re young. Maybe, they pushed me in thinking I should marry the first religious man who is free and seems to be interested in talking with you.
 
Tamar01 said:
Thanks, your answers are great!
People around me keep asking me why I stil have not found anyone. And they tell me I should not wait too long because it is better to get children if you’re young. Maybe, they pushed me in thinking I should marry the first religious man who is free and seems to be interested in talking with you.
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Why ever would u want to think about getting married ?

It’s not on my agenda,
 
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