Marriage

[Blood_Angel]

What happens if you meet someone but feel as if you have nothing to offer a relationship?

I grew up in nihilism and depression before seeing Christianity as the truth, so I’ve made so many mistakes growing up… I have made my bed and have to lie in it you could say. However, I feel that I am not the kind of man to provide for a family, even if I want one. I don’t have much money and believe that I would be doing more harm than good to a potential mate by not allowing her to marry someone better.

What are peoples experiences with marriages, as all I’ve ever known are non-Catholics who don’t really see marriage the way we see it, as in the people I knew like to fornicate in then settle down one day is what you’re supposed to do. I always avoided that and remained pure, but I can’t imagine what life would be like if I become married and have kids. I am almost 30 and never been in a relationship ever.

Sorry for the vague title but I couldn’t think of anything.

 

[Cloisters]

Just concentrate on your life with God right now. Let Him do the guiding to any potential vocation.

 

[Stephen_says]

If you meet someone but have nothing to offer a relationship then most likely that person will notice and not be interested in a relationship with you, so you have nothing to worry about.

Not everyone is called to marriage. That’s not to say you aren’t supposed to be friends with people. One of the reasons we are on this earth is to be in communion with each other As well as with God. Just pray, form friendships, and don’t worry!

 

[JamalChristophr]

Sounds to me like you have a pretty negative self-image. But the truth is, God does not make junk. Don’t live in fear. If you never risk entering into some kind of relationship with another person you will regret it later.

Place your trust in the Providence of God and go forward!

 

[AdamP88]

I think a lot of people think that they have “nothing” or “not much” to offer to a potential spouse. If that’s truly the case then nobody would be interested in a relationship with you. Sometimes it takes another person to see things in you that are there but perhaps don’t come out until you meet them. I never think of myself as self-sacrificing or being particularly hard working (like…I work hard I guess but I don’t really consider it that way…I just think of it as normal) however my wife constantly tells me that I am and that she’s so happy she married me etc…

You should consider that when God created you, he thought the universe could do with a Blood Angel. There will only be one of you ever in the history of the universe. So I really doubt you have NOTHING to offer to a future spouse!

 

[Blood_Angel]

So I really doubt you have NOTHING to offer to a future spouse!

Thanks, that’s encouraging. I will still work harder to better my life and hopefully try to make more money but I will mostly be the best Catholic I can be and hopefully my devotion and spirit will attract more than my bank account.

 

[mikeeh]

I feel that I am not the kind of man to provide for a family, even if I want one.

Are you saying you lack the means to provide for a family or you lack the interest to provide? There are a lot of bad spouses, but if you’re respectful to your family and willing to provide for them you are far beyond a lot of people. Money isn’t everything in a relationship/family. There are a lot of hardworking men who don’t have a mansion or can’t afford private education who still make great husbands/fathers. There have been, and still are, a lot of people who marry the person of their first relationship. And you’re certainly not too old. Society has changed a lot in recent history and there are more people than ever marrying later in life. While I’ve had a few short relationships I’m still single in my early 30s, but I believe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

 

[Blood_Angel]

Are you saying you lack the means to provide for a family or you lack the interest to provide?

Currently I work part-time in a supermarket, I’ve held the job for 10 years and worked many different hours over that time. I would do this job full-time, I would do any minimum wage job full-time and do that job to the best of my ability to provide. I just don’t see myself earning more than minimum wage. I fear that I am judged for this sometimes, not being very ambitious or wanting a better job and I think sometimes it might spoil relationship opportunities.
Personally, I’m just happy to even have a job. The only reason I work part-time and not full-time is because, I earn enough for my position in life.