Married by Catholic Church twice - no divorce/annullment

[yessisan]

Hi,

I have a question that regards bigamy. My dad and my mom were married through the Catholic Church in 9/1977 and divorced in 8/1987. During that time, my mom discovered my dad had married someone else in 8/1985 both through the Church and civil. Note that my mom divorced him 2 years later. My dad did not want to divorce my mom because he said he loved both the other woman and my mom. My The thing is that my mom tried to annul her marriage when we used to live in Mexico, and the priest that married my mom and dad said to my mom that it was impossible and she couldn’t do it, so he excommunicated my mom when the one that should’ve been excommunicated was my dad. He lied to the Church by using an old baptismal certificate to marry another while he was married to my mom.

My mom has copies of my dad’s civil marriage to the other lady (9/85), and she has her original ones and the divorce papers that date 8/87. My mom used to have the Catholic certificate too, but she lost it. But, you can clearly see that he contracted civil marriage two years before my parents divorced.

My question is, is the civil certificate enough to prove to the Church he committed bigamy? Can she get her marriage annulled?

She remarried 5 years ago or so, and my step dad was never married through the Church. I keep on telling my mom to go speak to the pastor of our parish so she can marry my step dad through the church but she is hesitating.

I already told the pastor about this, but my mom doesn’t think she needs to annul her marriage any more. She says God knows who she really is married to. Plus, she doesn’t think the civil certificate with her divorce papers would prove my real dad committed bigamy. I think she can.

Can anyone help??

 

[CRW]

She remarried 5 years ago or so, and my step dad was never married through the Church. I keep on telling my mom to go speak to the pastor of our parish so she can marry my step dad through the church but she is hesitating.

I already told the pastor about this, but my mom doesn’t think she needs to annul her marriage any more. She says God knows who she really is married to. Plus, she doesn’t think the civil certificate with her divorce papers would prove my real dad committed bigamy. I think she can.

Can anyone help??

What did the priests say? Since she did remarry without an annulment, it seems from a layman’s point of view, that she cannot receive the Blessed Sacrament. If your pastor is aware of the problem and did not instruct you otherwise, I would get a second opinion concerning the matter. As far as the papers, if will all come out in the wash in the annulment process.

 

[yessisan]

What did the priests say? Since she did remarry without an annulment, it seems from a layman’s point of view, that she cannot receive the Blessed Sacrament.

She remarried 15 years after the priest told her she couldn’t annul the marriage. I don’t exactly know what the priest told her. I was 4 when my parents seperated. We are also aware that she cannot (nor my step dad can) receive communion because she divorced and remarried.

 

[CRW]

She remarried 15 years after the priest told her she couldn’t annul the marriage. I don’t exactly know what the priest told her. I was 4 when my parents seperated. We are also aware that she cannot (nor my step dad can) receive communion because she divorced and remarried.

So sorry to hear; 15 years without our Lord. Make a appointment with your priest, discuss the matter and see what you can do to resolve the problem. The Church has grown in the past 15 years and many things are now possible. God Bless

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

If the priest in Mexico said that in 1987, in light of the facts as you stated them, he was wrong. I am of the age group that married in the 1970s, young 20-somethings of the period. We had anullments. They weren’t that hard to get. I know if it had been me, I wouldn’t have left it to talking to one priest. Maybe, to be fair, there was a language gap. Maybe he didn’t understand the situation. But getting a second opinion in such a matter is not a bad idea.

That said, the best person to talk to your mother- if she is willing- is a priest; hopefully, an American priest well-versed in canon law. Each marriage situation, while being the same (a marriage) is also unique.

Unfortunately, you can’t drag Mom and Stepdad in by their ears to the rectory office. You can pray about the situation, and should, a lot. You can do a little of the leg work on this, if they’re agreeable, by presenting information that would help lead to a decree of nullity. In short, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make 'em drink.

 

[mosher]

The thing is that my mom tried to annul her marriage when we used to live in Mexico, and the priest that married my mom and dad said to my mom that it was impossible and she couldn’t do it, so he excommunicated my mom when the one that should’ve been excommunicated was my dad.

First I wanted to note that a priest does not have the ability to excommunicate anyone. Only the Bishop has that ability.

My question is, is the civil certificate enough to prove to the Church he committed bigamy? Can she get her marriage annulled?

I believe that it would and that it would be sufficient to begin the annulment process but you must also understand that because he committed bigamy does not mean that your parents marriage can be annulled. However, it would be a good catalyst to begin the process. What do you know about annulments?

I already told the pastor about this, but my mom doesn’t think she needs to annul her marriage any more. She says God knows who she really is married to. Plus, she doesn’t think the civil certificate with her divorce papers would prove my real dad committed bigamy. I think she can.

While it is true that God knows - because God knows all - marriage is a public thing and as such the Church has rights concerning the governance of marriage. To deny the Church that right is grave error. Since it is a topic of discussion it is obviously bothering your mother and so it could act as a healing process for your mother. Determining the validity of your parents marriage is up to the tribunal but the process itself can be a blessing on many levels.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi,
My question is, is the civil certificate enough to prove to the Church he committed bigamy? Can she get her marriage annulled?

she needs a civil lawyer if her husband did indeed commit bigamy.

She needs to see her pastor about an annulment. No possibility of third parties knowing all the facts, despite the supposed documentation. No one here is competent to make a judgement. The entire story of what the other priest told her is highly suspect for one thing and not according to Church policy in the US, Mexico or any other country.

There is not enough information to go on, that is why we have a Tribunal to conduct formal investigations, we do not rely on hearsay. If the facts were indeed as stated the first marriage would probably be declared invalid due to existence of a prior bond, a rather simple procedure. In my parish experience the facts are seldom as stated initially, and when all the information comes out the facts of all previous marriages must be submitted to the Tribunal, with the earliest marriage decided first, since that affects all subsequent marriages.

The process, however simple, cannot begin until one of the parties to the marriage–no third party–approaches the pastor to set it in motion. At that time they had better present all the facts and evidence as they know it, so he can make an informed decision and recommendation.

 

[scared]

Hello:

First, skip the priest, it would be too complicated for him to give yuo an answer. Go to the marriage tribunal. Since your father married while married to your mother, he presumably consumated the marraige with the other woman making him guilty of adultery. That is grounds for an annulment. There would have to be a full investigation, but all documentation your mother has would be presented. Also your father’s second marriage is invalid because he is was already married. Your mothers marriage now is also invalid in the eyes of the church.

As to the priest in Mexico, it is just another example of the church clergy hurting people. He was wrong. You could talk to your priest and see what he thinks, your mother ultimately has to do the work, but if you have some evidence that she has a chance to get it annulled she may go for it.

scared