Married Men: who do you confide in about sensitive issues?

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AlanFromWichita

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Married men, if you have something to discuss that involves traditionally “sensitive” marital topics, such as sex, money, child rearing, is there anyone in your life you feel you can openly discuss it without at least holding back a little? A friend once asked me, “how come I can just say whatever I feel around you guys but around my wife I’m always on guard?”

Maybe it’s because we’re afraid of hurting her feelings? So we clam up or downplay it? Do we do it to hide our less attractive parts from each other?

Anyway, who do you turn to when you have a problem, let’s say nothing really big, but in a so-called “personal” area?

Oh, and this is a private poll, so technically anyone can vote other than Married Men and I can’t tell the difference, so if you want to vote based on your opinion of married men, help yourself!

Alan
 
Mods, I thought this would be an interesting thread. I think it might be way to personal so at your judgment I invite you to delete it. I’ll try to stay less personal.

I thought I could provoke some discussion about how couples can better communicate, but I don’t think any longer it will work out that way. 😛

Alan
 
Hey Alan,

Thanx for the multiple answers. I plugged-in wife, friend and Priest.

In spite of being ‘ripped’ on here at the CAF, I do confide personal matters in a few, very close, long-time friends.
Of course, the Priest hears all my sins in confession. But I tell it ALL to my wife. I hold nothing back. Now, whether she is interested, or not is another matter, but at least she acts interested…http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif
 
my husband doesnt confide to any one. hes an Island unto himself i believe the saying goes. when he comes to me with something hes worried about or something that hes upset about, i KNOW its serious, cause the little things he keeps to himself or they just plain dont bother him hes a simple kind of guy, he doesnt like to worry me i guess. i can always tell when something is bothering him though and its usually pretty hard to drag it out of him, but when he wants to talk he lays down on the couch puts his head on my lap and talks. same way every time. 9 times out of 10 its work related stress, for the first time in his life he has his own company, insurance company no less, hes used to working with his hands and sometimes he says he feels to “country bumpkin” to do this job. But he works hard at and i love him for it, so hes free to put his head on my lap anytime and confide in me. im very proud of him. Men you should feel free to confide in your wives, we already know something is bothering you, why bother to keep it a secret. Just from a wife’s point of view 😉
 
I am sorry to see that God has not been mentioned in the above list.

I confide everything in Him and receive the bet guidance and solutions to all that I place before Him.

In the temporal reality of our earthly existance i would confide in my wife after God, then a Priest and only then in very very close friend. Needless to say all is sorted usually after no 3.
  1. God
  2. Wife
  3. Priest
  4. Close Friend
 
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Fergal:
I am sorry to see that God has not been mentioned in the above list.

I confide everything in Him and receive the bet guidance and solutions to all that I place before Him.

In the temporal reality of our earthly existance i would confide in my wife after God, then a Priest and only then in very very close friend. Needless to say all is sorted usually after no 3.
  1. God
  2. Wife
  3. Priest
  4. Close Friend
Click to expand...
Excellent point.

Alan
 
Of course I would hope that my husband would answer me, his wife, but I believe that I could say…

God and his deceased father. I know that he talks alot to his father. More for comfort than anything else. His father died when he was very young, so he somewhat has a “super hero” image of his father, which is fine in my opinion.
 
I noticed family was not on the list. I can still talk about almost anything with my Mom, as we have really been through tough times and have helped each other over the years. I can also talk to my wife about anything.
 
I guessed I was biased, and now I’ll reveal.

I’m happy to see so many people who say they can really confide in their wives.

I see a lot of men who wish they could, but can’t seem to do it. It is nice so many think they can. I was afraid that hardly anyone else felt as able to be open about even the strangest things to their wives as I can (after a couple decades getting to that point), and I felt kinda bad about it.

Alan
 
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