Married Multiple times and in Mortal Sin Now

[wmbarney]

Are annulments ok. How do you get an annulment? What about the Souls of people married more than once.Are we destined for hell even if we truley want conversion and enter into Jesus Flock? Please help my soul crys for redemention, HELP PLEASE PRAY FOR ME I AM CONFUSED.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Dear one, don’t be afraid. Fear is the devil’s way of keeping you from God. Hang in there and trust that if you do your part, God will always do His.

First off, an annulment isn’t a Catholic divorce. It is okay. It is a formal recognition that a marriage was never valid in the first place. Reasons for this can include the incapacity of one or both of the parties to give valid consent. Not that they just didn’t feel like hanging in there, but that they did not truly give consent or did not have the capacity to keep the promise. (As marriages are always assumed to be valid until proven otherwise, obtaining an annulment can be an arduous process.)

It does not matter so much how many times you were married as it does if even a single one of those marriages were valid. If one of them was, then all others after that one were not valid. As far as whether or not one can validly enter into marriage when one believes oneself to already be validly married… that is a question for a canon lawyer. In fact, you need to consult with someone at your chancery office about your case to decide how to proceed. In the meantime, live a chaste life and offer your contrition for your past sins to God. (By the way… no need to confine yourself to the serial marriages. That may not be where you are farthest off the mark.)

The canon lawyers, however, should not be your first stop. I don’t know if you’re in mortal sin. You need to talk to a priest. He won’t bite your head off. He will welcome you back and he will tell you where you stand with the Church. If you are in mortal sin, the sacrament of reconciliation will provide you the means to be reconciled with God. Completely, and right away. Don’t delay. You are being tempted by the evil one towards thinking your case is hopeless. As long as you draw breath and desire to please God, your case is never going to be hopeless. Even the desire for God is from God! He is calling you! Do not believe the lies the tempter will feed you. Run to God, and He will save you!

 

[wmbarney]

I Have two Annulments, But what about my Children from these marriages ? They never had a family? I went to my local priest the two annulments I have I initiated and completed but my current wife of 8 years has delayed compleing her annulment for her marriage 3 Years now. I desperatly want reconciliation and Holy Communion. I attend Sunday Mass but I am still in Mortal Sin according to the Church. I asked the priest about living as brother and sister but he said it still could be a cause of scandal. I’ts like a HUGE WALL is stopping my desire for reconcilliation. I have prayed and prayed, I feel like a sheep caught in thick thistle it hurts evreywhere. I have asked my wife a hundred times to finish her annulment papers. She always says she will but never does! If I died today I would be going to hell according to our Church and I believe in ALL the teachings of the Church, now.

 

[Tom]

wmbarney:

I Have two Annulments

If you’ve had two annulments, how could you possibly be asking such basic questions? Someone had to explain the ramifications to you.

wmbarney:

But what about my Children from these marriages ?

You really have had two annulments and don’t understand the status of the children?

wmbarney:

They never had a family?

Please refer to the CCC if no one explained this to you.

wmbarney:

I went to my local priest the two annulments I have I initiated and completed but my current wife of 8 years has delayed compleing her annulment for her marriage 3 Years now.

You did what? You do realize that the priest doesn’t “give” you an annulment don’t you? Let me see if I’ve got this straight, you’ve had two annulments in the Catholic Church, your wife was previously married ? she never had her marriage annulled? Were you and your present wife married in the Catholic Church?

wmbarney:

I desperatly want reconciliation and Holy Communion. I attend Sunday Mass but I am still in Mortal Sin according to the Church.

You are? Exactly why are you in mortal sin?

wmbarney:

I asked the priest about living as brother and sister but he said it still could be a cause of scandal.

Are you living a chaste life? Since I wasn’t there for the discussion I would refer you again to the CCC on chastity.

wmbarney:

If I died today I would be going to hell according to our Church and I believe in ALL the teachings of the Church, now.

you need to review all of your problems in relation to the CCC. I think you’ll feel a lot happier when you understand what you need to do.

 

[wmbarney]

No one explained the ramifications of my annulments to me. They were actualy submitted to the Chancery office by A Deacon I know in another Parish. Please excuse my ignorance but is the CCC the Catholic Catichism.? I would acknowledge that though I tried to live a chaste life with my present wife until her marriage was annuled and we were properly married in th Church, I have failed which brings me to Mortal Sin and unable to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation,because we are still Married.

 

[Sir_Hubert]

Peace be with You …

I recieved an annulment myself nearly 14 years ago. I must say I am a bit confused by some of your comments. It seems to me that maybe something was missed during the process of your “annulments”. I would think that after taking the basic psych written test and filling out the nearly 40 pages of “history” explaining your marriage for the local Tribunial to review, you would have a much better understanding of the Churches teachings. Of course having to have two witnesses to fill out the required questionaires for the Tribunial also helps with the healing process. Did you not have a least two meeting with your pastor for each of these annulments? One before and one after? What about the the required meeting with the pastor, discussing your last marriage before you are able to marry again in the church? (It’s at the end of the formal document of Annulment ) All these questions you have should have answered at that point.

What is most concerning is your statment …

If I died today I would be going to hell according to our Church and I believe in ALL the teachings of the Church, now.

---

The Church belongs to Jesus Christ, and we are members of *His *Church. We follow His teachings through Holy Scriptures, The Catechism, and the teachings of the Magistarium. All your answers are found there.

With the greatest amount of love and fellowship I will be as direct as I can, knowing what your going through having been there…

If your wife was previously married, and has not recieved an annulment through the Church, she is still married. The same goes for you if your annulment was not uptained through the Tribunal. That being said, if one or both are still married in the eyes of the Church, you cannot remarry, even if you uptain a civil divorce. This is not man’s law, this is God’s law. The sins of Adultry and fornication are very serious and you put your soul in peril. You are correct in stating that you cannot recieve Holy Communion with grave sin on your soul.

This all said, you know what has to be done. I would be very surprised if you mentioned that your were married to your current wife in a Catholic Church. You and your wife must recieve annulments for all previous marriages, and then have your current marriage Sacramently blessed by the Church. There is no option here.

As far as your children, each member is accepted into the church through a valid baptism. Your annuled marriage has no effect of their standing in the church.

Again, to be a little blunt, this is your mortal soul we are talking about. Based on the information you gave us, you are willingly living in grave sin. If your wife refuses to act, that is her choice, and should tell you something.

Talk to your priest. Seek counceling. Read the Catechism. Seek out the answers in Cannon law. Pray, Pray, Pray … Ask Our Lord for guidence and strenght.

In His Peace …

 

[asquared]

You need the advice of priest on the condition of your soul, monthly or even weekly confession if the situation warrants, and the immediate advice of your pastor on the status of your marriage, your wife’s previous marriage, and referral to the tribunal. Insist that everyone involved all the way through the process explains exactly what is happening at every stage. It is your right. Do not bring complicated situations like this to a forum of strangers for advice, on the marriage tribunal in your diocese can make an investigation and recommendation to your bishop, and only he can make a decision on whether any previous marriage or this current marriage was valid. Do not delay. In my diocese it only costs $300, which can be waived in case of true need (less than a tenth of the actual cost the diocese incurs in processing the case).

 

[Veronica_Anne]

wmbarney:

No one explained the ramifications of my annulments to me. They were actualy submitted to the Chancery office by A Deacon I know in another Parish. Please excuse my ignorance but is the CCC the Catholic Catichism.? I would acknowledge that though I tried to live a chaste life with my present wife until her marriage was annuled and we were properly married in th Church, I have failed which brings me to Mortal Sin and unable to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation,because we are still Married.

You are so brave to admit not knowing something. Please do not let anyone who sounds like they’re speaking down to you like one person may have already keep you from asking questions.

No need to apologize for ignorance.

The CCC is a short way of typing “Cathechism of the Catholic Church.”

There’s a convenient search engine on the entire Catechism of the Catholic Church at a Website put up by St. Charles Borromeo parish. Here’s the Web site for it:

scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

You can type any words in the blank box on that page that you want to find out where those words show in the Catechism. It’s my favorite site for the Catechism. Or you can click on the Table of Contents to go to different parts of the Catechism that are of interest to you.

By the way, everyone in the world is called to a chaste life. As a married person, I am called to being chaste as is my husband.

The word “chaste” sometimes is used when the intended meaning is “celibate.”

The word “chastity” appears in 30 different paragraphs in the Catechism. Here’s a click-able list to those 30 paragraphs.

ccc.scborromeo.org.master.com/texis/master/search/?sufs=0&q=chastity&s=SS

Here’s the results on just the word “chaste.” There’s only 5 paragraphs that have “chaste” in them.

ccc.scborromeo.org.master.com/texis/master/search/?sufs=0&q=chaste&s=SS

Here’s the results on just the word “celibacy.” There’s only 5 paragraphs that have “celibacy” in them.

ccc.scborromeo.org.master.com/texis/master/search/?sufs=0&q=celibacy&s=SS

Similarly, here’s the results on just the word “celibate.” There’s only 2 paragraphs that have “celibate” in them.

ccc.scborromeo.org.master.com/texis/master/search/?sufs=0&q=celibate&s=SS

Whether that helps you, or not, I don’t know.

Please know that I am praying for both you and for your wife on this. God knows that you are struggling with it. And are trying to obey Him. It’s tough… but please just try to hang in there. It’ll clear up!

One thing you can do right away as to ask that Deacon to speak with you about what it was that he did… and don’t let him off the hook until he either answers your questions AND points you to someone else whom you can ask about all this.

Knock, and it shall be opened. Seek, and you will find.

God loves you then, loves you now, and will always love you. ** Do not be afraid!!**

 

[Veronica_Anne]

asquared:

You need the advice of priest on the condition of your soul, monthly or even weekly confession if the situation warrants, and the immediate advice of your pastor on the status of your marriage, your wife’s previous marriage, and referral to the tribunal. Insist that everyone involved all the way through the process explains exactly what is happening at every stage. It is your right. Do not bring complicated situations like this to a forum of strangers for advice, on the marriage tribunal in your diocese can make an investigation and recommendation to your bishop, and only he can make a decision on whether any previous marriage or this current marriage was valid. Do not delay. In my diocese it only costs $300, which can be waived in case of true need (less than a tenth of the actual cost the diocese incurs in processing the case).

This is the correct answer. Thanks for posting this, asquared!

 

[wmbarney]

Thank You, I didn’t know who to talk to, I apologize for bringing this type of questions to a group of strangers but when I heard about Catholic.com on my radio station I came right to the website. This was the only place I could think of to get the correct answer, I know the last answer is correct . Thank You Asquared. You have given me Hope. I will follow through with your advice. God Bless You.

 

[Augustine]

wmbarney:

… unable to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation,because we are still Married.

I’m in the same situation, but we do go to Confession, only it’s a partial Reconciliation. I start by mentioning my situation before I go into enumerating my sins. All sins I repent for and intend to not commit are forgiven, except those against the VI Commandment.

 

[Prometheum_x]

Augustine:

I’m in the same situation, but we do go to Confession, only it’s a partial Reconciliation. I start by mentioning my situation before I go into enumerating my sins. All sins I repent for and intend to not commit are forgiven, except those against the VI Commandment.

Unfortunately, a valid confession requires repentance from all mortal sins. One cannot repent for some sins and intend to not commit those and conciously hold back some other sin.

 

[Augustine]

Prometheum_x:

Unfortunately, a valid confession requires repentance from all mortal sins. One cannot repent for some sins and intend to not commit those and conciously hold back some other sin.

I don’t hold back any sin, only that I cannot be absolved of them all. Or so I was told and, I think, also heard on Catholic Answers Live.

Please, elaborate.

God bless.

 

[wmbarney]

I have to agree with Prometheum X. I was always told that you must be sorry & REPENT of ALL your sins. Reconciliation is what it says , Reconciliation to God through Jesus , How can you have that( Reconciliation ) and still have Mortal sin on your Soul? If your still living in it ( Mortal Sin ) how can you be reconciled to God? I wish their was another way but except for The Grace of God, I don’t believe their is.

 

[Augustine]

wmbarney:

I have to agree with Prometheum X. I was always told that you must be sorry & REPENT of ALL your sins. Reconciliation is what it says , Reconciliation to God through Jesus

I’m aware that I’m not reconciled with God. But my question is whether the sins I do repent are forgiven.

TIA

 

[Leo44]

It only takes one non repended mortal sin to condem us. Seems like a moot point to me.