Married to a Non-Catholic Christian

  • Thread starter Thread starter Christian4life
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

Christian4life

Guest
I really have 2 questions, but I guess I am going to need 2 seperate threads here. Okay, well I know there is already a similar thread about this, but it didn’t really answer my question.
I and my husband are Protestant, but I’m considering converting to Catholicism. I am pretty convinced that a lot of what the Catholic church believes is true, though I’m still questioning. But my husband, even though he agrees with Catholics a lot too, frowns on the idea of me actually becoming Catholic. I think there are many issues that hold him back: birth control, confessing to priests, baptism, and the infallibility of the Pope are the main ones. He has said I could go to Catholic church only *sometimes *but he would rather I go to the church his dad pastors at. He gets mad at me sometimes about wanting to become Catholic. I really love him and we have a pretty great marriage and I don’t want to upset that, and even though I think it would be a good thing, I don’t really think that I have to be a Catholic to be a Christian, so my question is should I even consider becoming Catholic if I know it is going to cause so much trouble in my marriage?

I know this is something I’m going to have to pray and consider a lot more for myself, but I just wondered what ya’ll would think.
 
I’m not married and I really don’t feel equipped to give you the answer that your looking for. However, I strongly reccomend that you and your husband (If he is willing) read Scott Hahn’s: Rome Sweet Home. This is an amazing book and it talks about his struggle as a protestant minister to catholicism and it also highlights the struggle which happened in his marriage as a result. Hopefully this will help you and if it doesn’t help you with your marriage it is still a wonderful thought provoking and life changing book! God Bless! and Good Luck!
 
40.png
sara85:
I’m not married and I really don’t feel equipped to give you the answer that your looking for. However, I strongly reccomend that you and your husband (If he is willing) read Scott Hahn’s: Rome Sweet Home. This is an amazing book and it talks about his struggle as a protestant minister to catholicism and it also highlights the struggle which happened in his marriage as a result. Hopefully this will help you and if it doesn’t help you with your marriage it is still a wonderful thought provoking and life changing book! God Bless! and Good Luck!
Click to expand...
Thank you, I will really try to look into that.
 
Scott Hahn’s Rome Sweet Home is an excellent suggestion! I believe Kimberly Hahn’s father was/is also a Protestant minister, making things even trickier for them, as it will for you Christian4Life. I am rather new to this myself (I am the quintessential cradle catholic who didn’t have a clue about their faith, recently on fire for the Lord) so I don’t know of any sound advice except to say this: Once you know that you can recieve Jesus–body, blood, soul and divinity–in the eucharist, how can you turn away?

I will pray for you and your journey.
 
Christian,

I’ve been where you are, and it’s a pretty uncomfortable place. A few observations:
  1. The suggestions about the Hahn’s book is excellent. You will recognize your journey in theirs.
  2. Get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and start reading. Start with a topic you are struggling with, and read not only what the Catechism says, but also follow the footnotes. Most of the footnotes will lead you to the Bible. Also trace down the sources quoted from the writings of the Church Fathers and Saints. In this way, you will become very familiar with what the Church holds to be true and why.
  3. Be patient with your husband. It was not so long ago that you knew less about the Catholic Church than you do today. The issues he objects to can all be rationally and thoroughly explained. One of the wonderful things about the Catholic Church is that its beliefs are not a secret, and the reasons it believes what it does are so easy to discover. A lot of your research can be done for free on the Internet. Your husband is trapped in a certain mindset or prejudice against the Church without having examined the Church’s position. He believes he ‘knows’ about the issues because he has been taught a position by someone else who is not a Catholic, and he has accepted that position without examining the other side of the story. As Protestants, all of us have been caught in that trap at one time.
  4. When I was in your position, I attended Mass and went to our old Protestant church to keep the peace. I sustained that for about a year before I ‘defected’ to Rome. Maybe you could go to the Vigil Mass on Saturday night, then go to his church on Sunday.
  5. My final piece of advice is this. Our Lord honors your marriage (and is in fact the author of the Sacrament of marriage). However, He asks us not to put anything or anyone ahead of Him. Ponder these things for a while, and let the Lord guide you. He will not abandon you or your family.
 
:clapping: What a lovely post Mary!

Tough situation! All I can add is that you love your husband and talk to him about your feelings!
Good luck and God bless you on your journey!
 
Mary’s suggestions are great!

A couple more reflections. You write: “He has said I could go to Catholic church only *sometimes *but he would rather I go to the church his dad pastors at. He gets mad at me sometimes about wanting to become Catholic. I really love him and we have a pretty great marriage…” Real love that you mention has in its core the genuine concern for the other person’s well-being. This means that your husband should give you the freedom to choose a religion that nurtures your heart and soul, that makes YOU happy, not the religion that is convenient or comfortable for him. When your husband is setting the “rules” of how often you can go to the Catholic Church, does he have YOUR best interests at heart or his own? You shouldn’t need your husband’s or anyone else’s approval to turn to Christ in the Eucharist.

A couple more considerations:
  1. Since your husband’s father is a pastor, you will have a lot of pressure from his side of the family to not convert to Catholicism. Be sure to have a good support group of your friends and family who support your decision to convert.
  2. Remember that Jesus has repeatedly said that those who suffer for his sake will be exalted.
 
I believe the answer here is “patience.”

I am in a similar situation. When I met my husband, we decided to go to a Church we both could attend. (This meant my leaving the Catholic Church, unfortunately.) However, I felt I was being called back or that I never really left entirely. Now we are at a cross-roads. We are members at a Lutheran church and have been attending Catholic mass at a local parish for a few weeks (which is a true miracle I never thought I’d live to see.) I believe the more you let your husband in on where your heart lies and how you are feeling, the more understanding he will be. (That, as well as being patient with him since the Lord has a plan for all of us.) It is difficult to belong to a church that is separate from your husband. You probably never imagined that you’d be split on the topic of religion. However, you have to believe that God has his hand on all of this and knows how it will work out. The Scott Hahn story is amazing. The conversions of he and his wife will give you hope. Keep praying!!! God will lead you where you need to go in His time. Believe this. Who knows, perhaps a year or two down the road, you will both be converted completely and witnessing to the full TRUTH contained in this wonderful Church?!

God bless you, I’ll keep you in my prayers! 🙂
 
It is very comforting to know that there are others experiencing similar situations, so just know that there are others out there who you can relate to and talk to. I will be praying for you and your husband, that God leads the two of you even closer to him and down the path he has planned for you. Good luck and God Bless!

Heatherfeather
 
Dear Christian4Life,

No doubt this is a difficult situation. The protestant/catholic issue can be very confusing. I am an evangelical protestant, and before investigating catholicism I had no idea how complicated the situation was. Here is an idea that may be helpful in the discernment process:

Make up two lists. On the one list, write down pro-catholic books, probably the best ones are by Scott Hahn, as was already suggested, or a guy named Keating, or the book a friend of mine bought me, “Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic” by David Currie. Ask the people here for more suggestions. Or go to Ignatius press and do a search.

On the other list, of course, write down books written by protestants against catholicism. Do a search for books by James White, R.C. Sproul, and John Macarthur to start. White’s book “The Roman Catholic Controversy” might be a start on this list.

This sounds like a lot of reading, and it can make your head spin. But it’s well worth it. Wait. One more thing–

In weighing the evidence, keep in mind that you can prejudice yourself not only by the amount of time given to each side, but also to the quality of the sources. Say for example if you talk to a local priest, then read a book by a protestant apologetic. A local priest hasn’t exhaustively researched the deabe the way an author on the subject has. It’s not really fair. A priest can talk to you for an hour about Transubstantiation, but a book “talks” to you for 10 hours or more. Or on the other side, if all you read are Scott Hahn books, and then compare it to what your protestant friends, or even a pastor says–that’s not being objective either. It’s tough!

Does this make any sense to anyone? I hope it helps. Dave
 
Christian4life,

My wife and I dated for 11 years. We have been married for 4 years. We now have 2 little girls. She is a baptist and her whole family is baptist.

I am a cradle catholic who had no idea about my faith. In the last year I have studied church history and have read many books (Scott Hahn, Stephen Ray, Keating, the Catechism, books on church history, articles on Martin Luther) and have read many more articles on the internet. Before I knew my faith my wife would always question things about my beliefs. This lead to us “shopping” around for a church besides the catholic church we attend. We were married in a catholic church and the priest was what kept my wife interested. But when we moved, she wasn’t very excited about the new priest and the new church. Hence, we “shopped”.

Of course, as time went on, she and I would have debates as to why catholics believe this or that. My response was, “Tradition”. That didn’t cut it as an answer and at times frustration would set in. So I started learning. She is now able to come to church with me and has no problem raising our girls catholics. Every time she has a question about the churches teachings, we both study it on-line or read the catechism and the bible to find the meanings and its references. I found that the bible has many references to the teachings of the church. You just have to dig and be very vigilant on looking for the answer and pray a lot.

We also use the following link to listen to Scott Hahn on the internet. We don’t have a fast connection (dial-up) but it works very well since it’s only audio no video:

salvationhistory.com/library/apologetics/index.cfm

This site has many explanations, by Scott Hahn, about the beliefs of the catholic church.

Ashli also reads a lot of books that I’ve bought. I pray everyday that she will take the Eucharist with me one day.

Our two year old was baptized by the priest that married Ashli and I. Our 3 month old will be baptized by the same priest in December.

I’ve been told that as long as you can plant a seed and that your explanations about the true church is THE TRUTH then there will be no question. This is working and I’ve also involved Ashli’s family in the studying of church history. They actually agree with a lot of the teachings of the church.

God bless you,

BigSnoMan
 
40.png
Christian4life:
I’m where You are Today friend in Christ, converting to Catholicism.

Only YOU can answer your question posed. But I sincerely hope you will answer God’s call to His True Church Friend. Sounds like YOU want to go there–and you must!!!

I feel GOD has totally called me to become a Catholic despite what my husband or huge family might think. My Dad is a Protestant Pastor–(50 yrs)-- and hubby and children nominal “Protestants”. No matter to me–although yes, it’s hard and yes, we have major issues which will inevitably need working out eventually. It’s something I just gotta do. I feel we all in this life need to take up our cross in this life and follow it. There is no place for mediocrity–for whimps–for folks who just want to blend in–do what’s expected, etc.,for this is such a lame cop-out-----weak beyond belief… But at the same time realize many will just be too weak to take a stand. YOU must decide what is more important, being accepted and doing what your hubby desires–or your desire to become a Catholic. You just might be the necessary instrument God is using to bring Him, and your whole family to Christ’'s True Church. Have you throught of this?

I do think if God calls you to follow Him in His True Church–you should GO. By all means. Don’t be weak. Are you in RCIA yet? I am, and I know it’s where God is calling me to.
God Bless You Friend. I say have guts–tell hubby your feelings and discoveries----and why you want to convert and then just go for it! I am–YES it’s scary—but then who is on our side? Why, the Almighty!!! Praise the Lord!!!

Blessings~
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top