Marrying at university???

[Xantippe]

T

And the examples you gave, we’ve done nearly all of those things. Okay so we’ve never been to a party together (though neither of us like them very much so we don’t go to many and the friends we both have aren’t party people either), yes you’re right we’ve never cleaned a house together (please tell me how this is a significant challenge), I’ve been talking to him on the phone/video chat (Skype) when he’s been shopping, we both know each other’s diets, what each other likes to eat, what products each other likes to use and show each other our shopping receipts for example (we share all of our lives with each other, even that boring stuff). We’ve had many serious discussions (and debates) about finances, budgeting, our individual spending habits, what we think acceptable spending choices are etc. you don’t need to be in the same country to do this…

I do completely understand what you’re getting at though and appreciate your concern and advice.

It’s good that you’ve talked about finances.

Do you really not understand that differing ideas about household cleanliness and who should do what at home are substantial issues that a lot of couples struggle terribly with? And no, I don’t think it is necessary to live with somebody to figure that out, but one does need in person time to figure out their habits.

Give yourself some time before you are actually engaged and planning a wedding to work out the kinks.

 

[thewanderer]

It’s good that you’ve talked about finances.

Do you really not understand that differing ideas about household cleanliness and who should do what at home are substantial issues that a lot of couples struggle terribly with? And no, I don’t think it is necessary to live with somebody to figure that out, but one does need in person time to figure out their habits.

Give yourself some time before you are actually engaged and planning a wedding to work out the kinks.

I think this is important to keep in mind. However, considering the fact that you have said both this

Hi

I feel this way too. Yes, neither of us have ever wanted a big wedding, we both want a very intimate wedding with very close friends and family, say between 10-20 people and like I said neither of us like parties so we’ll probably have some sort of social event afterwards with the guests but not necessarily a party, it doesn’t have to be a party to be an enjoyable and fun reception.

Thank you for your well wishes

This

Hi

Financial situation:** I have two years left **of the course and the course is paid by the government and doesn’t need to be paid back. My partner is also very financially stable, he’s 8 years older than me and able to support us both.

And this

Thank you for your concern but I do not need words of warning, I asked for advice on the challenges of being a newlywed and being** in the final year** of a university degree.

It sounds like you are planning on a small simple, easy to plan wedding, but still planning on getting married a year from now. So that sounds to me like you can accommodate everything everyone has been saying very easily. Planning a small simple wedding doesn’t take longer than the 6 months required for marriage prep by the Church anyway. So have him come over, spend 6 months getting to know each other better, and then, assuming you both still wish to continue 6 months planning your wedding and doing marriage prep. You will then get married with one year left at University, just as you have been suggesting, and you will also have had a good six months of living in the same place before started the wedding planning/preparation process. It sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Also, the best of luck with everything, and serious props to you for being able to communicate with an 8 hour time difference… I have familly with an 8 hour time difference from me and it is hard to find good times to talk with them.

 

[Anita_P]

I think this is important to keep in mind. However, considering the fact that you have said both this

This

And this

It sounds like you are planning on a small simple, easy to plan wedding, but still planning on getting married a year from now. So that sounds to me like you can accommodate everything everyone has been saying very easily. Planning a small simple wedding doesn’t take longer than the 6 months required for marriage prep by the Church anyway. So have him come over, spend 6 months getting to know each other better, and then, assuming you both still wish to continue 6 months planning your wedding and doing marriage prep. You will then get married with one year left at University, just as you have been suggesting, and you will also have had a good six months of living in the same place before started the wedding planning/preparation process. It sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Also, the best of luck with everything, and serious props to you for being able to communicate with an 8 hour time difference… I have familly with an 8 hour time difference from me and it is hard to find good times to talk with them.

Thank you.

 

[jlc2k2]

School should not be an impediment here. I was 23 when we got married, just before my last semester of graduate school. I did have one (unnecessary, just for fun) class that I let my grade skip on (think A to a low B - I still passed the class and had a high GPA). And my job probably played a large role in the distraction as well. I still learned a lot from the class and it hasn’t hurt my prospects at all.

 

[john1513]

Discern what God wants you to do. My wife and I got married when we had over a year left in college. We dated four years and the year we were married students was my most productive year ever (took 22 hours my last semester, engineering). We had the flexibility of the college schedule to grow closer, help each other, and adjust. We even got financial aid for the first time ever since our parents’ income wasn’t considered ours anymore.

If you’re called to marriage and you put it off, you’re putting off God. Some cultures have a habit of keeping young adults in school until their late 20s and putting off marriage until after graduation (advanced degrees included), stable job, new car, new house, extra money, etc. The sad part is women’s fertility peaks in their 20s and gradually declines from there. Also adults can get more ingrained in their habits as they get older becoming more rigid and less flexible to change or accommodating another person’s preferences. There are mental, physical, and even financial benefits as for getting married and having children early. Just be sure it brings you closer to Christ.