Joseph was an elderly man picked by a group of Jewish Priests while Mary was one of the girls who took care of the Temple. Mary started working in the Temple at age three. Joseph was to take care of her and they both knew they were not to have marriage relations. Joseph was a widower and had several offspring by his first wife. Mary knew she was to remain a virgin. When the angel told Mary she was to bear a male child and name him Emmanuel, Mary replied,“How can this be done, I know not a man”. She had no idea when the child would come. She knew that she was to remain a virgin. So of course she was surprised. No, Mary didn’t have sexual relations with Joseph or any one else.
I’m not so sure Joseph was “elderly” although I know traditionally it is believed that he was some what older than Mary.
Yes they did obstain from marital relations hence the title “Ever Virgin Mary.”
Ya don’t have to elderly to obstain and there’s plenty of “elderly” that don’t.
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