P
prodigalson12
Guest
Just a little bit of my experiences with her, and why I love her so.
I felt drawn to her outdoor shrine at first, even before going back to mass, I felt just called to drop by and visit her on a regular basis. I soon realized that she had plans for me, one of them to heal my broken heart, to show that she is very much my mother, even though my earthly mother completely let me down in so many ways, she would not. This realization gave me much consolation here, and even though I still try to keep in touch with my earthly mother, there simply never has, nor likely, ever will be any tangible bond between us.
As time went by, I really started to know her better, how much she has been there for me, watching over me, defending me in spiritual battle, and even though I feel like an outcast among the people at all of the parishes I visit, I know in my heart that she is with me. I just was confirmed Sunday, it seriously took me through a loop, I was in a group of people that were just starting their journey, barely participating in mass, and clearly, was not part of them at all, they didn’t even call out my name and the church I was from, parish wise in the process.
My parents did attend the mass, which was an answer to my prayers, sadly, did not stick around, neither were anybody from my parish there, and the reception, well, I did not know a soul there, so this momentous occasion being left with nobody to share it with, had me feeling quite down in the process., and until just a short while ago, had my spirits in a very downhill spiral. I tried to reach out to a few people, but it seemed they had better things to do, or better people to talk to, so opted to finally just leave after facing that much rejection.
At the end of the evening, I opted to listen to the youtube Ave Maria song, which is in my signature, I was using my tower, which was off line because I forgot to plug in the modem, and low and behold, it showed up perfectly, youtube in the address bar and all. It should not have done that, even if I set the system up to work in offline mode and to draw upon only the cache, I shouldn’t be able to even see a full page with no breaks, it’s just not possible, yet here she is, consoling me at the very end, showing consolation to me in my time of need, and this is not the first time something like this happened.
This afternoon, still in that dark haze of thought and feeling, not feeling the Holy Spirits presence “I normally feel it in a very real and strong way”, I was thinking that again, I must rely upon Mary, and let her reveal herself in my heart, that she very much is a huge part of my faith, and without her, I’m only left with a remnant.
At this moment, I realize, she’s just getting started with me, the milestone of finally getting confirmed is only the beginning, and that I should journey farther into understanding of her, of relying upon her, and with Mary’s help, my heart and soul is sustained. What she has in store for me, I don’t know, I’m still contemplating vocations at this time, all I know is that Mary is going to remain a big part of my life and that I must always remember to keep her in my heart and prayers.
I felt drawn to her outdoor shrine at first, even before going back to mass, I felt just called to drop by and visit her on a regular basis. I soon realized that she had plans for me, one of them to heal my broken heart, to show that she is very much my mother, even though my earthly mother completely let me down in so many ways, she would not. This realization gave me much consolation here, and even though I still try to keep in touch with my earthly mother, there simply never has, nor likely, ever will be any tangible bond between us.
As time went by, I really started to know her better, how much she has been there for me, watching over me, defending me in spiritual battle, and even though I feel like an outcast among the people at all of the parishes I visit, I know in my heart that she is with me. I just was confirmed Sunday, it seriously took me through a loop, I was in a group of people that were just starting their journey, barely participating in mass, and clearly, was not part of them at all, they didn’t even call out my name and the church I was from, parish wise in the process.
My parents did attend the mass, which was an answer to my prayers, sadly, did not stick around, neither were anybody from my parish there, and the reception, well, I did not know a soul there, so this momentous occasion being left with nobody to share it with, had me feeling quite down in the process., and until just a short while ago, had my spirits in a very downhill spiral. I tried to reach out to a few people, but it seemed they had better things to do, or better people to talk to, so opted to finally just leave after facing that much rejection.
At the end of the evening, I opted to listen to the youtube Ave Maria song, which is in my signature, I was using my tower, which was off line because I forgot to plug in the modem, and low and behold, it showed up perfectly, youtube in the address bar and all. It should not have done that, even if I set the system up to work in offline mode and to draw upon only the cache, I shouldn’t be able to even see a full page with no breaks, it’s just not possible, yet here she is, consoling me at the very end, showing consolation to me in my time of need, and this is not the first time something like this happened.
This afternoon, still in that dark haze of thought and feeling, not feeling the Holy Spirits presence “I normally feel it in a very real and strong way”, I was thinking that again, I must rely upon Mary, and let her reveal herself in my heart, that she very much is a huge part of my faith, and without her, I’m only left with a remnant.
At this moment, I realize, she’s just getting started with me, the milestone of finally getting confirmed is only the beginning, and that I should journey farther into understanding of her, of relying upon her, and with Mary’s help, my heart and soul is sustained. What she has in store for me, I don’t know, I’m still contemplating vocations at this time, all I know is that Mary is going to remain a big part of my life and that I must always remember to keep her in my heart and prayers.
I felt lonely sometimes before and after my conversion too, but you are right, Jesus and Mary are always with us and sometimes can use loneliness to bring us closer to them!