Mass for Dead (requiem)

[Saintlucy]

My mother is 98 and has been unwell for a long time. She is now in hospital. She is having the tests which are long overdue.

I know her end is coming soon and I want advice about what music I can and cannot have at her requiem.

For instance, could the Kyrie, Sanctus and Agnus Dei be sung in Latin. Obviously not the Kyrie, but you get my meaning?

I know that will be no Gloria and Credo.

If my friends in the choir could record themselves singing the parts of the Mass, will this count as being at her funeral. If they weren’t there, I mean. We are a small choir and most will be away. Also, I would like to sing a solo (the psalm) but on the day I know I wouldn’t be able to.

She also has a song associated with her. After the final hymn at Mass and as her body leaves the church, would it be OK to play this?

 

[PhilotheaZ]

God bless you. I know this must be a very difficult time for you.

Generally, recorded music is not used at Mass, nor is non-religious music.

Your best bet would be to discuss these matters with the pastor of the church where the funeral will be held. He is the authority. If he judges the song appropriate for Mass, fine; if not, you might have it sung at the funeral home, wake, etc., when loved ones are gathered but outside the Mass.

The Latin (and Greek) parts of the Mass are fine to use, unless the pastor forbids it. (I see no reason why he wouldn’t approve.) For the Agnus Dei, there are special words for funerals. Instead of
miserere nobis/miserere nobis/dona nobis pacem,"
the words at the end of each verse are
“dona eis requiem/dona eis requiem/dona eis requiem sempiternam.”

If you want to sing a solo but are not sure whether you would be emotionally able to do it, you might consider bringing along a fellow singer or choir member as “backup”; you might do it as a duet and just drop out if you need to, or she could sing softly in the background to give you moral support and “take over” if you have trouble. I did this for a woman who had to sing at the funeral of someone very dear to her, and it worked out well. (It’s much easier to do this if you have a choir loft in the back of the church and don’t have to face the congregation.)

 

[benedictgal]

My mother is 98 and has been unwell for a long time. She is now in hospital. She is having the tests which are long overdue.

I know her end is coming soon and I want advice about what music I can and cannot have at her requiem.

For instance, could the Kyrie, Sanctus and Agnus Dei be sung in Latin. Obviously not the Kyrie, but you get my meaning?

I know that will be no Gloria and Credo.

If my friends in the choir could record themselves singing the parts of the Mass, will this count as being at her funeral. If they weren’t there, I mean. We are a small choir and most will be away. Also, I would like to sing a solo (the psalm) but on the day I know I wouldn’t be able to.

She also has a song associated with her. After the final hymn at Mass and as her body leaves the church, would it be OK to play this?

Recorded music is not allowed during the Mass. It has to be live. Depending on the day of the funeral (Saturday), you may be able to get your friends to help you.

If the song is a secular one, you might want to save that for the Vigil of the Deceased.

You could very well have the parts of the Mass in Latin, in simple chant. That would certainly be fitting.

For my beloved paternal grandmother’s funeral, we had the Attende Domine sung as her body was brought into the Church. After the In Paradisium, we sang Salve Regina as her body was processed out.

If your mother’s funeral should occur during Lent, bear in mind that the Gospel Acclamation will not be the Alleluia; rather it will be one of four options.

I hope this helps. The planning of a loved one’s funeral (especially if it’s your mother, is never easy. I’ve been there).

 

[Saintlucy]

Thank you so much for your reply. I really knew the answers before I asked but I was feeling very tired and emotional at the time.

My mother is still with us and is undergoing tests in hospital. We don’t really know yet if her condition is down to simple dementia or if there is something sinister going on. She and I live together on our own and, as the baby of the family, we are very close.

I’m sure that when the time comes she will have a wonderful send-off.

God bless X

 

[PhilotheaZ]

Thank you so much for your reply. I really knew the answers before I asked but I was feeling very tired and emotional at the time.

My mother is still with us and is undergoing tests in hospital. We don’t really know yet if her condition is down to simple dementia or if there is something sinister going on. She and I live together on our own and, as the baby of the family, we are very close.

I’m sure that when the time comes she will have a wonderful send-off.

God bless X

May God bless you and your mother and give you both the courage to bear whatever lies ahead.