Mass of Christian Burial Questions

[Rawb]

My Grandmother passed away on July 2nd. I’m trying to be the one to help my family navigate the Catholic Burial Mass, since I used to be Catholic I know the priests at her parish and used to know quite a bit about the ins-and-outs of this stuff. I’ve forgotten some stuff, and a lot of this is stuff I’ve never had to deal with, but I’m sure somebody here will have the answers I need.

1. Grandma wanted to use a rented casket for her relics during a Memorial Service, not a Mass. She will then be cremated. The Funeral Home, one of whom is Catholic (so I’m assuming he’d know) is telling us that if there is a casket at a Catholic funeral there MUST be a Mass. Is this true?
2. I remember there being rules about the speaking of eulogies. I know that a traditional eulogy is forbidden, but I thought there was an allowance of some sort for a family member to say a few words about the inspiration and love felt for the family member - NOT to list their accomplishments. Is this true and if so where is this ‘remembrance’ allowed? If I remember it’s after the priest’s homily?
3. Is there a requirement for a Wake/Rosary and a Graveside? Grandma didn’t request either of these in her instructions.

Please, if possible give me the ‘laws’ about these things? I don’t know if they’d be Canon Laws or what, but I’d like to be able to defend Grandma’s instructions if it’s possible.

 

[Corki]

1. no that’s not true. I believe that if the body is present, it must be a funeral and not a Memorial Mass. Since deacons often perform funerals, which are not Masses, it does not make sense that a Mass is required.
2. The place for the family member to speak is usually at the end of Mass just before the blessing. Even better is to have this as part of the wake or vigil.
3. Wake or rosary is not required. However, if you expect lots of family and friends to attend, it is nice to have this for their sake.

A Catholic should always have a Catholic burial.

There is a book, the Order of Christian Funerals, that has all the “rules”. It doesn’t seem to be available online. Several dioceses have published their own guidelines based on the order, with references.

Here is one such publication:

diocese-sdiego.org/Handbook/Handbook_PDFs/Liturgy8.pdf

It’s California - not sure if it is close to your diocese.

Condolences on your loss and bless you for taking this responsibility on.

 

[Rawb]

Thank you very much Corki, I think you’ve explained the huge discrepancy my family is finding. Grandma was firm about wanting to have a Catholic Service, but also about not wanting a Mass ( I do not know why, I’m just following orders). She wrote “memorial service”. I’m realizing the difference between a Funeral Service (of which your church has two) and a Memorial Service. Grandma wants the Funeral Service Outside Mass I’m thinking (which is what we thought a “Memorial Service” was).

You’ve helped a lot. If I’m reading this all correctly I can find the rules about this in the “Order of Christian Funerals”? Is this a document or a book, and will my Grandmother’s priest have a copy of it?

Thank you very much!

 

[Corki]

Thank you very much Corki, I think you’ve explained the huge discrepancy my family is finding. Grandma was firm about wanting to have a Catholic Service, but also about not wanting a Mass ( I do not know why, I’m just following orders). She wrote “memorial service”. I’m realizing the difference between a Funeral Service (of which your church has two) and a Memorial Service. Grandma wants the Funeral Service Outside Mass I’m thinking (which is what we thought a “Memorial Service” was).

You’ve helped a lot. If I’m reading this all correctly I can find the rules about this in the “Order of Christian Funerals”? Is this a document or a book, and will my Grandmother’s priest have a copy of it?

Thank you very much!

I think it’s a book since it showed up on Amazon when I tried to Google it. The parish should definately have a copy and probably the funeral home would have one as well.

And yes, I think a Funeral Service Outside Mass is exactly what you are describing.

 

[Seatuck]

cuf.org/faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=262

 

[puzzleannie]

My

1. Grandma wanted to use a rented casket for her relics during a Memorial Service, not a Mass. She will then be cremated. The Funeral Home, one of whom is Catholic (so I’m assuming he’d know) is telling us that if there is a casket at a Catholic funeral there MUST be a Mass. Is this true?
   .

not at all, in fact most funerals here are conducted by deacons, whether in the funeral home or church, with or without a casket. The director may be confusing rules for whether a funeral Mass (not service) can be conducted with cremains present rather than the body.

you should head to the parish at the first possible chance, probably tomorrow morning, because they, not the funeral home, have jurisdiction over funerals conducted in church.

because in the case of need families may not be able to afford the cost charged by the funeral home to transport a casket back and forth to the church, or to a cemetery for committal, cremation may be chosen, with a service conducted by a deacon at the funeral home–this is order for Christian funerals outside Mass, not the same as a Wake Service, which may be conducted the day before.

A memorial Mass may be celebrated in the parish at any time without any remains being present, or even in another city, for the convenience of the family.

but a Mass of Christian Burial should have the casket present with the remains (sounds like the director switched it around).