Hi friend,
Know that you are not alone in your struggles. Also know that you’ll get through it. It is important not to lose hope. The road to recovery from pornography addiction is difficult, but God has given you the grace necessary for salvation. So find peace in that. Jesus said that to be His disciple, we need to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him. Your struggle with masturbation is your cross.
Pornography (and masturbation) is a grave sin because it distorts the view of the human person. Karol Wojtyla (later known as Pope St. John Paul II) wrote that the opposite of love is not hate but use. Use in this sense is when we use somebody as a mere means to achieving pleasure, namely sexual pleasure. Pray for those exploited in pornography. That will help you acknowledge their dignity. We also need to respect our bodies. Masturbation distorts the purpose of our sexual organs. Sexual desires are not bad. But they have to be properly ordered.
What can you do when you look at pornography or masturbate? First, make an act of contrition. Tell God how sorry you are and strive to remove all sin from your life, even the small things. Maybe you notice that you swear often. Try and eliminate that sin too. If we can do small things well, we can tackle larger issues. Next, be sure to try and go to Confession. Talk about this with your confessor and try to have a regular confessor who understands your struggles. That will help you out.
What is especially important is to strengthen your will. Addiction is difficult to overcome because your will is weakened. Try and do a daily self-denial. Maybe eat a smaller lunch. Or you can cut out snacks in between meals. It could even be as simple as trying and do one act of charity a day. But you need to try and be intentional with your acts. It will take time. Don’t freak out every time you fall. Make sure to get back up immediately. A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.
There are resources out there too. The Fortify app is free for teenagers and young adults. That helps you track your setbacks and victories and can help provide you with information. FightTheNewDrug is a helpful website too. Check out some of Matt Fradd’s videos too (Like his Man Talk). I would caution media access. If you find yourselves watching a lot of online videos or other media, I would recommend trying and cutting that out. That stimulates the same part of your brain as pornography.
I also want to say that finding an accountability partner will help. Covenant Eyes is good for this. I know that this can be difficult, especially in regards to sharing your struggles with others. You could talk to a priest about this. I know my archdiocese has a hotline for those who struggle with pornography. Perhaps you could find if your diocese has any resources. When you struggle, keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions. Find when and where you struggle and work to eliminate those moments.
I’ll be praying for you!
