Masturbation

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Sinner1

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Please help me. What can I do to overcome masturbation? I’ve tried all the advice that has been given to me by friends and my spiritual director, but I just keep falling back into old habits. Nothing seems to work for me, I’m just too weak.
 
When I was younger I masturbated very frequently and what strikes me in retrospect is how often I masturbated in order to *escape * from a difficult emotional state or to fill the frequent feeling of inner emptiness I felt at that time. Perhaps you could reflect on your emotional life and ask yourself if you are in some way unhappy? If so then what in your life would you wish to be different? How can you fill the empty place in yourself in a meaningful way? I have found that with this kind of self-reflection it is helpful to do it with a person you can trust.

Of course, sexual feelings are intrinsic to being human and it is natural that at times an inner pressure can build up that tempts us to masturbate. If you do succumb then, well, don’t be too hard on yourself - sexual maturity is a process and with some effort, a lot of prayer, and the unflagging attempt to be compassionate towards yourself you’ll grow towards it.

Remember: you’re trying to choose the good against the less good - genuine intimacy with another as against a loveless - if pleasant - physical experience. Perhaps you could think of your struggle not so much as trying to stay on the right side of a God who doesn’t want you to enjoy life but rather as an attempt to let go of something lesser in order to obtain something much, much better - to fully experience the joy that God wants for you.

I hope that helps.
 
Pray.

When the thoughts arise, “change the channel.” If the thoughts come back immediately, change the channel again. It makes you crazy at first, but eventually THAT becomes the habit.

The beginning part of the battle is always the most difficult. Despair and desire so powerful as to seem overwhelming cause you to give up the fight. You have a choice–give up, or keep fighting.

Keep fighting.
 
I have broken the habit recently, but it is always a temptation. I found that when tempted I say an “Our Father”, a “Hail Mary”, anda “Glory be” and the urges def subside. Good luck–I will keep you in my prayers.
 
You need to find things to keep you busy. The old saying that the devil finds work for idle hands is very true. Also, consider saying all 15 decades of the rosary daily. It’ll keep you busy and the prayers will grant you the graces that you need.

If all else fails, look at how the saints dealt with this problem. Not recommending that you go to these extremes but St. Francis took off all of his clothes and rolled around in the snow. St. Benedict went even further and took off all of his clothes and jumped into and rolled around in a thornbush. Afterwards, they were no longer bothered by this problem.
 
As for some people know, I’ve given my opinions and suggestions on this topic. However, I have been under spiritual attack on this issue for a few months.

I am thinking that since this is the time of Lent, for me, the temptations have increased with me. I am praying that the Grace and the sacraments will strengthen me at this time.
 
Find a way to embarass yourself into stopping. That approach worked for me.
 
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Craigmaddie:
When I was younger I masturbated very frequently and what strikes me in retrospect is how often I masturbated in order to *escape * from a difficult emotional state or to fill the frequent feeling of inner emptiness I felt at that time. Perhaps you could reflect on your emotional life and ask yourself if you are in some way unhappy? If so then what in your life would you wish to be different? How can you fill the empty place in yourself in a meaningful way? I have found that with this kind of self-reflection it is helpful to do it with a person you can trust.

Of course, sexual feelings are intrinsic to being human and it is natural that at times an inner pressure can build up that tempts us to masturbate. If you do succumb then, well, don’t be too hard on yourself - sexual maturity is a process and with some effort, a lot of prayer, and the unflagging attempt to be compassionate towards yourself you’ll grow towards it.

Remember: you’re trying to choose the good against the less good - genuine intimacy with another as against a loveless - if pleasant - physical experience. Perhaps you could think of your struggle not so much as trying to stay on the right side of a God who doesn’t want you to enjoy life but rather as an attempt to let go of something lesser in order to obtain something much, much better - to fully experience the joy that God wants for you.

I hope that helps.
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What a wonderful answer! 🙂
 
There is a really good website you can go to for support. It is www.trueknights.org. It is a place you can go if you are struggling with any kind of sexual addiction. There is a discussion forum that you can join and the people there are a really great support for you! My husband joined and he really likes it. Good luck and God bless.
 
If temptation to masturbate is a problem that just doesn’t seem to go away, perhaps God is calling you to a good Catholic marriage someday with the right person. Of course no one should rush into marriage just because of this problem; many married people are quite miserable because they married the wrong person. Also, be patient. Your physical desires will calm down as you get older. I remember struggling desperately with this problem in my 20’s. Now that I’m 55 and in a wonderful marriage, it’s not a problem at all. Also, stay away from sensual images on TV, in magazines, and online. Whatever you do, don’t give up practicing your faith. No matter how much you feel like a failure, stay involved in the Church. I gave up Catholicism in my teens and early 20’s largely because of this problem, and that was a terrible mistake. The farther I got from the will of God in my younger years, the more unhappy I became. I’ll say some prayers for you today. Don’t despair! Give it plenty of time… - Rob
 
A priest gave some practical advice about dealing with these temptations. Well, for one, keep your clothes on, even get a set of clothes to sleep in. And, don’t go to bed until you’re really sleepy, if that is the place where your temptation is greatest.

If it’s possible, try to become more active in spiritual growth, and keep something fresh in your mind to think about.

Also, try to objectify your temptations, for that is what they are. When you may be feeling an overpowering drive, try to keep perspective that that is what a temptation is.

We all have to resist many temptations. Think about how you handle other temptations and how that may give you strength to overcome this temptation…I mean, if you’re serious about this at all.
 
I would first have to say congratulations to you for deciding to overcome that sin. Too many people don’t even care.

Next, I strongly recommend reading and following Craigmaddie’s advice.

To that, I would add that works on their own usually aren’t works at all (because they don’t work). You need faith before you can have the works. Now you clearly have some faith that God doesn’t want you to masturbate. But I think that for all of us, sin comes because of incomplete faith. I know that if I really believed all the time that there were an all-wise and all-loving being up there giving out free advice, I would never sin. I only sin because I forget the truth. And I think the reason I forget is because, deep deep down, I don’t fully believe.

For me, overcoming masturbation required that I get more faith in the doctrine that it is a sin. And for me, that required that my faith seek some understanding. I studied God’s view on human sexuality a lot deeper, and came to understand why masturbation is sinful. That faithful understanding only increased my faith in the doctrine. And then the works came much much easier.

You can do it. I know it is possible. God bless you in your efforts to follow His law.
 
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Sinner1:
I’ve tried all the advice that has been given to me by friends and my spiritual director, but I just keep falling back into old habits. Nothing seems to work for me, I’m just too weak.
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Hmmm…maybe all the good advices here will not help you then. Keep us up to date brother !
Let’s help each other.

I use to think of it this way: testosterone and adrenalin intoxicates us. Like other intoxicants they tire us, exhaust us, steal our precious time. Give your body some rest. Pray to Mary, be with people all the time, enjoy the peace in not being intoxicated.
 
I would also like to add that anybody struggling with a sexual addiction can overcome it with the right mindset and by the grace of God. You have to take the first step to admit you have an addiction. Do not be fooled into thinking that it is not and that it will go away after you get married. My husband is proof that it doesn’t. Addictions don’t just “go away”. Please visit the trueknights.org website and start your journey to recovery, you will feel so much more alive. God bless
 
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