May I sell a ring from a previous engagement?

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dailymassgoer

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Sorry if this is the wrong forum to post this in…but I just want to do a quick check to make sure what I’m thinking of doing is okay.

I (27M) have a ring from a previous engagement with my ex – (24F) It was custom-made and I paid roughly 4K for the stone and the band. It has been 5 months since the split. We had the ring blessed and did the rite of betrothal. We had set a date for the wedding and after 6 months of being engaged, we broke up and cancelled everything.

About a week after our last conversation where we broke up, we spoke on the phone for a few hours and in that call, she remarked that I can’t sell the ring because it was blessed and she also reminded me I can’t use it on someone else lol. Is she right about the selling part? It’s been 6 months since the break up and I feel a lot more at peace now and I’m ready to move onto a new chapter of my life. But I just don’t want this ring lying around and I don’t want to set myself up for a future conflict with someone else.

I mean I realize she might be technically correct in the canonical sense that I can’t sell a blessed item, but the church must make exceptions for this. Thoughts?
 
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dailymassgoer said:
I mean I realize she might be technically correct in the canonical sense that I can’t sell a blessed item
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Of course this is nonsense. That would mean you could not sell your home after you had a priest bless it. Glad to hear that your engagement fell through. It would be sad to have to live the rest of your life with such a vindictive and manipulative person. Count your blessings and move on, and sell the ring without any qualms. And good luck finding a better match!
 
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dailymassgoer said:
Sorry if this is the wrong forum to post this in…but I just want to do a quick check to make sure what I’m thinking of doing is okay.

I (27M) have a ring from a previous engagement with my ex – (24F) It was custom-made and I paid roughly 4K for the stone and the band. It has been 5 months since the split. We had the ring blessed and did the rite of betrothal. We had set a date for the wedding and after 6 months of being engaged, we broke up and cancelled everything.

About a week after our last conversation where we broke up, we spoke on the phone for a few hours and in that call, she remarked that I can’t sell the ring because it was blessed and she also reminded me I can’t use it on someone else lol. Is she right about the selling part? It’s been 6 months since the break up and I feel a lot more at peace now and I’m ready to move onto a new chapter of my life. But I just don’t want this ring lying around and I don’t want to set myself up for a future conflict with someone else.

I mean I realize she might be technically correct in the canonical sense that I can’t sell a blessed item, but the church must make exceptions for this. Thoughts?
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Yes, you can sell the ring. It will lose its blessing, but you’re not selling it as a blessed item. Just as a piece of jewellery.

All that stuff about not being able to sell it because it’s blessed and cannot use it on anyone else is absolute nonsense.
 
Sell the ring with no qualms! Just do some checking around in order to get the best price. Rings are like new cars—once you’ve signed on the dotted line and left the premises, they’re worth a lot less. You surely got verification papers with it. Try to sell it to an individual for CASH—no other way—and give them those papers that came with the ring. It will be a win-win for both of you that way. Good luck with it! 😀
 
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She is of course totally incorrect. Get as much back as you are able, rejoice and be thankful that the break-up happened.
Agree with other posters statements also.
Dominus vobiscum
 
Had you given her the ring at any point and she gave it back? Usually, an engagement ring is hers to do with as she wishes. Since you are in possession, you are free to sell it. You might get it appraised to see what you can expect to get for it. Another idea is to remove the stones and have a new ring made if the occasion arises. Or even a lovely necklace, bracelet, etc. having been totally remade, it’s not like you are reusing the same ring. This is done quite often!
 
I gave it to her and we were engaged for six months and set a date for the following year. We broke up in Nov of '19 and she gave me the ring back.
Pattylt said:
Usually, an engagement ring is hers to do with as she wishes.
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Not true. In most jurisdictions, engagement rings are considered conditional gifts. In other words, the engagement ring is considered a gift under the condition that the recipient follows through on the promise to marry the giver. In our case she broke that promise and therefore, forfeited the gift.
 
Well, I’ll be! I never knew that. In my circles, the ring is a gift. I agree it comes attached with a promise but we always considered it a permanent gift like any other…yours to keep. Guess I’m wrong! (Not the first time either!)
Edit to add: most women do give the ring back but it was never required. It was considered good manners!
 
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I’m not sure what circles you’ve traveled in, but I think that the notion that a fiancée might withhold custody of an expensive engagement ring after clearly stating her intention to not marry the fiancé is legally absurd and disputable. No woman should have any legitimate ability to do that.
 
As I understand it, from a legal standpoint it depends on who breaks the engagement. If the woman breaks it, she returns the ring; if the man breaks it, she keeps it.
 
She may be confusing the selling of a blessed item with the selling of sacramentals. My in-laws owned a religious gift shop for many years and people often asked if the scapulars, medals, and rosaries they sold were blessed. They explained that selling sacramentals was prohibited. I can see why a ring used in the sacrament of matrimony could be considered a sacramental, but I would also say that it would be the wedding ring, not the engagement ring, that would become a sacramental.

I would certainly sell the ring and would NOT give it to someone else! Believe me, I know a situation where a friend gave his wife the ring he had intended for someone else and it hurt her terribly when she found out he hadn’t picked it out with her in mind!
 
That makes sense. I’m 67 yo so it’s been a very long time since I’ve talked about engagements and breakups! Perhaps the ones I’m remembering were cases of the guy breaking it off! What you stated sounds much more equitable and decent!
 
Of course you can sell it. You paid 4k for it it’s nonsense to just hold on to it for no reason.
It’ll probably be melted down or sold on to someone else.
 
Pattylt said:
Well, I’ll be! I never knew that. In my circles, the ring is a gift. I agree it comes attached with a promise but we always considered it a permanent gift like any other…yours to keep. Guess I’m wrong! (Not the first time either!)
Edit to add: most women do give the ring back but it was never required. It was considered good manners!
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If you break up and the woman wants to keep the ring, at the very least, she’s being scabby/stingy.
In Ireland anyway you just would never do that.
 
bluerose said:
I can see why a ring used in the sacrament of matrimony could be considered a sacramental
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It probably is a sacramental. But it’s slightly different in that, before it was a sacramental, it was a precious commodity. It’s not like a scapular that’s worth maybe €2 at most. First and foremost, it’s jewelry, any other significance comes from the fact that there is a relationship between two people.
 
Totally. I know of women who kept the ring after they broke up purely because the guy didn’t take it back. But normally most guys aren’t prepared to write off a few grand on a girl they are no longer in a relationship with.
 
I’ve heard that if a man proposes on a holiday that traditionally gifts are exchanged, like Christmas or a birthday, the ring is considered a holiday gift, so she keeps it.
 
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