Meaning of sexuality; Eureka, eureka!

[nablaise]

Ok. I have been thinking for a long time and meditating on this issue and I think I am finding something which I find liberating and balancing for my mind and heart.

I think I finally understood how a husband is called to imitate Christ in giving himself to his wife…
Usually we are used to the conceipt where man expect to get something out of sex in a such a way that there is a tendancy to use force and the case of rape is the most illustrating and extreme. I grew up seeing this kind of attitude where man ASK and the woman GIVE. This attitude is still present in Christians even thought the asking is more respectful.

Well, it seem that this attitude is really backward, well I had never realise that it is even the opposite of what Christianity propose. Christ GIVE to the Church and the Church RECEIVE. Or the Church ASK and Christ GIVE.
So if the Christian family is supposed to mirror the relationship of Christ and the Church, it is man who is to GIVE and the woman who is to RECEIVE or ASK.

I don’t know why I was so blinded not to notice before (sin for sure)…because even our bodies actually tells us so. Man give protection, confort, etc. but even at the deepest level, his sexual organ is designed to GIVE.

Perhaps Lust means this distortion which causes us to abuse the pleasure God meant for us to receive while giving and we want to enjoy (force) this pleasure without giving. Now, many pieces of the puzzle are falling in place. Many sexual practice which causes serious doubt about whether they are acceptable or not seem to be demasked. Most of them are about ‘stimulation’ as if artificially while the real act should be stimulated by pure love from the heart itself.

I mean, it seems that man’s organ is like a big nipple meant to be sucked by his wife almost the same way a baby suck the breast of his mother. So the similar tenderness, patience, and intimacy should be present. The woman’s sexual organ is like a mouth specifically designated for this purpose.
Now, if this is the vision of God and his pleasure, it becomes clear why the usual view of sex seems ridiculous and even funny at times. It is not really meant to be that way.

Now it is almost clear how the couple can/should reach orgasm at the same time…it goes back to the man exercising self control and putting his wife always first with love. And the wife orgasm is not to be forced or ‘artificially’ provoked, but she is to reach it whenever she is ready as she enjoys her husband’s love. It would also seem that she is not supposed to force it herself by any kind of disordered appetites…

This also show the role of man in birth control. It is not only woman who should worry about knowing their circles, but man being capable of self-mastery: removing the idea of ‘NEEDING’ sex, but giving their love in proper measure with the family situation.

Today’s office readings about the family seems to support this view, and I really like it.

Ephesians 5:21-6:4
Give way to one another in obedience to Christ. Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord, since as Christ is head of the Church and saves the whole body, so is a husband the head of his wife; and as the Church submits to Christ, so should wives to their husbands, in everything. Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed himself for her to make her holy. He made her clean by washing her in water with a form of words, so that when he took her to himself she would be glorious, with no speck or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and faultless. In the same way, husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies; for a man to love his wife is for him to love himself. A man never hates his own body, but he feeds it and looks after it; and that is the way Christ treats the Church, because it is his body – and we are its living parts. For this reason, a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one body. This mystery has many implications; but I am saying it applies to Christ and the Church. To sum up: you too, each one of you, must love his wife as he loves himself; and let every wife respect her husband.
Children, be obedient to your parents in the Lord – that is your duty. The commandment that has a promise attached to it is: Honour your father and mother, and the promise is: and you will prosper and have a long life in the land. And parents, never drive your children to resentment but in bringing them up correct them and guide them as the Lord does.

And the CCC

908 By his obedience unto death,444 Christ communicated to his disciples the gift of royal freedom, so that they might “by the self-abnegation of a holy life, overcome the reign of sin in themselves”:445

That man is rightly called a king who makes his own body an obedient subject and, by governing himself with suitable rigor, refuses to let his passions breed rebellion in his soul, for he exercises a kind of royal power over himself. And because he knows how to rule his own person as king, so too does he sit as its judge. He will not let himself be imprisoned by sin, or thrown headlong into wickedness.446

Now, I heard that sexual union create a bond which is not only emotional but physical as well. I would like to know what the produts of a man in his wife do beside (or in addition to) fertilization and also what a man get from the wife. I would really like to know much about this, I think this new discovery for me is very liberating. Many things are making sense…

 

[TLM08]

Ok. I have been thinking for a long time and meditating on this issue and I think I am finding something which I find liberating and balancing for my mind and heart.

I think I finally understood how a husband is called to imitate Christ in giving himself to his wife…
Usually we are used to the conceipt where man expect to get something out of sex in a such a way that there is a tendancy to use force and the case of rape is the most illustrating and extreme. I grew up seeing this kind of attitude where man ASK and the woman GIVE. This attitude is still present in Christians even thought the asking is more respectful.

Well, it seem that this attitude is really backward, well I had never realise that it is even the…

Perhaps Lust means this distortion which causes us to abuse the pleasure God meant for us to receive while giving and we want to enjoy (force) this pleasure without giving. Now, many pieces of the puzzle are falling in place. Many sexual practice which causes serious doubt about whether they are acceptable or not seem to be demasked. Most of them are about ‘stimulation’ as if artificially while the real act should be stimulated by pure love from the heart itself.

I mean, it seems that man’s organ is like a big nipple meant to be sucked by his wife almost the same way a baby suck the breast of his mother. So the similar tenderness, patience, and intimacy should be present. The woman’s sexual organ is like a mouth specifically designated for this purpose.
Now, if this is the vision of God and his pleasure, it becomes clear why the usual view of sex seems ridiculous and even funny at times. It is not really meant to be that way.

Now it is almost clear how the couple can/should reach orgasm at the same time…it goes back to the man exercising self control and putting his wife always first with love. And the wife orgasm is not to be forced or ‘artificially’ provoked, but she is to reach it whenever she is ready as she enjoys her husband’s love. It would also seem that she is not supposed to force it herself by any kind of disordered appetites…

This also show the role of man in birth control. It is not only woman who should worry about knowing their circles…

The mouth is designed by God to take in nourishment and allow communication through the spoken word, and the breasts were clearly designed to give nourishment to infants, yet the church permits a married couple to use these parts (or any other oriface)during sex provided he “finish” inside her where the act is open to life.

It would seem to me that a lot of church’s sex rules were established against certain practices (self-stimulation being the major taboo) because they are deemed “unnatural”. How in the world can that be given the fact that sexual activity involving the breasts, mouth and even the “rear end” is permitted? These body parts were designed by God for eating, nursing babies and eliminating waste from the body.

We are never going to figure out all of this sex stuff. People here are sincerely trying to figure out all of the rules, purposes and meanings. We are driving ourselves completely nuts with this stuff. I really don’t think God wanted things to be that complicated.

 

[chevalier]

It would seem to me that a lot of church’s sex rules were established against certain practices (self-stimulation being the major taboo) because they are deemed “unnatural”. How in the world can that be given the fact that sexual activity involving the breasts, mouth and even the “rear end” is permitted? These body parts were designed by God for eating, nursing babies and eliminating waste from the body.

There are popular beliefs in theology that some extents of self-stimulation in some contexts are permissible, most specifically that the wife is allowed self-stimulation if she didn’t have an orgasm during lawful intercourse with her husband. I don’t know to what extent the official teaching admits such a view. If I were a woman, I would not do it, although if the official teaching allowed that, I wouldn’t tell people it’s wrong to do.

We are never going to figure out all of this sex stuff. People here are sincerely trying to figure out all of the rules, purposes and meanings. We are driving ourselves completely nuts with this stuff. I really don’t think God wanted things to be that complicated.

I have a hard time imagining that, especially given that there’s a lot of intellectual debate, analysis and comparisons going on and much of it is beyond the intellectual agility of some reasonable persons. However, chances are we resort to rules because we are unable to defeat our egoism and we look for our pleasure or pleasure of the partner without looking from a perspective of love.

 

[nablaise]

However, chances are we resort to rules because we are unable to defeat our egoism and we look for our pleasure or pleasure of the partner without looking from a perspective of love.

I agree with you here. That’s why I think that some permissible thing are done because of the hardness of our hearts. We seem to be looking of what is allowed (liberal attitude) instead of trying to understand the Creator’s design and trust that it is the best.
The fact of relying of physical stimulation which seem that it actually lower us to animal level, we should go more spiritual. I think, climax should come from a spiritual communion rather than physical stimulations. Spiritual communion would involve all the process of abstinance, or deep and honest, and loving word exchange during the act itself. But how can people do that if they believe that the act have to be physically ‘heavy’, if all attention is directed to the physical, then there is probably no room for the spiritual, and that’s how deviations happens and more physical spots of pleasure are sought…

I think understand comes easly when we look at the whole issue from the perspective of love instead of that of pleasure.

God bless

 

[fbl9]

Ok. I have been thinking for a long time and meditating on this issue and I think I am finding something which I find liberating and balancing for my mind and heart.

1)I grew up seeing this kind of attitude where man ASK and the woman GIVE. This attitude is still present in Christians even thought the asking is more respectful.

Well, it seem that this attitude is really backward, well I had never realise that it is even the opposite of what Christianity propose. Christ GIVE to the Church and the Church RECEIVE. Or the Church ASK and Christ GIVE.
So if the Christian family is supposed to mirror the relationship of Christ and the Church, it is man who is to GIVE and the woman who is to RECEIVE or ASK.

2)Now it is almost clear how the couple can/should reach orgasm at the same time…it goes back to the man exercising self control and putting his wife always first with love. And the wife orgasm is not to be forced or ‘artificially’ provoked, but she is to reach it whenever she is ready as she enjoys her husband’s love. It would also seem that she is not supposed to force it herself by any kind of disordered appetites…

3)This also show the role of man in birth control. It is not only woman who should worry about knowing their circles, but man being capable of self-mastery: removing the idea of ‘NEEDING’ sex, but giving their love in proper measure with the family situation.

4)Now, I heard that sexual union create a bond which is not only emotional but physical as well. I would like to know what the produts of a man in his wife do beside (or in addition to) fertilization and also what a man get from the wife. I would really like to know much about this, I think this new discovery for me is very liberating. Many things are making sense…

1)as a christian in name only i held this ideal in that it is not the man’s place to ask but the woman’s,the man could suggest but not expect.

2)since we as human beings are a mix of spirit and matter the two can not be seperated.that said one can not experience the emotions of the martial embrace,without the physical part of it…
i don’t think any married couple enter into the marital embrace with the idea of not gaining any pleasure from it,

1. i agree with the idea of not NEEDING lovin.but entering into it with an idea of the other’s pleasure in mind.

4)you get "high"any married man who has mastrubated will tell you having sex with his wife is way better.

 

[nmoerbeek]

 

[nablaise]

2)since we as human beings are a mix of spirit and matter the two can not be seperated.that said one can not experience the emotions of the martial embrace,without the physical part of it…
i don’t think any married couple enter into the marital embrace with the idea of not gaining any pleasure from it,

That would be absurd. It would be like setting up eat with hope that food are not good…

However, the spirit can set up the right mood to regulate the pleasure according to reason and will. This the couple to do what it want as it want and when it wants. Self-control.

Perhaps this would be the ideal true freedom from lust…and real love at last

God bless