Med School and Marriage?

[LizG]

Here’s my not-so-hypothetical situaion that I’d like advice on:
If a girl were planning on going to med school, and she had found the boy she wanted to marry; but DID NOT want to be pregnant during med school; should they wait until after medical school to get married? They would not be “open to life” during med school. But I don’t see much of a difference between abstaining constantly for 5 years (ie not being married) and abstaining monthly for 5 years (ie being married). Both seem equally “closed to life”. Is one better than the other? Not wanting to have a child during med school would really honestly be the only reason to put off marriage; and that seems contradictory to a culture of life. Advice?

 

[JimG]

Marriage when one is just starting med school seems like a challenge in itself. It just doesn’t seem like the right time for it. Beginning with studies and going on to clinical rotations, there isn’t much time to nurture a relationship.

And once you get into internship and residency, is that going to be the right time to start a family?

Still, if you do marry, this would be a good time to learn NFP.

But I guess it can work. I know of a guy who after beginning a career in teaching, decided in his late 30’s to go to med school, and did manage to get through it; he was already married with two children.

 

[ames61]

LizG:

But I don’t see much of a difference between abstaining constantly for 5 years (ie not being married) and abstaining monthly for 5 years (ie being married). Both seem equally “closed to life”.

Not exactly. After all if one is not married and and thus not engaging in the marital act, then being open to life is a moot point. Whereas in the very act of marriage (in the vows) one testifies that one is open to children (though not necessarily at that very moment). So avoiding conception for a prolonged period of time for reasons less than “grave” is a violation of the marriage vow AND an affront to the integrity of the marital act.

That being said, it could be that pursuit of a noble career is a suitably grave reason, you would have to turn to your conscience, and possibly priest or spiritual director to discern that. I have heard of couples who have juggled children, med school, internships and residencies. Sometimes they choose specialties with more regular schedules (ie pathology, radiology) or take a slightly longer track. I’d see if you could find some good practing young Catholic docs or med students to pick their brains and to act as mentors. (I mean practicing as practicing Catholic, as well as practicing doc)

Good luck and God bless.

 

[puzzleannie]

LizG:

Here’s my not-so-hypothetical situaion that I’d like advice on:
If a girl were planning on going to med school, and she had found the boy she wanted to marry; but DID NOT want to be pregnant during med school; should they wait until after medical school to get married? They would not be “open to life” during med school. But I don’t see ?

If you are not ready to have children you are not ready to have sex, so you certainly are not ready to get married.