Membership

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I am a practicing Catholic and my wife is Presbyterian. We are married in both Catholic Church and Presbyterian church. Can I be a member of the Presbyterian church and still be a Catholic in good standing. When I attend Protestant services I also attend mass, do not take communion at the Presbyterian church, and if I became a member it would be for unity with my wife-in that I would not sit on session or other convening boards etc. so is it possible to be a member of both churches in good faith?
 
I am a practicing Catholic and my wife is Presbyterian. We are married in both Catholic Church and Presbyterian church. Can I be a member of the Presbyterian church and still be a Catholic in good standing. When I attend Protestant services I also attend mass, do not take communion at the Presbyterian church, and if I became a member it would be for unity with my wife-in that I would not sit on session or other convening boards etc. so is it possible to be a member of both churches in good faith?
I think you’re walking a fine line here. Catholics can’t really be a “member” of any church except the Catholic Church. You can go to services with your wife for the sake of unity. I assume she also attends mass for the same reason? I’d leave it at that though. I would be hesitant to call yourself a “member” or identify as a member of a Presbyterian church.
 
The question is: do you believe in the theology and teachings of the Catholic Church or the somewhat different beliefs of the Presbyterian Church? It is one thing to attend a Presbyterian service with your wife, but enrolling yourself as a member would indicate some degree of agreement with different beliefs. Perhaps you might read the conversion stories of former Presbyterian ministers Dr. Scott Hahn and Marcus Grodi.

Dr. Scott Hahn’s book: Rome, Sweet Home
website: scotthahn.com/

Marcus Grodi’s Coming Home Network:
chnetwork.org/
 
In general Catholics should not be regularly attending other religious services as members. Attending baptisms of family members as a guest isn’t problematic, but trying to be a “member” in both communities can lead to one being indifferent. You cannot be both Catholic and Presbyterian as they hold very different views on salvation. By joining as a member it is saying you agree with their theology and by extention reject certain Catholic teachings.

You mention going out of a sense of unity, but does your spouse attend Mass with you out of unity every week? You also mention being married in both the Catholic and Presbyterian churches. Not sure what you mean by that, but if you mean you held two seperate ceremonies that is problematic (but nothing that can be fixed after the fact). If it was done because your spouse or her family refused to acknowledge or attend the marriage in a Catholic church then it seems like the unity only goes one way.

It raises the specter of how you intend to raise your children. One of the agreements a Catholic normally needs to make to marry a non-Catholic is to do their best to raise any children as Catholics. Your spouse doesn’t have to agree, but is to be made aware of your obligation to raise them in the faith. By trying to keep a foot in both communities you are likely to loose them to Christ completely. When children are raised with differing beliefs and different views of the truth then they often simply opt out. It is difficult to tell your children that the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Christ if your spouse contradicts you and then you support that contradiction by faithfully attending a Presbyterian church. How do you teach them about Catholic moral teachings if their Presbyterian pastor is a “married lesbian” (allowed last year in PCUSA if I remember).

That is not to be doom and gloom as people obviously do make mixed marriages work. It is a cautionary post to be careful of making the “family” religion Presbyterian while trying to keep Catholicism your “private” religion. Unity is not achieved by professing things that are antithical to your “personal” religion.
 
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