Memorial Mass Gone Wrong :(

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PJD1987

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Last week I lost a dear friend, teacher, and mentor who was a de La Salle Christian Brother for 50 years and taught me in high school (link here: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=593824 for more info).

As I have moved away from where I went to high school, I felt very far away and isolated from being able to take part in the wake/funeral, grieving process of the whole community. To make up for this, I went into my local Church and scheduled a Memorial Mass in his honor for today’s (9/6/11) Daily Evening Mass. I also made sure I was scheduled to Lector for the Mass and I have been really looking forward all week to being able to partake in a small way, to do something nice for this man who I knew well and loved and respected.

Everything with the Mass was going well, except for the most important part!!! At the point where the Priest is supposed to insert the name of the person the Mass is being celebrated for…he just didn’t. He continued on with the standard, “…and all our departed brothers and sisters,”

So, I went to the Priest after Mass, (I know him well, like and respect him, and work with him regularly) and told him that I had scheduled the Mass a week ago and that there must have been a mistake and maybe someone didn’t write it down, or something. I asked if maybe it could be transferred to tomorrow’s Mass and initially he said, “Sure,” then he added, “I don’t usually say the name unless it’s someone who’s died. Usually I’ll just pray for the intention myself…” and then he went up on the altar to check the paper where the names are written down and came back and said, “Yeah, you’re on there, that’s my fault, but I will certainly pray for him, I’m sorry.” Now I don’t know if he or whoever says the Mass tomorrow will transfer it over, but I suspect not, I took the “I will certainly pray for him,” as a replacement for the Memorial Mass.

I’m a little upset, but more disappointed in this development. I suppose the Lord knows what the intention was, and some kind people (in the thread linked earlier) have offered prayers for him, and now the Priest will offer prayers for him as well. It may seem like a very silly thing, I mean, it is only a name that is spoken for 3 seconds in the middle of the prayer, but to me it was important. I wanted to do something nice for this man, my part in honoring his impact on my life and his legacy, and I feel like that hasn’t happened.

Should I maybe try another date again, or would this just take away a date that could be used for someone else? Should I maybe try another Church? I don’t know…I’m sad about it, I know it wasn’t intentional…I just don’t know… 😦

Sorry for venting, thank you for reading.

God bless,
Paul
 
As for me, I’d have another Mass said for him. It’s one thing for a priest to pray for him. It’s one thing for you and the rest of us to pray for him. THEN it’s a totally different and MUCH more powerful thing for the Mass to have been offered for him. It is much greater and more pleasing to God.

You know you can offer 30 days of Masses said for him if you really want to thank him. It well help shorten the duration of his stay in Purgatory, God-willing, if he is there.

Alternatively, you can offer alms to missionary societies online, such as the Seraphic Mass Assn. who will send you the Mass card as well. That way you don’t have to go through the same thing you just did at your church.
 
Are Masses announced in advance in your parish? In ours the names are announced before Mass by some priests, mentioned in the EP by others and in some cases never mentioned at all beyond the announcement in the bulletin. It depends on the priest who’s celebrating.
 
Phemie said:
Are Masses announced in advance in your parish? In ours the names are announced before Mass by some priests, mentioned in the EP by others and in some cases never mentioned at all beyond the announcement in the bulletin. It depends on the priest who’s celebrating.
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Yes, it varies from Priest to Priest, when he did not announce it at the beginning of Mass I figured he would mention it in the prayer during the Mass. As per his own answer he said he does not say the name unless the person has died, which in this case the person has died. So if he had checked the list on the altar, he would have noted that the person was deceased and therefore said the name. It just comes down to, he didn’t look at all for the Mass Intention.
 
After doing a bit of research, and I could be wrong, I believe the name of the person the mass is offered for should NOT be announced… The mass offering is for the priest only. Anyone attending can be offering their prayers for whatever they choose.
 
Phemie said:
Are Masses announced in advance in your parish? In ours the names are announced before Mass by some priests, mentioned in the EP by others and in some cases never mentioned at all beyond the announcement in the bulletin. It depends on the priest who’s celebrating.
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Names are never mentioned at Mass at our parish. They are printed in the bulletin only.
 
I’m really sorry this happened to you, and I understand your disappointment. I have started having a Mass said for my father once a month; these are never mentioned at Mass, just a notice in the bulletin. So you could know that the first two I had said for him, there was no bulletin - I guess they don’t put one out in the summer months. I too was disappointed, even though I knew God knew who that Mass was for.

I do hope you will have another Mass said for your friend, I think it will make you feel better.
 
Does anyone have a definitive answer on whether the name should be mentioned?

At both parishes near our house, the name is mentioned at the beginning of the Mass, is included in the bulletin, and is said aloud at the usual time.

I am so sorry about the disappointment. As soon as I post this, I will say a prayer.
 
Georgia said:
At both parishes near our house, the name is mentioned at the beginning of the Mass, is included in the bulletin, and is said aloud at the usual time.
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I don’t know if it’s correct but that’s how it’s done at my parish. Our priest announces the name at the beginning of Mass, before the Sign of the Cross. The bulletin fills in details: anniversary of birth, anniversary of marriage, a † if deceased, or nothing just the name.
 
Georgia said:
Does anyone have a definitive answer on whether the name should be mentioned?

At both parishes near our house, the name is mentioned at the beginning of the Mass, is included in the bulletin, and is said aloud at the usual time.

I am so sorry about the disappointment. As soon as I post this, I will say a prayer.
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I don’t think you will find a definitive answer because when then name is mentioned, if at all, seems to be a matter of local custom that varies from place to place. Our current parish prints them the week before and announces at the Mass, our former parish did not.

Here is some more info that may help: catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0812.html

No matter that the name is said or not said, if the intention of the priest was to offer the Mass for that person the Mass is offered for that person so they reap the graces.
 
TheDoctor said:
I don’t think you will find a definitive answer because when then name is mentioned, if at all, seems to be a matter of local custom that varies from place to place. Our current parish prints them the week before and announces at the Mass, our former parish did not.

Here is some more info that may help: catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0812.html

No matter that the name is said or not said, if the intention of the priest was to offer the Mass for that person the Mass is offered for that person so they reap the graces.
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Unless it’s a Mass for the Dead I don’t think the name can be inserted in all the Eucharistic Prayers. In the Roman Canon, yes, but not in the others and not at all in EP IV.
 
SwizzleStick said:
Names are never mentioned at Mass at our parish. They are printed in the bulletin only.
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It is the same at my parish. Mass intentions are published in the bulletin but not announced at Mass. Actually, I don’t think it is required to do either. In fact, the parish often receives more Mass inentions than can be schuled at our regular Masses. Those intentions are sent to mission priests to be offered.
 
JimG said:
It is the same at my parish. Mass intentions are published in the bulletin but not announced at Mass. Actually, I don’t think it is required to do either. In fact, the parish often receives more Mass inentions than can be schuled at our regular Masses. Those intentions are sent to mission priests to be offered.
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I am surprised to hear this to be honest, the intentions have always been announced before Mass at my parish, otherwise I would not have had the expectation. As someone else said, its one thing to have the Priest pray for it, and another to have the whole congregation pray.
 
Generally the name of the deceased is only mentioned in the Eucharistic prayer at a funeral Mass where the remains are present. The name would normally not be mentioned at a memorial Mass apart from the funeral.
 
Cavaille-Coll said:
Generally the name of the deceased is only mentioned in the Eucharistic prayer at a funeral Mass where the remains are present. The name would normally not be mentioned at a memorial Mass apart from the funeral.
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Well I’m a little more comforted, although it would have been nice to have the name mentioned at the beginning of the Mass as I’m accustomed to.
 
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