P
Pro-Life_Teen
Guest
I was going to post this in another thread, but at the risk of derailing that, I thought I would make my own.
There are massive generalizations in this forums- mostly subtle and not so subtle thinking that a man has to be told what to do, or nagged… “What if he’s an immature child?” and the like. Or perhaps that all men are secretly lustful beings, or using porn behind their wives’s backs [and so the wives are told to cut off the internet…]. The example I like to give here is cheating-- there are two old threads buried around in the forum logs. A woman and a man’s- they were engaged. The man cheated. He started a thread first, asking what to do. He said it was a horrid mistake, would never do it again, and it tortured him what he did. People comforted him, he was sincere in his apologies, and urged him to not tell his fiancee [he had already confessed, and told by the priest to be quiet about it]. But he did not wish to lie, and told her.
She, upset, wrote her own thread a few days later. Now people told her that she had to postpone the wedding, or even leave him. They said that he was an alcoholic, and that a cheater is always a cheater. The answers were so radically different that when I read through both sections at the same time, I find myself confused. For some reason, a man is at horrid fault when it’s his lover posting, but at times when he himself gets online, people back him up.
And from my time here, it’s usually women who write threads in anger about their apparently porn-addicted husbands when they aren’t having sex… but of course when a husband writes his wife isn’t interested, the replies usually consist of asking nicely “Is she depressed?”
Of course there is also the lovely threads, like where I wished to post something similar to this, about women submitting to their husband. Immediately at least a handful of women will balk at the idea, citing “What if he’s immature” or another excuse not to relinquish control of their household.
I know this doesn’t apply to all women on these forums, but it is often enough that I can’t read through these threads without being offended on behalf of men. For some reason, while men are toted as the Head of the Household in most ways, when it comes down to individual men, they are usually being berated. By their wives. On a public forum.
… Listen, shockingly, my boyfriend is immature
. He plays video games, goes to bed at 3 am, etc. But so do I- video games are fun, I can’t ever fall asleep before dawn and giggle at childish things too. But when we have to be mature, we are. It really isn’t that hard. I saw him recently- we’re long distance, he’s a Brit and I live in the States. I went there for a little over a week. The activities ranged from video games to going to the theatre as the best dressed couple that we could see. And as I was struggling a good deal with OCD at the time, I found myself falling into a panic attack every so often. He made certain I was alright every single time- he held me, he stayed late if I wouldn’t be alright alone, he humoured my stupid requests of hand washing a thousand times a day. And I trust him completely. Do I worry? Of course, I have OCD, it’s almost engrained that I’ll worry over stupid things. But it doesn’t mean that I think I know everything and my love is some sort of child that has to be told what to do, or else the house will implode. I did have to follow him about London, as I’ve never been, and unlike when I was the lead in Poland, we never got lost. And oddly, I’ve never really felt the urge to come online and tell a bunch of strangers that my boyfriend is apparently a moron.
There are massive generalizations in this forums- mostly subtle and not so subtle thinking that a man has to be told what to do, or nagged… “What if he’s an immature child?” and the like. Or perhaps that all men are secretly lustful beings, or using porn behind their wives’s backs [and so the wives are told to cut off the internet…]. The example I like to give here is cheating-- there are two old threads buried around in the forum logs. A woman and a man’s- they were engaged. The man cheated. He started a thread first, asking what to do. He said it was a horrid mistake, would never do it again, and it tortured him what he did. People comforted him, he was sincere in his apologies, and urged him to not tell his fiancee [he had already confessed, and told by the priest to be quiet about it]. But he did not wish to lie, and told her.
She, upset, wrote her own thread a few days later. Now people told her that she had to postpone the wedding, or even leave him. They said that he was an alcoholic, and that a cheater is always a cheater. The answers were so radically different that when I read through both sections at the same time, I find myself confused. For some reason, a man is at horrid fault when it’s his lover posting, but at times when he himself gets online, people back him up.
And from my time here, it’s usually women who write threads in anger about their apparently porn-addicted husbands when they aren’t having sex… but of course when a husband writes his wife isn’t interested, the replies usually consist of asking nicely “Is she depressed?”
Of course there is also the lovely threads, like where I wished to post something similar to this, about women submitting to their husband. Immediately at least a handful of women will balk at the idea, citing “What if he’s immature” or another excuse not to relinquish control of their household.
I know this doesn’t apply to all women on these forums, but it is often enough that I can’t read through these threads without being offended on behalf of men. For some reason, while men are toted as the Head of the Household in most ways, when it comes down to individual men, they are usually being berated. By their wives. On a public forum.
… Listen, shockingly, my boyfriend is immature
. He plays video games, goes to bed at 3 am, etc. But so do I- video games are fun, I can’t ever fall asleep before dawn and giggle at childish things too. But when we have to be mature, we are. It really isn’t that hard. I saw him recently- we’re long distance, he’s a Brit and I live in the States. I went there for a little over a week. The activities ranged from video games to going to the theatre as the best dressed couple that we could see. And as I was struggling a good deal with OCD at the time, I found myself falling into a panic attack every so often. He made certain I was alright every single time- he held me, he stayed late if I wouldn’t be alright alone, he humoured my stupid requests of hand washing a thousand times a day. And I trust him completely. Do I worry? Of course, I have OCD, it’s almost engrained that I’ll worry over stupid things. But it doesn’t mean that I think I know everything and my love is some sort of child that has to be told what to do, or else the house will implode. I did have to follow him about London, as I’ve never been, and unlike when I was the lead in Poland, we never got lost. And oddly, I’ve never really felt the urge to come online and tell a bunch of strangers that my boyfriend is apparently a moron.
You took words right out of my mouth!
