Men, women differ over whether mothers with young children should work outside the home []
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St_Francis
Guest
From the article: According to the most recent survey on daycare, 72% of Americans believe that too many children are in daycare-- a higher figure than 1988.
I wonder what percentage of children were in daycare in 1988?
I wonder what percentage of children were in daycare in 1988?
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ljubim
Guest
I’m of the other opinion… and I can say that most of the good Christian women who will be mothers in the next decade (in high school now
) really want to be stay at home moms. That’s the perfect ‘career’ for me:thumbsup:
) really want to be stay at home moms. That’s the perfect ‘career’ for me:thumbsup:
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puzzleannie
Guest
similar studies–and my department in my university actually published some of them–said the opposite in my day (60s-70s) when the majority of men and women both seemed to feel that a SAHM was a parasite on society and not contributing fully to the national economy. Glad some men are getting some sense. I know me and my comadres faced a lot of pressure to work–much of it from our own spouses and families.
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royal_archer
Guest
Young kids need a parrent around. It would be nice if more dads had the option. However when the kids are in school mom’s do need toget back out in the real world again.
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maryjk
Guest
Why?
So when the children are sick, she can’t take off and has to send them to school anyway? Or so when summer rolls around, she has to put them in day care for the summer? Or every day, when the kids get out of school, and she isn’t off work for a few hours they can be latch key kids?
Trust me, there aren’t that many jobs at the school so moms can work only when school is in session.
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Nec5
Guest
Housewives are in the real world.
The decline in morality should be ample proof of just how “real” it really is. The students I deal with that come from stay at home households or home schooling are nearly always better off than the others. It is a crime that many men and women do not have the option to properly raise their kids.
The decline in morality should be ample proof of just how “real” it really is. The students I deal with that come from stay at home households or home schooling are nearly always better off than the others. It is a crime that many men and women do not have the option to properly raise their kids.
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royal_archer
Guest
I was actually thinking that mom’s also need to get out of the house and interact with other adults. with FMLA it is very easy for the primary care giver spouse to take off with a sick child. Volunteer and part time work is also a great way to get out and about.Why?
So when the children are sick, she can’t take off and has to send them to school anyway? Or so when summer rolls around, she has to put them in day care for the summer? Or every day, when the kids get out of school, and she isn’t off work for a few hours they can be latch key kids?
Trust me, there aren’t that many jobs at the school so moms can work only when school is in session.
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jmcrae
Guest
I would have expected the opposite result, since in my experience, women work because their husbands can’t support the family on only one income.
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maryjk
Guest
In my experience, women work because they want all of the extras their salaries buy. Like larger houses, new cars, vacations and all the latest electronics.
There are women that work because they need the salary they make, but not in most of the situations I have seen. Please, ladies out there that work because you need the salary, I know you are out there, but that doesn’t mean that every woman that works, does it because she needs to work.
When this topic comes up, I always remember a friend of mine that sent her daughter to daycare even when she was off work, because she had to pay for daycare anyway and she needed a “break.”
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rtconstant
Guest
I agree. While I totally support a child having a parent around most of the time, and I think you do to, adult interaction is something that stay at home moms miss out on a lot. A part time job and volunteer work are a great way to do that. Also, a lot of husbands drop the ball, in making sure their wives get the proper attention. Men forget that while the home is a place to relax and enjoy yourself when your job is in public, the home is the “office” for a stay at home mom. A mom has the same intellectual needs as a dad.
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maryjk
Guest
That is something my husband understands. While our child was young, when my husband got home from work, he would change clothes and take care of his personal stuff, then come out take our child and shoo me away. It didn’t matter what else needed to be done that evening, every evening started with 30 minutes of Mom time. I could go for a walk, sit outside by myself with a book, the Bible or a rosary. Sometimes, I would just close my eyes for 30 minutes, decompressing.
He is and has been very thoughtful of making sure I get out and about with other adults. Until recently, I was a stay at home, home schooling mom with no outside job. I didn’t do anything for pay and my volunteer time was spent with children.
But it seemed that I spent tons of time with other moms or other adults. Now I have a part time job. Life isn’t much different.
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JanetF
Guest
Okay, I have a few things to say about this issue. I’m a working mom out of necessity. My husband is self-employed. I work for benefits, including health insurance, retirement, etc.
Just because my daughter attended daycare, does not mean that we are not raising her. It also doesn’t mean that she will suffer dire consequences having attended daycare.
The key IMHO, is to find good quality care providers that share the same moral compass that the parents do, so that they will all work together as a team to help in the development of the child(ren).
Of note, I would have loved to have stayed home and raised a house full of children. Apparently God has had different plans for me and although I used to feel a lot of guilt about working when my child was very young, I don’t think she has suffered at all. In fact she seemed quite happy to go play with friends on a daily basis. Now that she is older, I get compliments from people on how well-behaved she is, she gets great grades, she is being raised in her faith and is a very compassionate 11-year old.
There are so many other aspects of parenting that come into play when raising children, that simply doing the best you can for your individual family is what it comes down to.
I do realize that there are “career” working woman out there who sometimes make choices that I would not make and that’s something they will have to reconcile with themselves over time.
Just because my daughter attended daycare, does not mean that we are not raising her. It also doesn’t mean that she will suffer dire consequences having attended daycare.
The key IMHO, is to find good quality care providers that share the same moral compass that the parents do, so that they will all work together as a team to help in the development of the child(ren).
Of note, I would have loved to have stayed home and raised a house full of children. Apparently God has had different plans for me and although I used to feel a lot of guilt about working when my child was very young, I don’t think she has suffered at all. In fact she seemed quite happy to go play with friends on a daily basis. Now that she is older, I get compliments from people on how well-behaved she is, she gets great grades, she is being raised in her faith and is a very compassionate 11-year old.
There are so many other aspects of parenting that come into play when raising children, that simply doing the best you can for your individual family is what it comes down to.
I do realize that there are “career” working woman out there who sometimes make choices that I would not make and that’s something they will have to reconcile with themselves over time.
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maryjk
Guest
As I said, there are women out there that need to work for the salary, or okay, benefits. You don’t have a choice.
Those that work because they want to, but also have children should think of their children first. Because unless you have family watching your children, there is no one in the world that loves or cares for your children more than you do/should.
If you don’t have a choice, that is one thing, but if you choose to put your children in daycare so you can have the big house, new car or great vacation it is a totally different thing.
blackeye: Me ducking in anticipation )
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royal_archer
Guest
Once the kids are back at school though staying at home with no one there can get depressing. And I am sure women must get a culture shock trying to get back in the work force. But I think a lot of women need something to address that hole in the day. Volunteer work, ladies group, work, golf, what ever. I can tell a big difference in my wife between when she is just staying home alone all week and when she is doing something.As I said, there are women out there that need to work for the salary, or okay, benefits. You don’t have a choice.
Those that work because they want to, but also have children should think of their children first. Because unless you have family watching your children, there is no one in the world that loves or cares for your children more than you do/should.
If you don’t have a choice, that is one thing, but if you choose to put your children in daycare so you can have the big house, new car or great vacation it is a totally different thing.
Can you see this perspective?
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maryjk
Guest
I agree. Once your children are in school, if they go to public or private school, Mom needs to find some way to get out and about. That may be a part time job, volunteer work or some type of organized sport or group.
But when your child is a baby, depending on you for everything, there is no one like Mom. If you have to be at work, then you have to be at work. But choosing to leave your baby/child under 5, so you can have a big house/new car/nice vacation is just wrong. No ones loves your child like you do.
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Dale_M
Guest
I’m not sure, but the Christian Post article claim seems misleading, If you go to the Pew Research article, the graph is basically flat. Yes, the number of Americans who believe too many children are in daycare is higher than who believed so in 1988, but I don’t think the number is significantly different.
pewresearch.org/pubs/1360/working-women-conflicted-but-few-favor-return-to-traditional-roles
To put it in perspective, 75% reject the idea that women should return to their traditional roles in society, and most believe that both husband and wife should contribute to the family income. This attitude is strongest among the young:
Pew Research article:
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Maria65
Guest
These are just a few of my personal observations:
I stayed at home with my son until he was 4. At that time, I got divorced and had to go to work. My son attended a Montessori school until he was old enough for kindergarten. I have always made a point of spending plenty of quality time with him. I have been working as a legal secretary, which pays the bills but does not give us a fancy lifestyle. But, I work very little overtime and have nights and weekends off. It also provides health insurance (which his father was supposed to provide until my son was 18, but did not). My son has certainly turned out all right. I would have loved nothing more than to have married a man who would have been a good husband and father, and stayed home and had some more kids. But that was not to be. I thank God I have the one son I have. He’s wonderful.
One of my coworkers has 3 kids, 17 to 26 years old. Her husband is an attorney. She was telling me just yesterday she put her kids in daycare when they were 3 weeks old because she “had” to go back to work. Her oldest daughter went through lots of illnesses, which she attributes to being in daycare. My son, by contrast, suffered very few childhood illnesses, just the occasional cold, unless you want to count the head lice he got at the Montessori school. She has also expressed to me that she is a little jealous (in a nice way) of my relationship with my son, how he will talk to me about just about anything, when she has a hard time getting her son to talk to her at all.
My son also informed me that he heard a number of girls at his high school (a public school, not a Catholic school) saying that they wanted to get married and be stay-at-home moms. He was surprised, but in a good way, as he has indicated to me that he hopes his wife, when he has one (God willing!) would want to stay at home with the children. At least I have managed to impress on him that there is no more important job than raising children. His father, unfortunately, did not agree. I lost track of how many times he told me that I “did nothing all day” and that I was “worthless” and wasn’t “contributing to the family” because I didn’t earn a paycheck.
I stayed at home with my son until he was 4. At that time, I got divorced and had to go to work. My son attended a Montessori school until he was old enough for kindergarten. I have always made a point of spending plenty of quality time with him. I have been working as a legal secretary, which pays the bills but does not give us a fancy lifestyle. But, I work very little overtime and have nights and weekends off. It also provides health insurance (which his father was supposed to provide until my son was 18, but did not). My son has certainly turned out all right. I would have loved nothing more than to have married a man who would have been a good husband and father, and stayed home and had some more kids. But that was not to be. I thank God I have the one son I have. He’s wonderful.
One of my coworkers has 3 kids, 17 to 26 years old. Her husband is an attorney. She was telling me just yesterday she put her kids in daycare when they were 3 weeks old because she “had” to go back to work. Her oldest daughter went through lots of illnesses, which she attributes to being in daycare. My son, by contrast, suffered very few childhood illnesses, just the occasional cold, unless you want to count the head lice he got at the Montessori school. She has also expressed to me that she is a little jealous (in a nice way) of my relationship with my son, how he will talk to me about just about anything, when she has a hard time getting her son to talk to her at all.
My son also informed me that he heard a number of girls at his high school (a public school, not a Catholic school) saying that they wanted to get married and be stay-at-home moms. He was surprised, but in a good way, as he has indicated to me that he hopes his wife, when he has one (God willing!) would want to stay at home with the children. At least I have managed to impress on him that there is no more important job than raising children. His father, unfortunately, did not agree. I lost track of how many times he told me that I “did nothing all day” and that I was “worthless” and wasn’t “contributing to the family” because I didn’t earn a paycheck.
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royal_archer
Guest
Personnally, I am an advocate of one parrent being responsible for the income and the other being responsible for the home.
When I was a kid, most moms stayed home and Dads worked. It seems like when we were kids, as soon as we could walk we were able to wander as far as our feet/ bike would take us and we would spend a lot of time with friends and minimal adult supervision. And the mom’s tended to interact more. I see a tendancy now to keep kids issolated in safety. With such few moms at home, wives seem surounded by these empty shells of homes. Although there does seem to be a new trend for organized play groups during the day for moms to get a short break and for the kids (3-5) to interact with each other in a less controlled environment.
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