MERGED: Confession Resources/How to Make a Good Confession

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Hi! I have only been to confession once in my 15 years (it was amazing!)
Obviously, I would like to become more familiar with it. 🙂 Is there any websites or resources to help me? Is there a fixed form (i.e. rite) for the sacrament? If so, can I get it? My church has a laminated sheet with the prayers and everything inside the confessional. Or is only the absolution the same?

Thanks!
 
My suggestion would be to make your examination of conscience the focal point of embracing this wonderful sacrament. Build a routine of examining at the end of each day your joys and sinfulness. Go atleast once a month. At first you will think you are wasting your time but you will build momentum. I have been standing in line of first Friday thinking that I have little to tell Father, but suddenly some very important sins come to my atttention.

Just remember the value of the sacrament is not so much the form while you are in the confessional but the preparation and your avoidance of sinfulness after the fact…make it bigger than that.

Just my .02
 
Father Larry Richards from Erie, PA, has a CD on Confession that you can order from the Foundation for Our Hope website. It is $4 and a couple $$$ for shipping and handling. The presentation can also be ordered for MP3. I listened to it several times before I went to confession for the first time in over 20 years and found it very helpful. Website is www.thereasonforourhope.org. There is also a list of sins that need to be confessed on the website.

Father Danny Garcia has a presentation on You Tube (type Father Danny Garcia confession in search) that he gave for a RCIA class. It is in 15 short segments so you have to scroll around a bit. I watched this presentation several times and also found it helpful.

Hope this helps.
 
Thanks!
And Yes, the this is not about knowledge for knowledge’s sake.
Basically, I just don’t know how to make a confession:)
 
Here are some resources to help you make a good confession.
divinemercysunday.com/pdf/ConfessionGuide2.pdf

Here is a great Examination of Conscience.
fatima.org/essentials/requests/examconc.asp

More importantly, just go to confession, tell the priest how long it has been since your last confession and ask for help. If you need to take a list in so it will be easier and relieve your stress go ahead. Most priests are good confessiors and they will be thrilled that you are there.
 
Great recommendations above.

Prepare well, using one of the already mentioned resources.
Go in manfully or womanly…go in strong, and sincere
“Worst first”
Short sentences.
No beating around the bush…no whining or complaining or excusing.

Read in the Gospel about the prodigal son. He examined himself, did quick rehearsal, and then got down to business with his father.

Rinse and repeat often.

Over time you will develop a healthy sensitivity to venial sins…the big ones will fade away slowly. This is good.

So rather than focusing on acts of purity, you may instead focus on thoughts of purity.

Rather than confessing acts of complaint, you will focus on removing interior complaint.

Rather than acts of anger, you can over time start focusing on confessing things like “deliberately nursing resentment”.

The struggle never ends, but gets better, with God’s constant grace.
 
Don’t be afraid to ask the Priest to guide you. They are there to help and to teach. All you have to do is ask for help and they will happily walk you through making a good valid confession.

There are alot of good sites to help you determine your sins, but at the same time, there are also sites that make EVERYTHING a sin. I would bet that the Vatican website has a link to a good valid resource for an Examination of Conscience
 
SpiritFire said:
Thanks!
And Yes, the this is not about knowledge for knowledge’s sake.
Basically, I just don’t know how to make a confession:)
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I feel the same way. I just started watching the utube series suggested in this thread with Fr. Danny Garcia. They are quite helpful. Thank you to the person who suggested them.
I did my first confession this week & wasn’t very confident about the experience. Learning the history of the sacrament & how it changed after Vatican II is helpful in seeing that a “laundry list” is not requisite.
I did confess the one Mortal sin, I was most convicted by & then was bewildered as go if I have to go back 45 years to try and remember every single thing that if I had been confessing since childhood, I might have said if I was a cradle Catholic.
I am most excited about this sacrament & plan to make it a regular part of my practice
đź‘Ť
 
SpiritFire said:
Hi! I have only been to confession once in my 15 years (it was amazing!)
Obviously, I would like to become more familiar with it. 🙂 Is there any websites or resources to help me? Is there a fixed form (i.e. rite) for the sacrament? If so, can I get it? My church has a laminated sheet with the prayers and everything inside the confessional. Or is only the absolution the same?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
if your parish has an aid it is intended to help people with questions just such as yours, so you have the support of knowing what to do and say. Yes it is flexible, except for the words of absolution, but the essentials must be there: confession of sins in number and kind to the priest, including all mortal sin of which you are aware, holding nothing back, no prevarication; contrition expressed in words of your own choosing or recited from a formal prayer; absolution; penance. Having a printed card, or better yet memorizing the form and the act of contrition, simply reduces nervousness and aids memory.

I understand there is a new electronic app to help one with examination of conscience and preparing for confession. If I find it is solid I will recommend it to our confirmation candidates, who all seem to have been born wired with ear buds in any case.

By all means become “more familiar” with confession, it is required once a year that we confess all mortal sins (but like bathing, is best done more often) and required before reception of communion or other sacraments if there is mortal sin. Without regular confession there is little chance to grow in the spiritual life.
 
I just returned to the Church after a period of being away, and I am ecstatic. I’m planning on going to Reconciliation tomorrow and am feeling a little nervous. I know I used to mistake confession for spiritual counseling-which I know now is incorrect and is something that I don’t wish to repeat. It is unfair to misuse the sacrament and exhaust the priest’s time because there are sometimes others waiting also and priests are very busy. Help me stay brief, concise, to the point, and respectful of both Father and the other parishoners’ time:
  1. What are the methods you use to confess reverently and at the same time not to turn it into a long, drawn out explanation? How do you search yourself beforehand and know what you should confess?
  2. Is it okay to make a list so that I won’t forget anything and can stay on point?
  3. What is really necessary for me to say about each item-in order to be brief and concise?
Any tips are much appreciated! Thanks and God bless!🙂
 
Dragonfly55 said:
I just returned to the Church after a period of being away, and I am ecstatic. I’m planning on going to Reconciliation tomorrow and am feeling a little nervous. I know I used to mistake confession for spiritual counseling-which I know now is incorrect and is something that I don’t wish to repeat. It is unfair to misuse the sacrament and exhaust the priest’s time because there are sometimes others waiting also and priests are very busy. Help me stay brief, concise, to the point, and respectful of both Father and the other parishoners’ time:
  1. What are the methods you use to confess reverently and at the same time not to turn it into a long, drawn out explanation? How do you search yourself beforehand and know what you should confess?
  2. Is it okay to make a list so that I won’t forget anything and can stay on point?
  3. What is really necessary for me to say about each item-in order to be brief and concise?
Any tips are much appreciated! Thanks and God bless!🙂
Click to expand...
Wonderful. I too was away years ago and have made productive use of confession over the last several years.

hfchesperia.org/Sacraments/guide_for_a_good_confession.htm

I try to follow the “worst first” rule. Short sentences, no excuses, no windups.

Total sincerity. “I did x at least 1000 times, probably more”

Sure make a list…over time you might want to think about your root fault. Pride, vanity, comfort seeking? And you sort of dig into that area with a little more vigor for several months.

Mention type of sin and count if you can.

The first couple might be more laundry list oriented, but stay with it and start forming a “purpose of amendment”…the thing you most need to work on…and then that becomes the basis for a quick evening exam that you can do in your own home. How was my temperance today, Lord, help me review the day a bit.

What went well?
What didn’t go well?
What will you work on with greater attention tomorrow?
 
Dragonfly55 said:
I just returned to the Church after a period of being away, and I am ecstatic. I’m planning on going to Reconciliation tomorrow and am feeling a little nervous. I know I used to mistake confession for spiritual counseling-which I know now is incorrect and is something that I don’t wish to repeat. It is unfair to misuse the sacrament and exhaust the priest’s time because there are sometimes others waiting also and priests are very busy. Help me stay brief, concise, to the point, and respectful of both Father and the other parishoners’ time:
Click to expand...
Awesome! :extrahappy:
  1. What are the methods you use to confess reverently and at the same time not to turn it into a long, drawn out explanation? How do you search yourself beforehand and know what you should confess?
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It’s important to make an Examination of Conscience beforehand, so as not to “wing it” in the Confessional, and possibly take longer than necessary.

Simply identify: What you did, and how many times. Use plain language. The priest is not going to laugh at you, or be shocked - at least, not most of the time.
  1. Is it okay to make a list so that I won’t forget anything and can stay on point?
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Yes, as long as you destroy the list afterwards.
  1. What is really necessary for me to say about each item-in order to be brief and concise?
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What you did, in plain language, the circumstances that show how serious it was, and how many times.

Example: I walked off with my co-worker’s pen, causing her serious inconvenience, three times last week.

If it happened a long time ago, you can also mention the time period over which it took place, especially if you can’t remember how many times you did it.

Example: I was in the habit of lying to my mother every time we spoke when I was a teenager, from the ages of 14 until I left home at age 19.
 
Dragonfly55 said:
I just returned to the Church after a period of being away, and I am ecstatic. I’m planning on going to Reconciliation tomorrow and am feeling a little nervous. I know I used to mistake confession for spiritual counseling-which I know now is incorrect and is something that I don’t wish to repeat. It is unfair to misuse the sacrament and exhaust the priest’s time because there are sometimes others waiting also and priests are very busy. Help me stay brief, concise, to the point, and respectful of both Father and the other parishoners’ time:
  1. What are the methods you use to confess reverently and at the same time not to turn it into a long, drawn out explanation? How do you search yourself beforehand and know what you should confess?
  2. Is it okay to make a list so that I won’t forget anything and can stay on point?
  3. What is really necessary for me to say about each item-in order to be brief and concise?
Any tips are much appreciated! Thanks and God bless!🙂
Click to expand...
  1. I use the major first (usually these are my recurring sins, the ones im struggling with, we all have them, my root problems probably lie in pride and lust, but I am combating them), and then into the sins which haven’t been committed often, and more likely to be one offs (not meeting my sunday obligation for instance)
  2. Yes, plaese do, i generally do for the most part, and then i burn it, to symbolise I am free from the burden of them.
  3. " I commited X, Y number of times" sometimes the Priest will ask you to elaborate, this is to judge the severity of the sin, as once i believed i had been excommunicated laetae senitae, turned out i hadn’t been, but how i had confessed to it originally, made it seem i had been excommunicated, but the Priest asked me to elaborate, and turned out it wasn’t even a sin, jut my own scrupulosity.
And the biggest tip i can give you, DO NOT HOLD BACK ANYTHING, the priest has heard it all before, probably the very same day, and he is unable to talk about it to anyone outside of the confessional, and to you, else he is excommunicated, and has to be taken before the canonical courts, and 9/10 times, the priest forgets everything, everyone has confessed the second they leave the confessional (my priest calls it The Seal of Confessional Amnesia, God’s gift to Priests)
 
Dragonfly55 said:
I just returned to the Church after a period of being away, and I am ecstatic. I’m planning on going to Reconciliation tomorrow and am feeling a little nervous. I know I used to mistake confession for spiritual counseling-which I know now is incorrect and is something that I don’t wish to repeat. It is unfair to misuse the sacrament and exhaust the priest’s time because there are sometimes others waiting also and priests are very busy. Help me stay brief, concise, to the point, and respectful of both Father and the other parishoners’ time:
  1. What are the methods you use to confess reverently and at the same time not to turn it into a long, drawn out explanation? How do you search yourself beforehand and know what you should confess?
  2. Is it okay to make a list so that I won’t forget anything and can stay on point?
  3. What is really necessary for me to say about each item-in order to be brief and concise?
Any tips are much appreciated! Thanks and God bless!🙂
Click to expand...
It’s not necessary to confess venial sins, especially if you’ve been away for long time. The priest needs to know the frequency of the sins. You don’t need to explain the circumstances unless they explain the seriousness of the sin. That saves a large amount of time. If the priest needs clarification, he will ask. If you ask him for help, he will offer his advice. Good luck and God bless.
 
Remember one does not have to confess all of ones venial sins nor give any numbers for them (other venial sins can be still absolved when one is sorry for them…intending them…and they can be forgiven in many ways…but it is good to confess at least some.)

It is mortal sins that one needs to confess in number and kind…(and a circumstance that changes the nature of the sin…like the person you murdered was your brother).

One way…

I accuse myself of:

Murder 3x
Adultery 2x
Lustful thoughts 4x

and also ways I was not good to my wife, impatience, some neglect in my duties at work, lying, and intemperance in eating…and all the sins of my life …particularly those of anger.
 
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