MIL/Religious issues

[aurora77]

I’m not sure where to put this; it deals with both family and a sacrament. My mother in law has recently become convinced that, as a Catholic, I wasn’t properly baptised. She says that you must, must be immersed. I’ve checked the Catechism and know that isn’t true. Plus, all of the scripture passages she’s suggested I read deal solely with baptism, not the specifics, like immersion. We had a discussion about this tonight and I really feel like it didn’t go well. It actually ended up with her hotly saying “Well, you’re in God’s hands.” I feel like I should have handled this better and considered her opinion, except that I know it to be untrue. She’s getting her information about the Church from people at her church who used to be Catholic. Does anyone have any advice how to handle her? I don’t want to alienate her, but I also don’t want to deal with this. I’ve grown up in a protestant area, so I’m used to having to defend my faith; I don’t want to do that within my own family. It seems like I have a great opportunity for witnessing about my faith, but I just don’t know how to approach it; I don’t think she’ll listen. In many other areas of life, her opinion is the only one that counts.

My husband is incredibly supportive of me. He’s not Catholic, and has had questions, but enjoys going to church with me and is bothered by his mom’s attitudes. She got onto him b/c he tried to change the subject tonight b/c he saw I was getting upset.

Anyone got any ideas??

 

[Princess_Abby]

It sounds like you’ve “discussed” the subject to death with your MIL. Even your post sounds a little weary!

Have you referenced the Catechism to your MIL? Something non-threatening, like in an email, where she can click on the link and read it for herself?

If you are not interested in doing that and/or have already done so and she persists with her version of the truth, it sounds like your best bet is probably to start using non-commital phrases. Usually these end up stopping a conversation once the other person tires of hearing themselves speak and realizes they aren’t getting a dialogue, due to the other person not responding to the bait. When she says something that you would normally respond to, don’t respond. Just smile and look at her expectantly, as if you’re waiting for her to finish. Since the subject is finished as far as you’re concerned.

Let her say “Well, you’re in God’s hands now” all she wants. Agree with her! “Yes, you’re right.” “Thank goodness!” “Aren’t we always in God’s hands?” “Yes, isn’t it wonderful that our Lord isn’t bound by the sacraments.”

As for the rest of it, simply stop responding with an opinion. You’ve already expressed to her what you think–which happens to be what the Church teaches, so leave it at that. If she brings it up again, you might be direct and say, “I appreciate your concern. I feel like we’ve discussed this subject to it’s proper end. I hear what you’re saying and I thank you for sharing it with me.”

Good luck. MIL issues are tough.

 

[aurora77]

Thanks, Abby, I am a bit weary!! I think I will send her that bit of the Catechism. I just want to agree to disagree. My father in law is not the least bit concerned about my religion, it’s just her. Hopefully this will be the end of it. I do like what she about it being in God’s hands, because, in the end, that’s where it is.

 

[Mamamull]

Hi,

I am a convert to Catholicism from a family that worshipped in a conservative Baptist church. These people are still trying to keep women out of pants.

These people taught me many erroneous things about the Catholic faith. Unfortunately you are dealing with a mother in law that is from a sect that is all or nothing in their belief. They are usually unable to hear our “text proofs” and they really dislike the Catechism, although if they just read it they would at least know the truth about our faith.

When my parents and I had our final blow up, I was graced by the Holy Spirit. Pray for his assistance.

I just told my parents that we had reached an impasse and if any doors to our relationship were closed, it wasn’t by my choice.

Ask your mother in law what is more important to her – your relationship or convincing you that you are wrong.

When she told you that were in God’s hands, I would thank her for remembering that. Where else would you want to be anyway?