Minding your Business vs. Being Our Brother's Keeper

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Are there no boundaries when it comes to speaking the truth and correction? What about issues like divorce? Should we speak to a friend or family member considering a divorce, an abortion or engaging in an extramarital affair? What about reprimanding those who cheat on their taxes? What comments or advice should we give to parents about their rebellious or unruly child? Are we permitted to comment or critique their parenting - like they are too overbearing or too lenient? How much or how little of a say do we have in those that we are close to and love?
 
Fraternal correction is a delicate subject and difficult to practice. It can only be done in an environment of love. Love necessitated a relationship that involves trust, or where element of trust has been sufficiently established.

Without having a close relationship with the person, we would only be seen as preaching being holier than thou.

Often correction would be the last resort but rather winning the person’s friendship is of paramount importance. By allowing the person to see the spiritual value that you espoused is often more effective than just by preaching.

People tend to listen more to a friend whom they like and trust. They tend to shut off to whom who are seen as preaching or being seen as trying to be holier than them.
 
Honestly, I’d be incredibly uncomfortable casually commenting on another person’s personal issues. I know some people feel differently and believe if it is true it must be said regardless, it would be better to find out from friends and family than an outsider. Or that is worth losing a soul because you were tight-lipped. Don’t spare them the embarrassment if it’s truth because what’s more humiliating is being caught in sin.
 
My opinion is that unless it is somebody very close to us whom we know very intimately, we should mind our own business. And even if it is somebody we know intimately, we should be prepared to say our piece and be told to buzz off and at that point we should stop.
We can always pray for the person.
The amount of minding other people’s business that others seem to think is okay is astounding to me.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
The amount of minding other people’s business that others seem to think is okay is astounding to me.
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It astounds me as well. There appears to be a vast number of persons who feel qualified to go around criticising others and offering unsolicited and often unhelpful advice. These individuals seem to have elevated ‘admonish the sinner’ into their number one daily activity. Such persons could with profit, I think, examine the face in the mirror and direct the lion’s share of admonishment toward themselves. Here’s a tip: if, when ‘admonishing a sinner’, you find that your primary feeling is one of superiority and self-righteous pleasure at having corrected someone, rather than honest sadness at sin and a sincere and humble desire to help, then you are doing it wrong, and should probably cease and desist until you are more spiritually mature.
 
I think it’s important to ask yourself if you honestly believe you are helping the other person. I have many non Catholic friends and I rationally know that me lecturing them about their choices in regards to Catholic teaching would be a non-starter and would just alienate them.
 
Where is the line between evangelizing and meddling? I can’t believe people think it’s okay to lecture their friends on using birth control. What happened to respecting the dignity of the other person? I understand BC is wrong. Why tell another adult what they can or cannot do, especially if they don’t identify as Christian?
 
I thought admonishing the sinner was left to priests in their pulpit or confession booth. I trust them and believe they have less of an agenda when admonishing the sinner or speaking out against difficult/touchy issues.
 
I think it’s okay to mention it to your friend once if your friend brings up the subject. “You know the Catholic Church teaching forbids artificial means of birth control.”
If the friend says yeah he knows that but doesn’t agree/is going to use it anyway, you can shrug and say, “Well, your choice. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” And that should be the end of it between friends.

I personally would never discuss intimate details of my sex life, including birth control, with anyone but the other party involved (spouse, potential spouse, etc) and my doctor and if absolutely necessary, a priest or counselor. It is a sticky business to start discussing this stuff with your friends or even parents. It only leads to trouble and strife. Unfortunately this world has lost sight of the fact that some parts of our life are not for public consumption. Having said that, we all have one or two really close people like a brother or best friend that we tend to talk with and I guess I can see it maybe coming up in that context, but we have to still draw a line somewhere.
 
Is it worth to even discuss this to those who aren’t Catholic or let alone Christian? I’d probably dodge the situation altogether. I don’t why some people feel entitled to (name removed by moderator)ut their opinions in people’s sex lives. Maybe I’m different, even if they ask for my opinion, I’d rather not give it because like you said it will lead to strife. I think priest or pastor is better equipped for those situations.
 
If a person is not Catholic and has not shown interest in the Catholic view, then I don’t see a point in telling them what the Church teaches unless they’re trying to get you to do something against Church teaching and you say, “no, as a Catholic I am not permitted to do X. I don’t believe that’s how Jesus wants me to act.”

If a person is Catholic or has shown some openness towards Catholic teaching then I can see bringing up the subject once.
 
Jump4Joy said:
I thought admonishing the sinner was left to priests in their pulpit or confession booth.
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Not at all. ‘Admonishing the sinner’ is one of the seven spiritual works of mercy which all Catholics are called on to perform, not just priests. It is a delicate and sensitive area, as you might imagine, and the tendency to concupiscence we all suffer from means far too many of us concentrate on this one, due to the infernal pleasure it gives us in correcting others and feeling ourselves to be of a special, holy cast. We could with profit spend an equal amount of energy on the other six, which include ‘comforting the afflicted’ and ‘forgiving those who wrong us’.
 
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Pride seems to easily slip into that work of mercy. Some people think they are above criticism or correction, their lives are so well put-together so their next issue to correct and critique everyone around them. I should be personally appreciative that someone around me loves me so much to present all my errors to me constantly in hopes I won’t fall. I don’t think so. Some people abuse that privilege.
 
Yes, the same if someone tells you they want to kill themselves. You should speak up when a life is at stake.
 
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