Minor collision in a parking lot

[JSSD]

I didn’t give him the money yet, we swapped details and then booked his car in with the mechanic who gave us the quote. We arranged that I’m going with him next week when he takes his car in because he needs a ride and then I’m going to give him a ride when it’s ready too so he can pick it up and the mechanic is going to bill me when we collect it.

Whoa. This is honestly way above and beyond anything I would ever do. After going to the mechanic for the initial quote, I would’ve offered him a check or my insurance info and left it at that.

Point from above: you can’t make someone forgive you. You can be truly sorry and offer that, you can make it right (you are), but beyond that, it is out of your control. Try to let go as you can.

It’s his money if he wants to repair the scratch but I do think it would be put to better use if he could find some cheap paint and keep the rest, because it wasn’t especially noticable to me. It doesn’t matter though if it means more to him to fix it properly. He might be as worried about that scratch as I have been about bumping his car and it wouldn’t be perfect if he did it himself.

That is his right. Maybe he doesn’t feel like the hassle.

To the cost.
I was rear-ended twice last year. Both times did significant damage to their car (one totaled) and in both cases basically no damage to mine as they hit the receiver hitch on a 1 ton truck. In the case where it was totaled, I got a quote for probably about $160 (maybe $100) to paint the receiver. I never did do it. But that’s neither here nor there.

 

[RicciP]

It was just easier to do it this way I don’t think there is anybody else who can drive him. Otherwise he might not be able to get it repaired.

Wow it was so lucky not more of your truck was damaged, that receiver really did its job! Again I would have thought it’d be cheaper to paint one of those so my quote is starting to look quite good to be honest.

 

[Hobbes42]

Ricci, it seems you’ve been extremely generous and charitable in trying to make it up to the man.

It’s a small scratch, you are paying for it. No need to self flagellate or for anyone to be casting aspersions of “selfishness” or “resentfulness”.

 

[AHapka]

but I do think it would be put to better use if he could find some cheap paint and keep the rest, because it wasn’t especially noticable to me.

Perhaps in the olden days that would be fine. But modern cars have clear coats and paints that are massively different from other paints. They need to have corrosion and salt resistent properties, too. Not only that, but to be done right it has to be blended so it isn’t obvious (which is why they overspray).

Depending on where you live, it might very well matter if any rust gets on it. And you did admit that it probably will be his last car. It might be a simple sense of pride issue.

Honestly, consider it a life lesson and move on. I’ve done it myself. It sucked, I would have rather spent the money on something else, but if that’s the worst thing that happened to me…it wasn’t that bad.

 

[JSSD]

It was just easier to do it this way I don’t think there is anybody else who can drive him. Otherwise he might not be able to get it repaired.

You’re a good person. I hope you can let go of any guilt or feelings about his end of the forgiveness.

Wow it was so lucky not more of your truck was damaged, that receiver really did its job! Again I would have thought it’d be cheaper to paint one of those so my quote is starting to look quite good to be honest.

I agree.

It is an accident. They happen. I’ve driven enough miles to be on both sides several times. Sometimes it is emotional, sometimes not. Sometimes people are really cool, sometimes not.

 

[JSSD]

Perhaps in the olden days that would be fine. But modern cars have clear coats and paints that are massively different from other paints. They need to have corrosion and salt resistent properties, too. Not only that, but to be done right it has to be blended so it isn’t obvious (which is why they overspray).

This too. Last week I took a rock off my driver’s door (different automobile than the truck), I’m assuming. I didn’t notice it but my wife did and got me some touch-up paint from the dealer. Two part because of the clear coat.

I should have let the dealer do it, but it was tiny. Despite my best effort, I didn’t do the best job and am disappointed despite it being smaller than a dime.

 

[RicciP]

Thanks guys I am feeling a lot more positive about seeing him again. We were both really stressed at the time and it will be good to leave things in a better light.

“God only allows situations in life in order to bring a greater good out of them.”

I mentioned that I’m not really spiritual but I like to live by messages like this. I do think I will be a lot more prepared now if anything like this happens again, and I will be able to handle the situation and my feelings better.