Miscarriage Help

[expecting_dad]

My wife and I are facing a question we don’t know how to answer. 17 years ago we had a miscarriage. The doctor and clinic we visited kept the unborn fetus of 8 weeks. We were in shock and didn’t question if we did the right thing.

My wife is pregnant again and at about 6 weeks has severer bleeding and cramping. We don’t expect this pregnancy to go to term. I am trying to prepare what to do with the fetus if God calls this little soul to Him.

When is it appropriate for a funeral? We don’t what to draw attention from our friends, family, or our other 9 children.
How do we approach this other than the clinical view of “disposing” of the child?

We are praying for the right answer but also need some practical advice on what are the Church teachings.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

expecting_dad:

My wife and I are facing a question we don’t know how to answer. 17 years ago we had a miscarriage. The doctor and clinic we visited kept the unborn fetus of 8 weeks. We were in shock and didn’t question if we did the right thing.

My wife is pregnant again and at about 6 weeks has severer bleeding and cramping. We don’t expect this pregnancy to go to term. I am trying to prepare what to do with the fetus if God calls this little soul to Him.

When is it appropriate for a funeral? We don’t what to draw attention from our friends, family, or our other 9 children.
How do we approach this other than the clinical view of “disposing” of the child?

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

I cannot answer your question, unfortuately. Consider posting this question in the Ask an Apologist section, in addition to waiting for responses here.

We are praying for the right answer but also need some practical advice on what are the Church teachings.

 

[backhome]

I’m sorry you and your wife may be experiencing another miscarriage. I personally know that pain. I started hem. and had to go in for emergency surgery one Friday night. Sorry to possibly give too much graphic information, but my body was clotting at an alarming rate and there was no way to know where/when my child had birthed. I asked the doctor if I could please save any matter (I’m not refering to my child as matter) in case it was my child and was told I couldn’t…they had to send it to their pathology lab. If I had been stronger I would have insisted, but I didn’t. Actually, I think the doctor was in shock that I would ask such a thing and may not have known how to answer.

I did find this information for you…

“The corpses of human embryos and fetuses, whether they have been deliberately aborted or not, must be respected just as the remains of other human beings” (CDF, 1987, p. 35).

I would contact a priest and ask him how to go about giving your child the dignity he/she deserves created in the image and likeness of God, without creating the attention that you want to avoid.

I have said a prayer for you and your family.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

backhome:

I’m sorry you and your wife may be experiencing another miscarriage. I personally know that pain. I started hem. and had to go in for emergency surgery one Friday night. Sorry to possibly give too much graphic information, but my body was clotting at an alarming rate and there was no way to know where/when my child had birthed. I asked the doctor if I could please save any matter (I’m not refering to my child as matter) in case it was my child and was told I couldn’t…they had to send it to their pathology lab. If I had been stronger I would have insisted, but I didn’t. Actually, I think the doctor was in shock that I would ask such a thing and may not have known how to answer.

I did find this information for you…

“The corpses of human embryos and fetuses, whether they have been deliberately aborted or not, must be respected just as the remains of other human beings” (CDF, 1987, p. 35).

I would contact a priest and ask him how to go about giving your child the dignity he/she deserves created in the image and likeness of God, without creating the attention that you want to avoid.

I have said a prayer for you and your family.

That really sounds like the best answer, is to call your parish and talk to your parish priest. You can get an immediate answer.

 

[iserve]

You have every right to choose the disposition of this fetus, even if it must go to a pathology lab, you can request to have it back when they are done. You can have it cremated, or buried in a family plot, and this can be a private, simple affair, not necessarily a public funeral. A local, Castholic funeral parlor can direct you towards your options. Many of them are very helpful in these situations. You are in my prayers.