Miscarriage - What to do next?

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aroundwego

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Yesterday, my husband and I found out that we had a miscarriage at 5 weeks and a few days. We were supposed to be 9 weeks pregnant at this time. It’s heartbreaking and we know things happen for reasons we don’t understand. What’s even harder is having seen and known that there was a heartbeat at 5 weeks but then just a few days later, without our knowledge, it stopped. So now that it has been 4 weeks since the miscarriage, our doctor has presented a few options on next steps and we aren’t really sure what to do. What’s the proper catholic response?

Option 1: wait for the body to pass the fetus and tissues naturally. We want it to happen naturally but our doctor said we only have time to wait 1 more week. If we wait longer, I could be at risk for infection. Infection is bad in general but I also have some kidney issues and can’t risk putting my kidney or health in danger.

Option 2: take a pill to help my body induce the miscarriage and bleeding.

Option 3: surgically remove the fetal pole and tissues. A 1-2 day procedure. Dr says it’s quick as there is nothing to physically heal from.

Really not sure what is the best option here. Hoping you can help.

Please pray for us and our unborn baby, Raphael.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. Know of my prayers.

At this point, since you have already miscarried, there is nothing unethical about using any means to remove the fetus and other tissues from your body, and it is medically necessary given the risk of infection. So either doing so with medication or surgically is perfectly fine.

Please know of my continued prayers for you and your husband.

-Fr ACEGC
 
I am sorry about your loss. Our second pregnancy miscarried. My wife had the surgical procedure, was home the same day and a year later our son was born. He turned 19 last week.
 
At this heartbreaking time for you and your spouse, I offer my prayers and condolences.
About 10 years ago, my son and his wife had a baby stillborn. Only days before his due date. It was a truly sad time.
God bless you!!!
 
May God bless you and comfort you. We lost our first child at this stage also. We’d tried to get pregnant for a while; we were nearly 40 when we married. It was such a deep grief. Someone told us of a Catholic Church not too far from us that had a little chapel called the room of remembrance. It was very simple, a small room with a crucifix, some kneelers and a few chairs, and some hand bound blank books. People who had lost somebody would go in there and pray and write a prayer or a note to God about the one they lost. We went there and we prayed - in our prayer we gave the child to God. Obviously we didn’t have a choice, but we said Lord, we choose to give this child to you. We also wrote this in the book. We gave the child a name and embraced the truth that the child was with God. This more than anything else gave us release. We kept trusting God and became pregnant soon after. We have 3 now… May God so comfort you and deeply bless you. Praying for you.
 
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I’m so very sorry for your loss. I went through this last year, though we lost the baby a little later. I thought I was 17 weeks pregnant and found out she had died at 13+2.

Raphael never saw, heard, or thought anything contrary to Jesus. I hope that brings you comfort.

If the pill is misoprostol, I wouldn’t advise anyone to take it without being admitted into the hospital. The manner in which it acts is not… well, I was exceedingly grateful for access to an epidural. I learned later that you can ask to have the epidural administered before the first dose of medication.

If you choose to try and allow the miscarriage to happen at home and want to try and save his body for burial, Heaven’s Gain MInistries has a kit and guidance available to help with this.

Whatever option you choose, please be aware you have a right to the baby’s remains, and to a funeral Mass.

Praying for all of you, and asking my daughter to do so as well.
 
I am praying for your son and you and your husband. I will ask my family to pray as well.
 
I am very sorry to hear this. Do what is healthiest and least emotionally taxing for you.
 
I’m very sorry. I’ve been in your shoes. I lost my first two babies similarly. I have two young boys now. It comforts me to know that my first two are in heaven. They never knew the pains of this world. I named them with unisex names. I hope to meet them someday.
 
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