Missing a Sunday mass due to vacation

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Hi, Im attending mass every weekend (of course) as its my obligation to do so as a catholic.
I recently converted however and it’s going to be my first summer as a catholic and Im about to face some major difficulties attending one particular Sunday mass when Im away on vacation.
You see, Im 23 years old but I currently live with my parents and we’re going to travel together for this years summer vacation.
While this is a positive thing, it puts me in a difficult situation as I don’t drive and the nearest Catholic Church is an hour away by car.
So I guess Im saying that I’ll be more or less prohibited from attending that day.

I’ve already promised to join them on their Holliday and extra tickets has been bought in so bailing on them isn’t really an option.
So, my question is this: am I commiting a grave sin that day?
And is there a way to be released from my Sunday mass obligation for that particular day?
Is there any routines that should be followed in this case? I mean, it can’t be the first time the problem has come up.

Thanks in advance for any replies:)

Yours in Jesus and Mary
  • MarianCatholic
 
You can talk to your pastor ahead of time to be dispensed in a particular situation. This is important to do when you know ahead of time of a specific situation, such as what you describe.

If you find yourself in a situation without warning, you do your best and if it not possible to get to mass reasonably then you do not have an obligation. We are not obliged to do what is not possible to do.
 
The pastor of the parish at which you normally attend can actually give you a dispensation in advance, if you would like to seek one. However, I am not sure that is necessary in this situation. You are physically unable to attend Mass during that weekend, and the Church does not ask the impossible of us. It is not a sin to miss Mass due to circumstances outside our control.
 
This is a situation where a dispensation is typical, but you ought to talk to your pastor, since the situation is foreseeable.

For instance, he may instruct you to bring the texts for the Mass of the day, and try to use them when you devote whatever time you can to observance of the Lord’s Day. This is not an obligation when we are forced to miss Mass for whatever reason, but it is a wise and pious thing to do. (Besides, if you are used to going to Sunday Mass and are denied the opportunity, this sort of devotion eases the loss somewhat.)
 
MarianCatholic said:
Hi, Im attending mass every weekend (of course) as its my obligation to do so as a catholic.
I recently converted however and it’s going to be my first summer as a catholic and Im about to face some major difficulties attending one particular Sunday mass when Im away on vacation.

Welcome to the Catholic community! May you always feel happy and supported in our Church.
It is great to see that you take your belief so seriously. But it can’t be a sin if anything physically prevents you from attending mass. Anyway, it should be a natural desire and joy to come to mass, not so much an obligation.
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EasterJoy said:
This is a situation where a dispensation is typical, but you ought to talk to your pastor, since the situation is foreseeable.

For instance, he may instruct you to bring the texts for the Mass of the day, and try to use them when you devote whatever time you can to observance of the Lord’s Day. This is not an obligation when we are forced to miss Mass for whatever reason, but it is a wise and pious thing to do. (Besides, if you are used to going to Sunday Mass and are denied the opportunity, this sort of devotion eases the loss somewhat.)
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This is exactly what I was going to say. It is a great idea. 😉
 
This may be weird, but sometimes religious vacation too-- perhaps there is a mass somewhere, if you post something on the (I assume you are camping?) community board.
 
1ke said:
You can talk to your pastor ahead of time to be dispensed in a particular situation. This is important to do when you know ahead of time of a specific situation, such as what you describe.

If you find yourself in a situation without warning, you do your best and if it not possible to get to mass reasonably then you do not have an obligation. We are not obliged to do what is not possible to do.
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Don’t bother to contact your pastor. When something is impossible, it is impossible and no dispensation is needed.
 
I think others have given a great answer to the question about what you’re obligated to do in this situation.

My thoughts go to another “o” word - opportunity. I’m wondering if this is an opportunity to share your faith with one or both of your parents? If you were to say, “I really don’t want to miss Mass. You know how important my faith is to me, would you be willing to drive me to Mass? I found one (here.)” You offer that they could attend with you or wait for you while you attend. If they agree to attend it could give you the chance to say, “I have a resource for you on the Mass if you’d like it before we go.” (Personally, I like “The Mass Explained” CD from the Mary Foundation.)

I’ll note that you probably want to keep the word “obligation” out of the conversation so it looks more like, “I really draw strength from my faith and feel like something is missing if I don’t get to go to Mass,” as opposed to “I have a Sunday obligation and am afraid I’ll go to Hell if I don’t go.” Joy and strength are more attractive than fear and Hell.

Maybe there’s an attraction nearby that you could all go to together afterwards and it would be a nice day adventure.

Also, again not obligation but opportunity, you might ask around near where you’re staying to see if there are others going to Mass and inquire if you could ride along. DH and I were going on a cruise and ran into another couple who didn’t think they’d be able to go to Mass and we took them along with us. If we were staying in your hotel or lodging site, we’d happily take you with us to Mass. (Notice I didn’t say “campground,” I wouldn’t happily be staying at a campground. 😃 )
 
NFPWife said:
I think others have given a great answer to the question about what you’re obligated to do in this situation.

My thoughts go to another “o” word - opportunity. I’m wondering if this is an opportunity to share your faith with one or both of your parents? If you were to say, “I really don’t want to miss Mass. You know how important my faith is to me, would you be willing to drive me to Mass? I found one (here.)” You offer that they could attend with you or wait for you while you attend. If they agree to attend it could give you the chance to say, “I have a resource for you on the Mass if you’d like it before we go.” (Personally, I like “The Mass Explained” CD from the Mary Foundation.)

I’ll note that you probably want to keep the word “obligation” out of the conversation so it looks more like, “I really draw strength from my faith and feel like something is missing if I don’t get to go to Mass,” as opposed to “I have a Sunday obligation and am afraid I’ll go to Hell if I don’t go.” Joy and strength are more attractive than fear and Hell.

Maybe there’s an attraction nearby that you could all go to together afterwards and it would be a nice day adventure.

Also, again not obligation but opportunity, you might ask around near where you’re staying to see if there are others going to Mass and inquire if you could ride along. DH and I were going on a cruise and ran into another couple who didn’t think they’d be able to go to Mass and we took them along with us. If we were staying in your hotel or lodging site, we’d happily take you with us to Mass. (Notice I didn’t say “campground,” I wouldn’t happily be staying at a campground. 😃 )
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Dear NFPWife thanks for your reply:)
I see your angle on this, but I’ve already told them that as a Catholic Im obligated to attend mass every Sunday and holy days of obligation so I guess the “cat is out of the bag” already in that perspect:P
My mom however are leaning towards Catholisism and she started RCIA about a week ago (different setup in Europe than its in the US) so she would probably love to attend mass with me during the vacation, but it doesn’t help one bit as neither one of us drive.
My dad is the only one driving and with a one hour long way to drive at 0800 he simply doesn’t care enough about it to get up that early.
To be honest I don’t blame him as its one of the few weeks of vacation he get during the year and he isn’t catholic or anything (and he does not respond as well to the whole obligation part of it)
I think that for me to fulfill my obligation that day I have to take a serious fight with my dad to make it so and Im not sure it’s worth it really.
When Im vacating with them I think I’ll have to honor them and respect them.

I saw it was mentioned above that I was camping, that’s not correct as Im going to Denmark to vacate on a cabin/ lodge there.

As most Protestantic countries there are only Catholic Churches in big city’s such as Copenhagen, Aalborg, Aarhus and so on.

Where Im going is to the middle of nowhere so to say…

I guess I’ll bring the subject up with my priest a few days upon leaving.

Thanks everyone for good feedback:)

Yours in Jesus and Mary
  • MarianCatholic
 
I can feel your pain on finding a church for Mass in Denmark! I’m a convert too and I’ve missed Mass twice in 23 years. Once with pneumonia and once when traveling to Aarhus. I’d planned a layover in Copenhagen to enable me to go to Mass, but a mechanical problem and 12 hour delay in Toronto took down that plan. I was, literally, over the Atlantic for every Mass time.

If your mom is starting the process of converting and the two of you will be vacationing together in the future why not start a tradition where the two of you plan on attending Mass together while on vacation? This may not be the year to attempt it, but it could work in the future. If your parents involve you in the planning, you and your mom could look at where, near the vacation spot, you could attend Mass. If somewhere is far from your final destination, perhaps you take the train to a town with Mass the evening before, stay over there, attend Mass and then take the train back to your father. (I’d add a girls spa trip in that too 🙂 )

You’ve likely already checked, but www.masstimes.org is the BEST for finding a Mass. I’ve used it to plan how to get to Mass all over the world. One word of caution, I always call and double-check the times listed with the parish as the info doesn’t always update consistently.
 
Last Christmas our family was vacationing in Hawaii. The nearest church was about twenty minutes away. My daughter and I did not rent a car for this trip. On Christmas Eve, my dear nonCatholic brother in law asked me, very matter of fact like, what time I would like to go to Mass the next morning! He had looked up the mass schedule on the internet before talking with me. While I was at mass, he walked the block to the beach and saw a humpback whale and her baby!! It was such an awesome gift. I cruise quite often, and many times there are masses offered either in the wedding chapel or outside on one of the decks.🙂
 
kozlosap said:
Last Christmas our family was vacationing in Hawaii. The nearest church was about twenty minutes away. My daughter and I did not rent a car for this trip. On Christmas Eve, my dear nonCatholic brother in law asked me, very matter of fact like, what time I would like to go to Mass the next morning! He had looked up the mass schedule on the internet before talking with me. While I was at mass, he walked the block to the beach and saw a humpback whale and her baby!! It was such an awesome gift. I cruise quite often, and many times there are masses offered either in the wedding chapel or outside on one of the decks.🙂
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What an awesome guy!

For cruises, if we’re doing a week-long cruise, we go Sunday to Sunday and fly in Saturday morning, go to Mass, stay over, and cruise out Sunday. We’re disembarked in time for Mass on Sunday. In general, we fly in the day before a cruise because too much can go wrong in the traveling to the port and the cost of a hotel for a night is peace of mind insurance.
 
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