Missing Holy Days of Obligation

[AustinKindig]

Hello Friends,

  It's been a long time since I posted in the Forums, but today unfortunately seems like a necessary day to start. My friend, a devout Catholic, and the God-father of my son Giovanni didn't make it to mass today. It is the Feast of the Assumption and between school and band he missed the vigil and the two Masses this morning. I urged him to skip band practice and go to Mass reminding him it was a holy day of obligation. He wanted to go, but unfortunately his mother decided that his commitment to band was important enough to override the obligation, and because of that he had a good excuse not to go to Mass tonight. He is seventeen and very obedient to the will of his parents. It is my understanding that if you are commanded to sin by your authorities, then you must not submit to that command. Was I wrong to tell him that it was a mortal sin? Were his parents correct in saying the obligation to band is an excuse to miss Mass? Should I have told him to override his parents authority with that of God's? She thinks I am trying to guilt him into going to Mass to miss band, but I really do care about him.

Pax et Bonum, Austin

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Our commitments to the duties of our station in life sometimes mean that we must miss Mass on Sundays and HDO. You do not know the extent of your friend’s commitment to band or anything in particular that may have been happening at practice tonight.

It is also not usually a good idea to overturn a parent’s authority when that parent is acting within their rights and duties.

The best advice that you can give is for your friend to speak to his priest. Missing Mass tonight may not be a mortal sin in this case, and it is wrong for you to categorically state that it was. Whatever advise, counsel, or penance that the priest gives your friend is none of your business though, so please do not ask him what the priest said.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Hello Friends,

  It's been a long time since I posted in the Forums, but today unfortunately seems like a necessary day to start. My friend, a devout Catholic, and the God-father of my son Giovanni didn't make it to mass today. It is the Feast of the Assumption and between school and band he missed the vigil and the two Masses this morning. I urged him to skip band practice and go to Mass reminding him it was a holy day of obligation. He wanted to go, but unfortunately his mother decided that his commitment to band was important enough to override the obligation, and because of that he had a good excuse not to go to Mass tonight. He is seventeen and very obedient to the will of his parents. It is my understanding that if you are commanded to sin by your authorities, then you must not submit to that command. Was I wrong to tell him that it was a mortal sin? Were his parents correct in saying the obligation to band is an excuse to miss Mass? Should I have told him to override his parents authority with that of God's? She thinks I am trying to guilt him into going to Mass to miss band, but I really do care about him.

Pax et Bonum, Austin

His parents were absolutely wrong. Your reminding him that it is a mortal sin to miss Mass without a valid reason may have been wrong. You were asking him to choose between his parents’ wish/advice and yours. Not a good thing to do usually. You acted in good faith so at worst your action was an act of poor judgment - no sin. You should not have done it unless you had reason to think he would listen to you or you thought could ignore the wishes of his parents without any repercussions. I wouldn’t worry about it. But I would think twice before doing anything like it in the future. You could talk it over with you pastor, he may have a different view.

There may be more to this story that you haven’t told. So I am just judging on the few facts you have given.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

A mortal sin requires full knowledge and intent. This doesn’t sound like the case with your friend missing Mass. The sin is venial at best IMO.

 

[robwar]

Hello Friends,

  It's been a long time since I posted in the Forums, but today unfortunately seems like a necessary day to start. My friend, a devout Catholic, and the God-father of my son Giovanni didn't make it to mass today. It is the Feast of the Assumption and between school and band he missed the vigil and the two Masses this morning. I urged him to skip band practice and go to Mass reminding him it was a holy day of obligation. He wanted to go, but unfortunately his mother decided that his commitment to band was important enough to override the obligation, and because of that he had a good excuse not to go to Mass tonight. He is seventeen and very obedient to the will of his parents. It is my understanding that if you are commanded to sin by your authorities, then you must not submit to that command. Was I wrong to tell him that it was a mortal sin? Were his parents correct in saying the obligation to band is an excuse to miss Mass? Should I have told him to override his parents authority with that of God's? She thinks I am trying to guilt him into going to Mass to miss band, but I really do care about him.

Pax et Bonum, Austin

It is nice to remind and be concern about your child’s godparent but it is not your place to overstep his parents authority and what they decided to do. That is between them and their priest. You need to let go of it. This time of year is tough because a number of school things are starting and even if it is a obligation day, I do think mass times are limited to accomodate different schedules. express your care for praying for them, not in telling him he is in mortal sin for a schedule conflict and the decision of his parents.