Missing Men and the Biolgical Clock

[JimG]

A single woman reflects on the phenomenon of “missing men,” and offers some advice.

In public policy debates, it’s often assumed that women freeze their eggs in order to put off childbearing during the prime time of their careers. According to new research, however, more and more educated and successful women are choosing to freeze their eggs because they cannot find a man they want to marry. Many men are “missing” from higher education, work, and church – and are just not marriageable.
. . .
It is easy to become disheartened – even to despair – about the apparent lack of marriageable men in our culture. I’ve met many beautiful and intelligent single women who are worried they will never get married or they will get married too late to have children. They are willing to leave their careers behind in order to be a wife and mother, yet they simply cannot find the right man.

Continued here:
thecatholicthing.org/2017/08/25/missing-men-and-the-ticking-biological-clock/

 

[Catholic1954]

As El Rushbo has pointed out, the men in our culture have become “chickafied” and now no one wants to marry them.

 

[HerCrazierHalf]

Perhaps a large number of men do not see a practical benefit in marriage or long term relationships in their twenties. I know I didn’t.

 

[JimG]

Perhaps a large number of men do not see a practical benefit in marriage or long term relationships in their twenties. I know I didn’t.

I think that’s the case. People are still trying to ‘find themselves’ in their 20’s, whereas they used to get married in their 20’s. But not everyone. Two of my nieces got married in their early twenties, right out of college. But they found the right guys. Still, according to the article, lack of marriageable men seems to be a big problem.

 

[Norseman82]

Promoting singleness as a “vocation” does not help.

Additionally, many men are thinking the same thoughts to themselves, and find that there are not a lot of marriageable women, so it goes both ways.

Mary Beth Bonacci had an article stating that most people are called to marriage, but are having a harder time finding a spouse because of the poisoned dating pool:

catholicexchange.com/is-the-single-life-a-vocation

Additionally, I don’t find it helpful (in fact, I find it downright sickening) that Miss Logan says that God “may be asking us to suffer for the sins of the sexual revolution”.

 

[Norseman82]

As El Rushbo has pointed out, the men in our culture have become “chickafied” and now no one wants to marry them.

I wonder how much of that can be attributed to the poisoning of our water supplies due to women taking birth control pills?

 

[Anglewannabe]

I found the whole article out of touch with reality

‘This is something new to our generation. It never occurred to my mother and her friends that they would never find a spouse. Most of them were happily married by their mid-twenties.’

Am I suppose to believe that women in previous generation were never scared they be an old maid? I can’t help but think it is the opposite. Women in those generations had no option but to marry so they probably worried more

I also find that she was being very degrading to men. Insisting that since women have careers men are no longer marriage material

At one point in her article she suggests the best thing to do is God’s will. I agree with that 100%. If everyone is doing God’s will, the average age for marriage at anytime in histroy is kind of irrelevant

 

[Norseman82]

Waiting for my stalker to respond with biting comments in 3…2…1…

 

[NonTimendum]

Wow you mean when you make marriage a horrible investment and encourage women to spend their prime on “careers” and cheap thrills with bad boys it might cause men to withdraw from the marriage game and reorder themselves according to the new paradigm?

Shocker! You know what though? I bet the best solution is to double down on feminism, lay all the blame on men and even further encourage women to waste their fertile years.

Make sure to throw in a few "Man Up!!!"s for maximum effect!

 

[PelagiathePenit]

A single woman reflects on the phenomenon of “missing men,” and offers some advice.

In public policy debates, it’s often assumed that women freeze their eggs in order to put off childbearing during the prime time of their careers. According to new research, however, more and more educated and successful women are choosing to freeze their eggs because they cannot find a man they want to marry. Many men are “missing” from higher education, work, and church – and are just not marriageable.
. . .
It is easy to become disheartened – even to despair – about the apparent lack of marriageable men in our culture. I’ve met many beautiful and intelligent single women who are worried they will never get married or they will get married too late to have children. They are willing to leave their careers behind in order to be a wife and mother, yet they simply cannot find the right man.

Continued here:
thecatholicthing.org/2017/08/25/missing-men-and-the-ticking-biological-clock/

In our most fertile years, men my age are more immature or just not ready to settle down and have a family. I’m sure there are some. Plenty of the couples I knew married in their early twenties didn’t last. This may be a mistake, but I’ll wait to have children in my early thirties when I complete with my career and independent enough that if my marriage fails I’m financially secure. I plan on dating older men anyway. If all else fails, there is God, aren’t we supposed to live our lives according to God’s planning? There are women I knew who finally got married in their 40s and conceived naturally. Anything is possible with God, right?

 

[Anglewannabe]

Come to think about it, what is so wrong with women marrying later and having few children?

 

[Sarcelle]

Promoting singleness as a “vocation” does not help.

Additionally, many men are thinking the same thoughts to themselves, and find that there are not a lot of marriageable women, so it goes both ways.

Mary Beth Bonacci had an article stating that most people are called to marriage, but are having a harder time finding a spouse because of the poisoned dating pool:

catholicexchange.com/is-the-single-life-a-vocation

Additionally, I don’t find it helpful (in fact, I find it downright sickening) that Miss Logan says that God “may be asking us to suffer for the sins of the sexual revolution”.

Yes.

The whole concept of suffering for the sins of the sexual revolution does leave one with a bad taste.

Frankly, I think it is downright hard hearted to tell that to a lonely person who is yearning to get married.

 

[joeybaggz]

In our most fertile years, men my age are more immature or just not ready to settle down and have a family.

Thank fifty years of radical feminism, the goddess of the liberal media, for destroying the image and definition of what it means to be a man, and a father. John Wayne and Marshall Dillon have been replaced by Homer Simpson and Peter Griffiin. And many of the single men of today take after Bart.

I’m sure there are some. Plenty of the couples I knew married in their early twenties didn’t last.

Generally when there is no solid Judeo-Christian foundation at the heart of a marriage, something that the left has thrown under the bus, then better than 50% of marriages these days fail.

This may be a mistake, but I’ll wait to have children in my early thirties when I complete with my career and independent enough that if my marriage fails I’m financially secure.?

Good plan ,… then again, failure is a self fulfilling prophesy.

“Chickafied” - good one Rush. These are the young men that feminism has given birth to. A weak willed, spineless, directionless, man-child whose masculinity has been neutered by the will of those women who are so insecure and afraid of the rough and tumble world in which we live that they bleached out the inherent and traditional assertive nature of young men and now cry over the vapid, self apologetic, hand wringing products of their efforts.

Good luck

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Not sure where all these women are looking who can’t find marriageable men, unless they are expecting the man to come with a big six or seven figure income, degrees from Ivy League schools, and a profession such as “doctor” or “investment banker”.

The vast, vast majority of women I have known in my life have been married, some of them more than once.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Perhaps a large number of men do not see a practical benefit in marriage or long term relationships in their twenties. I know I didn’t.

I’m a woman and I didn’t see any practical benefit in those things in my twenties either, so I wouldn’t blame a man for feeling the same way, especially nowadays when a lot of people don’t even get done with college till they are 23 or 24 or 25.

My mother also encouraged me and the young men in the family (her nephews) to wait until we were past 30 to “settle down”, as she did. Seems to have worked out well for all of us.

 

[PelagiathePenit]

Good plan,… then again, failure is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“Chickafied” - good one Rush. These are the young men that feminism has given birth to. A weak willed, spineless, directionless, man-child whose masculinity has been neutered by the will of those women who are so insecure and afraid of the rough and tumble world in which we live that they bleached out the inherent and traditional assertive nature of young men and now cry over the vapid, self-apologetic, hand wringing products of their efforts.

Good luck

Posts like these seriously make me question why I go on CAF. Any issue about race or gender tends to get very nasty on here. As a product of divorce, divorce is a very real reality. I’m a hopeless romantic or naive realism if I believe marriage will last forever or I’m a self-fulfilling pessimistic if I prepare for divorce or believe it is a possibility. Whatever?!!!
I guess self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing.

 

[on_the_hill]

I wonder how much of that can be attributed to the poisoning of our water supplies due to women taking birth control pills?

All of it.

 

[Augustine]

Perhaps the men went AWOL after women got the laws changed unjustly in their favor in many states that the result of a failed added the insult of insolvency to the injury of divorce. Since women embraced fornication wholeheartedly thanks to the pill, the appeal of marriage to men was lowered even further, to the point that many hardly see the point (v. youtu.be/cO1ifNaNABY).

PS: it goes without saying that this is not what a Christian marriage is, but what a worldly one is.

 

[NonTimendum]

Perhaps the men went AWOL after women got the laws changed unjustly in their favor in many states that the result of a failed added the insult of insolvency to the injury of divorce. Since women embraced fornication wholeheartedly thanks to the pill, the appeal of marriage to men was lowered even further, to the point that many hardly see the point.

PS: it goes without saying that this is not what a Christian marriage is, but what a worldly one is.

What!? You mean men don’t want to marry a 35 year-old Strong Independent Womyn who has more “conquests” than Casinova and a bad attitude, only to live under the constant threat of divorce and financial ruin if he “emotionally abuses” her by asking for sex more than once a month?

Edit: I should also add the caveat that of course Not All Women Are Like That and I’m sure the single digit virginity rate past 21 among girls doesn’t include a single Catholic girl ever and every woman who reads my comments is literally the Virgin Mary herself.

 

[ATraveller]

In our most fertile years, men my age are more immature or just not ready to settle down and have a family. I’m sure there are some. Plenty of the couples I knew married in their early twenties didn’t last. This may be a mistake, but I’ll wait to have children in my early thirties when I complete with my career and independent enough that if my marriage fails I’m financially secure. I plan on dating older men anyway. If all else fails, there is God, aren’t we supposed to live our lives according to God’s planning? There are women I knew who finally got married in their 40s and conceived naturally. Anything is possible with God, right?

Young men are immature because we as a culture expect young men to be like that. This idea throughout the West that young men are ‘naturally’ immature, promiscuous and lack self-control needs to be kicked to the curb. If this image and script is celebrated and expected of young men then what does one really expect? The opposite? Of course not. There needs to be more effective ways in countering this destructive image and script being imposed on boys and young men. Let’s break this cycle.

Marrying in one’s early 20s isn’t as bad as some make it out to be. It’s usually something else other than age for married couples after the age of 22 if marriages fall apart.

Originally Posted by PelagiathePenit View Post
In our most fertile years, men my age are more immature or just not ready to settle down and have a family.

I don’t think John Wayne is a good example of how to be a man either.