Mistaken Miscarriage?

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My wife and I were blessed to learn that we were expecting our fourth child. We weren’t sure when her last cycle was, so we guessed. At our first ultrasound, we had a six-week-sized sack where a 13-week fetus had been expected. A week later, another ultrasound showed no growth and no fetal pole. My wife had also experienced bleeding and clot passage, so the doctor concluded a miscarriage. We return next week for another ultrasound to see if everything is passed. If not, she’ll have a D&C to prevent infection.

She’s been feeling pretty awful and is concerned because she has stopped bleeding now. She is thinking about calling the doctor to schedule the procedure early.

I’ve read (possibly anecdotal) evidence on the web about women who were diagnosed with miscarriages and then gave birth anyway. My wife’s aunt had trouble with bleeding through her pregnancy with her son. She was on bed rest, but today that baby is 21 years old.

I’m extremely afraid that there is a chance we might be accidentally aborting a living child, but the OB definitely held out no hope of that.

Is it possible that the ultrasounds were both misleading? How can I ask my wife to seek a second opinion when she’s already in physical and emotional agony over the diagnosed miscarriage? I don’t want to labor under false hope, but every child deserves a chance. Are we giving our child enough of a chance?
 
samsdad said:
My wife and I were blessed to learn that we were expecting our fourth child. We weren’t sure when her last cycle was, so we guessed. At our first ultrasound, we had a six-week-sized sack where a 13-week fetus had been expected. A week later, another ultrasound showed no growth and no fetal pole. My wife had also experienced bleeding and clot passage, so the doctor concluded a miscarriage. We return next week for another ultrasound to see if everything is passed. If not, she’ll have a D&C to prevent infection.

She’s been feeling pretty awful and is concerned because she has stopped bleeding now. She is thinking about calling the doctor to schedule the procedure early.

I’ve read (possibly anecdotal) evidence on the web about women who were diagnosed with miscarriages and then gave birth anyway. My wife’s aunt had trouble with bleeding through her pregnancy with her son. She was on bed rest, but today that baby is 21 years old.

I’m extremely afraid that there is a chance we might be accidentally aborting a living child, but the OB definitely held out no hope of that.

Is it possible that the ultrasounds were both misleading? How can I ask my wife to seek a second opinion when she’s already in physical and emotional agony over the diagnosed miscarriage? I don’t want to labor under false hope, but every child deserves a chance. Are we giving our child enough of a chance?
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It can happen but it would be very very rare. If you are truly concerned I suggest having one final ultrasound and blood work to check levels. You would not be doing anything wrong if you opt to go ahead with the D&C at this point without the additional testing though. I’ll pray for your family and I will pray for your wife’s health. Do not delay to the point that infection is likely. It can hinder future fertility if that occurs. I’ve had that trouble myself.
 
I believe that D&C’s are typically done under ultrasound guidance, for the safety of the mother. Perhaps your wife could schedule the procedure, but you could address your concerns with the doctor and request them to reevaluate the state of the (embryo?) at that time before beginning the procedure.

I had a missed miscarriage (baby dies, mother’s body doesn’t realize it) once before, and I chose to wait until I passed the baby naturally. However hormones, and grief, the unnerving feeling of being “pregnant but not” and knowing that I was carrying a dead baby inside me all weighed very heavily on me, and I eventually changed my mind and scheduled a D&C as well.

I’m very sorry for your loss. I could tell that you were excited to add to your family. But please keep in mind that your wife is in an even more tender place than you are right now and keep her in mind when making decisions.
 
samsdad said:
My wife and I were blessed to learn that we were expecting our fourth child. We weren’t sure when her last cycle was, so we guessed. At our first ultrasound, we had a six-week-sized sack where a 13-week fetus had been expected. A week later, another ultrasound showed no growth and no fetal pole. My wife had also experienced bleeding and clot passage, so the doctor concluded a miscarriage. We return next week for another ultrasound to see if everything is passed. If not, she’ll have a D&C to prevent infection.

She’s been feeling pretty awful and is concerned because she has stopped bleeding now. She is thinking about calling the doctor to schedule the procedure early.

I’ve read (possibly anecdotal) evidence on the web about women who were diagnosed with miscarriages and then gave birth anyway. My wife’s aunt had trouble with bleeding through her pregnancy with her son. She was on bed rest, but today that baby is 21 years old.

I’m extremely afraid that there is a chance we might be accidentally aborting a living child, but the OB definitely held out no hope of that.

Is it possible that the ultrasounds were both misleading? How can I ask my wife to seek a second opinion when she’s already in physical and emotional agony over the diagnosed miscarriage? I don’t want to labor under false hope, but every child deserves a chance. Are we giving our child enough of a chance?
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See what the results of the next ultrasound are. It’s unlikely that both ultrasounds would be misleading given the state of ultrasound technology these days. Hopefully, the third will give you the confirmation you need, regardless of the outcome. I’m so sorry your family is going through this.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss. Pretty please don’t make your wife seek out a second opinion. This is an agonizing time for you all; I pray you’ll get through it with lots of love and support.
 
Demand another ultrasound just before they do the procedure. My niece was told she needed a D&C and they did another ultrasound just before and found a heartbeat. (He is in second grade this year). My daughter was not so fortunate, but at least she knew 101% there was no hope, and was able to conceive my grandson a few months later. I am sorry for this time of trouble for you and your family; it’s in God’s hands now and He will provide whatever you need.
 
I’m sure your doctor is aware of possible and rare anomalies. I would listen to the pros on this one.
 
Get another ultrasound before the D&C. They probably will anyway.
 
Not sure what advice I can give but if she did miscarry she shouldn’t feel so bad about it. Had my great grandma not miscarried her first baby my grandma would have never been born and nor would I.
 
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