Mixed faith group

[MCGar]

Hi everyone!
I am usually a lurker but I have a question that I need help with.
A friend and I are interested in starting a group for our parish that involves casual get-togethers for Catholics married to non-Catholics in order to answer questions about Catholic practices and teachings.
It is not to take the place of RCIA or debate but to familiarize and educate.
I was wondering if anyone could help me find materials that dealt with type of group. Are there any parishes that have a similar group that I could pattern ours after?
We are at the beginning stages of coming up with a Mission Statement and seeking approval from the parish catechist and priest.

Thank You!

 

[floresco]

I don’t of any groups. You may get some ideas from this or the links within it: catholicdoors.com/misc/marriage/nccb.htm

 

[mamaslo]

I find these two sections to be contradictory, and it has caused me confusion…
“Beyond this, parents have the right and the responsibility to provide for the religious education of their children. This right is clearly taught by Vatican II: “Since the family is a society in its own original right, it has the right freely to live its own domestic religious life under the guidance of the parents. Parents, moreover, have the right to determine, in accordance with their own religious beliefs, the kind of religious education that their children are to receive.” (Declaration on religious Freedom, number 5). It is evident that in preparing for a mixed marriage, the couple will have to reach decisions and make specific choices in order to fulfill successfully the responsibility that is theirs toward their children in this respect. It is to be hoped for their own sake that in this matter, the couple may reach a common mind. If this issue is not resolved before marriage, the couple, as sad experience has shown, find a severe strain later in their marital life that can subject them to well-meaning but tension-building pressures from relatives on both sides. If this issue cannot be resolved, there is a serious question whether the couple should marry. In reaching a concrete decision concerning the baptism and religious education of children, both partners should remember that neither thereby abdicates the fundamental responsibility of parents to see that their children are instilled with deep and abiding religious values. In this the Catholic partner is seriously bound to act in accord with his faith which recognizes that, “This is the unique Church of Christ which in the Creed we avow as one, holy, catholic, and apostolic. After His resurrection our Savior handed her over to Peter to be shepherded (Jn. 21:17) ‘commissioning him and the other apostles to propagate and govern her’ (Cf. Mt. 28:18 ff). Her he erected for all ages as ‘the pillar and mainstay of the truth’ (1 Tim. 3:15). This Church, constituted and organized in the world as a society, subsists in the Catholic Church, which is governed by the successor of Peter and by the bishops in union with that successor, although many elements of sanctification and of truth can be found outside of her visible structure. These elements, however, as gifts properly belonging to the Church of Christ, possess an inner dynamism toward Catholic unity” (Constitution of the Church, number 8) This faith is the source of a serious obligation in conscience on the part of the Catholic, whose conscience in this regard must be respected.”
and
*" 9. The priest who submits the request for dispensation from the impediment to a mixed marriage shall certify that the declaration and promise have been made by the Catholic and that the non- Catholic has been informed of this requirement. This is done in the following or similar words:

     "The required promise and declaration have been made by the Catholic in my presence. The non-Catholic has been informed of this requirement so that it is certain that he (she) is aware of the promise and obligation on the part of the Catholic."

     The promise of the Catholic must be sincerely made, and is to be presumed to be sincerely made. If, however, the priest has reason to doubt the sincerity of the promise made by the Catholic, he may not recommend the request for the dispensation and should submit the matter to the local Ordinary."*

What if the couple decides together as per the first section I copied here, that the children should be raised in the non-catholic faith because it totally goes against the non-catholic’s conscience, then for the sake of unity in the family the Catholic person is relegated to that agreed upon unity…how can the 2nd part be expected?

I have this situation at home and I am seen as a bully in a way, because I got very protective of my kids when I came home to the Catholic church. So the kids are being raised, against their father’s conscience…which does not agree with the Catholic Church.

 

[floresco]

What if the couple decides together as per the first section I copied here, that the children should be raised in the non-catholic faith because it totally goes against the non-catholic’s conscience, then for the sake of unity in the family the Catholic person is relegated to that agreed upon unity…how can the 2nd part be expected?

I have this situation at home and I am seen as a bully in a way, because I got very protective of my kids when I came home to the Catholic church. So the kids are being raised, against their father’s conscience…which does not agree with the Catholic Church.

I am not seeing the conflict here. The first section does not allow for a Catholic to agree to raise children as non-Catholics. While it says the parents should reach an agreement, it says " In this the Catholic partner is seriously bound to act in accord with his faith which recognizes that, “This is the unique Church of Christ which in the Creed we avow as one, holy, catholic, and apostolic.” What the first quote seems to be saying is that if the non-Catholic cannot in good conscience agree to Catholic raising the children as Catholics, they should not marry. Why would it be right for the Catholic parent to violate his/her conscience?

I don’t think it applies to your situation. It is for people who are not yet married who have the option of not marrying if they can not reach an agreement. You are already married. You don’t have the option of saying this problem is not solvable and giving up. As a Catholic, you do have an obligation to raise your children Catholic whatever the other parent thinks. I suggest you talk with a priest about your situation. Also, ask St. Monica for her prayers. I’ll pray for you too, but I think St. Monica’s will do you more good.

 

[mamaslo]

Actually, I am in a legal marriage which isn’t the same. I may not marry him because of this very same thing…he has serious conscience issues as do I. We are in opposition.

 

[floresco]

Actually, I am in a legal marriage which isn’t the same. I may not marry him because of this very same thing…he has serious conscience issues as do I. We are in opposition.

Not getting married won’t solve the problem. You still have to deal with being parents and not agreeing on the religious upbringing of your children.

 

[mamaslo]

My point was that my being catholic goes against HIS conscience. The kids ARE catholic, and going to Catholic School. My dd chose confirmation as a Catholic…but while he brings them to church for me so I can participate in ministry, he stands with his arms crossed and gets angry every time he is there. He won’t pray with us at dinner…etc.