Mom and Sister falling away church after COVID

[claire98]

This is my first post here, and I am new to the platform so bear with me. Once COVID hit and we were to attend mass online, my mom and sister would sit on their phones throughout the mass, not paying attention. Now that we are able to attend (with masks) my mom and sister refuse to go. My sister (18) went as far as to say she barely agrees with the Catholic teachings. My mom will schedule plans for the family Sunday mornings leaving my dad, brother and I to work out church schedule around her schedule. She gets very angry if we question her. I love my mom and sister and I know how much stress everyone is under right now, but it is devastating for me to see them fall away. I need some advice on how others might handle this situation. I will say this did start with the allegations brought against many of the Catholic priests. I do not agree with what those priests did, but I do still want to continue as a catholic and going to mass as do my brother and dad.

Thanks to anyone who responds!

 

[AdamP88]

Well if I was your dad I would refuse to facilitate plans that mean you miss Sunday mass. It sounds like your mom ad sister were already iffy and just used Covid as an excuse to completely fall away.
Your Dad needs to step up here as a husband and father.
You can do your bit by backing him up and trying to encourage your mom and sister to return

 

[Daisy]

The Catholic religion is often an exercise of habit used by people to comfort themselves. Sometimes it becomes a social club, a way to fit in, or a status symbol.

But the kingdom of heaven is a pearl of great price. Someone who is worthy of possessing the kingdom must go and sell everything they have. The only way for you to grab your family’s attention is for you to value and live YOUR faith. Go and sell everything you have, in a sense. Live boldly, so boldly that you make them uncomfortable, you challenge them by your own actions and life. Inspire them! This is the only way they will realize the value of faith. Your words, your books are probably a cliche to them, at this point. The ‘Our Father’ prayer probably has the same 'ol boring rhyme. Bring it alive. Pray for the Holy Spirit to come alive and ignite your love, and their love, too.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I agree with Adam. Your dad is a regular church goer and if anybody is going to be able to influence your mom, he’s in the best position to do so.

I would suggest that you have a talk with him about your concerns. He might have even already discussed it with your mom in private. It may be that she’s upset about something that she hasn’t shared with all of you.

 

[1ke]

My mom will schedule plans for the family Sunday mornings leaving my dad, brother and I to work out church schedule around her schedule. She gets very angry if we question her. I love my mom and sister and I know how much stress everyone is under right now, but it is devastating for me to see them fall away. I need some advice on how others might handle this situation.

You and the rest of the family can start with discontinuing the “schedule around her” stuff. If she makes plans for Sunday morning, you ALL need to say “sorry, we’re going to mass” and then GO.

She gets very angry if we question her.

That’s for your father to handle, not you children.

 

[Viki63]

I will say this did start with the allegations brought against many of the Catholic priests.

I agree with 1ke’s comments.
But the abuses you are referring to happened nearly a generation ago. and we belong to the church not because the priests are holy, but for Jesus, and because we want to be holy.

 

[CoffeeCatholic]

Hello and welcome!

The first thing I answered in my head was “why do your Dad, brother and you work around HER plans to skip mass?” Let her do her plans but inform her that Sunday mornings, you three will be attending mass and afterwards, would be happy to join her in whatever plans she’s made.

The second thing was wondering why your Dad doesn’t speak up to her?

Third thought while reading your post was to remember - the Catholic faith is bigger than a few priests.

Fourth - I’ve always heard that doing something “three times” helps it become a habit. Sounds like Mom and Sister used Covid quarantines to get out of the habit of church - if they went three weeks in a row perhaps it would become a habit again. Or not. But please don’t let their behavior ruin it for your Dad and brother and you. Lead by example.