Mom told me to use birth control

[Madaglan]

Hope the title got your attention

Actually, it’s not exactly like that. Actually the problem is a lot deeper than that. For a number of years my mom has continued to drift away from the Catholic Church. I am 22-years-old and my dad, mom, sister and I used to all go to church together as a family. Well, my mom and dad fight a lot, and eventually my mom stopped going to church, my sister joined an e-free church, and only my dad and I are left Catholic. My mom has become very radical in her beliefs. She does not believe that “good people” die [the second death], even if they aren’t Christian, much less Catholic. She believes that women should have a right to have abortions, and she has been reading a lot of “self-help/how to improve your power in the world”-type books.

In any case, my dad remains Catholic, but he it is kinda weird. He doesn’t read the Bible, and I can’t talk with him about the faith, since he mostly only knows the exteriors of the faith, not why we believe what we believe. So, I have a lot of difficulty talking with him.

Presently I am not certain about my own Roman Catholic theological beliefs. However I do not embrace Protestantism. Presently I am a little more inclined to Orthodoxy than most Catholics. Yet, I do believe in what the Catholic Church rejects–namely birth control, abortion, paganism, etc.

My problem is that neither of my parents are really strong on these beliefs. Even though my dad is nominally Catholic, both are strongly influenced by the ills of modernism. My sister is being led astray by the fundies, and I feel very awkward where I am right now, especially since I hold to conservative Catholic values, whereas everyone else in the family are fairly lax and tend to disagree with my views on birth control, abortion, the death penalty (which I oppose), and drinking alcoholic beverages (which, when used to become intoxicated, I condemn).

Tonight my mom talked with me and I told her that I hope that the next pope is conservative. My mom said that she does not believe John Paul II is proactive enough, and that the next pope should change the Catholic Church–allow married priests, do away with the pope, be more P.C., allow contraception, view Islam and Judaism as just other equally acceptable salvific paths, etc. She then said that when I get married she hopes that I use birth control, since I can’t afford to have six kids.

If my mom keeps this up, I fear that she will go to hell. My sister is lost in Once Saved Always Saved theology, and I fear she will go to hell, too. My dad rarely goes to confession, and he blasphemes, gets drunk a lot, and yells at people, and altogether doesn’t seem to be interested in the Christian faith. And my cat, Merlyn, is Rastiafarian…grrrr :banghead:

Any advice?

 

[ppcpilot]

Pray…God will smak them upside the head and get them in line…that’s what He did to me! Have faith, sister!

 

[MonicaPA]

Wow, you have an interesting family situation going on right now…but then again, don’t we all at times?

In my limited scope of knowledge the best advice I have to offer is to be patient, pray often, & keep being a positive influence in your family members lives. I do sympathize with you, while my situation is a bit different we do have some similarities in common. My parents both went to confession this past Christmas, after having lapsed in their sacramental duties of reconcilitation for the past 15 years. It was a truly humbling and beautiful thing to witness as their daughter. Of course, God is solely responsible for bringing them back…but the Holy Spirit did give me the grace & gift of patience & persistence to help them toward their journey back home. Now if I can convince them that they need to be at Mass EVERY Sunday…baby steps & patience.:getholy:

Perhaps God has given you the precious gift of being able to evangelize your family & educate them about the beautiful truths of our Catholic faith.

There is a GREAT show on EWTN hosted by someone named Patrick Madrid called ‘Search & Rescue’ that focuses on exactly what you are dealing with right now. Here is a description of the show from the EWTN website:

**SEARCH AND RESCUE

**Catholic Apologist Patrick Madrid gives tips on how to bring non-Catholics into the Church and bring fallen-away Catholics back into the Church. He suggests prayers, Bible verses, and other resources that will help in all apologetical and evangelical endeavors. Evangelization should never be a Search and Destroy mission–it should be a Search and Rescue mission.

Don’t ever give up, this is also an opportunity to strenghten your faith as well. I will say a prayer for you & your family.

Blessings & Peace,
M

 

[Madaglan]

Thank you two for your advice. I really wish that I could bring my mom and sister back, if not into the Catholic Church, at least into a more orthodox mentality.

The biggest problem: They do not study their beliefs. In other words, they have left the Catholic Church, not because of anything they discovered in their study of sacred Scripture or of Church history, but simply because they feel that they don’t need to confess their sins to a priest, or that they don’t believe that bishops have a right to declare what is to be believed.

I try reasoning out to them the Catholic beliefs, but they simply don’t listen. My sister does, a little, I think; so she’s not totally lost. But my mom listens not.

 

[bear06]

Tonight my mom talked with me and I told her that I hope that the next pope is conservative. My mom said that she does not believe John Paul II is proactive enough, and that the next pope should change the Catholic Church–allow married priests, do away with the pope, be more P.C., allow contraception, view Islam and Judaism as just other equally acceptable salvific paths, etc. She then said that when I get married she hopes that I use birth control, since I can’t afford to have six kids.

If my mom keeps this up, I fear that she will go to hell. My sister is lost in Once Saved Always Saved theology, and I fear she will go to hell, too. My dad rarely goes to confession, and he blasphemes, gets drunk a lot, and yells at people, and altogether doesn’t seem to be interested in the Christian faith. And my cat, Merlyn, is Rastiafarian…grrrr :banghead:

Any advice?

Get rid of the cat!

But seriously, do you realize that many on this loop feel exactly the opposite about the Holy Father than your mother? They think he’s too liberal! I don’t have too much advice for you regarding your family but as for where you want to be, you might want to be where the head of the church is attacked on all sides. This, to me, is the obvious clue that this is the True Church.

As for your family…This goes without saying but pray, pray, pray. I’ve had much success with family conversions by saying the St. Andrew’s Novena/Christmas Novena which won’t start again until November 30th. The results have been nothing short of miraculous. The other thing is that we have to let the insults, pain, etc. roll off our backs like water off a duck. If you keep the lines of communcation open and don’t get into knock down, drag out fights with your family(that’s not to say that you can’t calmly and even repeatedly state your beliefs), they will see the peace that your faith gives you and they will be attracted to it.

Good luck!

 

[cove]

Sounds like mom is going through some kind of crisis. I believe she has taken a “left” turn on her faith journey (pardon the pun ). She has lost her faith, for some reason. I am sure this goes very deep. Dad does not seem to be much of a help, either and sister is just confused. Sister has lost her base or grounding. As a matter of fact, you whole family sounds very lost to me.

There is not much you can do about it except to continue to live your faith and be an example. Oh yes, of course, PRAY!!!

 

[KCT]

Madaglan:

My mom said that she does not believe John Paul II is proactive enough, and that the next pope should change the Catholic Church–allow married priests, do away with the pope, be more P.C., allow contraception, view Islam and Judaism as just other equally acceptable salvific paths, etc.

In other words, the next Pope should be Protestant.
—KCT

 

[Madaglan]

Originally Quoted by KCT:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madaglan
*My mom said that she does not believe John Paul II is proactive enough, and that the next pope should change the Catholic Church–allow married priests, do away with the pope, be more P.C., allow contraception, view Islam and Judaism as just other equally acceptable salvific paths, etc. *

In other words, the next Pope should be Protestant.
—KCT

That’s pretty much it. :whacky:

 

[Maccabees]

Madaglan:

Hope the title got your attention

Actually, it’s not exactly like that. Actually the problem is a lot deeper than that. For a number of years my mom has continued to drift away from the Catholic Church. I am 22-years-old and my dad, mom, sister and I used to all go to church together as a family. Well, my mom and dad fight a lot, and eventually my mom stopped going to church, my sister joined an e-free church, and only my dad and I are left Catholic. My mom has become very radical in her beliefs. She does not believe that “good people” die [the second death], even if they aren’t Christian, much less Catholic. She believes that women should have a right to have abortions, and she has been reading a lot of “self-help/how to improve your power in the world”-type books.

In any case, my dad remains Catholic, but he it is kinda weird. He doesn’t read the Bible, and I can’t talk with him about the faith, since he mostly only knows the exteriors of the faith, not why we believe what we believe. So, I have a lot of difficulty talking with him.

Presently I am not certain about my own Roman Catholic theological beliefs. However I do not embrace Protestantism. Presently I am a little more inclined to Orthodoxy than most Catholics. Yet, I do believe in what the Catholic Church rejects–namely birth control, abortion, paganism, etc.

My problem is that neither of my parents are really strong on these beliefs. Even though my dad is nominally Catholic, both are strongly influenced by the ills of modernism. My sister is being led astray by the fundies, and I feel very awkward where I am right now, especially since I hold to conservative Catholic values, whereas everyone else in the family are fairly lax and tend to disagree with my views on birth control, abortion, the death penalty (which I oppose), and drinking alcoholic beverages (which, when used to become intoxicated, I condemn).

Tonight my mom talked with me and I told her that I hope that the next pope is conservative. My mom said that she does not believe John Paul II is proactive enough, and that the next pope should change the Catholic Church–allow married priests, do away with the pope, be more P.C., allow contraception, view Islam and Judaism as just other equally acceptable salvific paths, etc. She then said that when I get married she hopes that I use birth control, since I can’t afford to have six kids.

If my mom keeps this up, I fear that she will go to hell. My sister is lost in Once Saved Always Saved theology, and I fear she will go to hell, too. My dad rarely goes to confession, and he blasphemes, gets drunk a lot, and yells at people, and altogether doesn’t seem to be interested in the Christian faith. And my cat, Merlyn, is Rastiafarian…grrrr :banghead:

Any advice?

Well your parents sound like they were cathechized curing the turbulent 60’ and 70’s. A lot of misinformation went out to young catholics at the time so cut them a little slack.
Your sister sounds infintely reachable you have the Bible and Jesus in common and if she keeps an open mind anything can happen.
THe church does have have NFP so don’t have to have 6 kids if finances dictate lesser children but in the end that is you and your husband’s business isn’t it?
You certainly sounc catholic to me. You say you are uncertain but you sound more catholic than 90 percent of the catholics I meet outside of church.
The Orthodox church is rather lax these days about contraception and the death penalty they really don’t teach it at most parishes.
So morally you sound Catholic to me.

 

[Church_Militant]

Ship de cat to Jamaica Mon…

Seriously though, I strongly urge you to undertake to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet at least once for each member of your family. Find a parish that has Eucharistic adoration and go tell Our Lord all about it and just unload on Him. Don’t be at all surprised if things really do begin to turn around after you do all this and then Do it all again to open up further graces for these people that you love so much. Your Rosary will also have great effect. Pray it.

Know also that I promise to remember you and your family in all my prayers. Please be prepared, because I do get answers and know that you are never praying alone.

Pax vobiscum,

BTW, I think His Holiness is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Don’t TALK about him and the bishops…PRAY FOR 'EM!

 

[puzzleannie]

read Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid and pray like mad. Right now while you are going through a period where you are not sure what your beliefs are, and even what religion you are, is not the best time to convict them of the truths of the faith. What you can hold fast to are your moral principles, politely and respectfully explaining why you disagree with your family members and why you plan to live based on your conscience. But only when they ask or initiate the discussion, you are wasting your time going on the offensive.

 

[StratusRose]

I wouldn’t worry about your parents and your sister going to hell. God knows their heart and what is going on in there. He is also a billion times more merciful than we are. Outward appearances can be deceiving, subconciously they may be crying out for direction and salvation from God. Just pray for them and be a good example of a Catholic woman. Sometimes leading by example is the best way to get a point across.

 

[MeaCulpa]

I’m sorry your family is falling away from the Church as has mine. But I have to say I have a real problem with people posting in detail the sins of their friends and family on a public board. One other Catholic forum I belonged to absolutely would not permit that …but we had to use our real names on that forum so there was no way to disguise ourselves and the risk of detraction if someone knew us or our family.

 

[jimmy]

Madaglan:

Hope the title got your attention

Actually, it’s not exactly like that. Actually the problem is a lot deeper than that. For a number of years my mom has continued to drift away from the Catholic Church. I am 22-years-old and my dad, mom, sister and I used to all go to church together as a family. Well, my mom and dad fight a lot, and eventually my mom stopped going to church, my sister joined an e-free church, and only my dad and I are left Catholic. My mom has become very radical in her beliefs. She does not believe that “good people” die [the second death], even if they aren’t Christian, much less Catholic. She believes that women should have a right to have abortions, and she has been reading a lot of “self-help/how to improve your power in the world”-type books.

In any case, my dad remains Catholic, but he it is kinda weird. He doesn’t read the Bible, and I can’t talk with him about the faith, since he mostly only knows the exteriors of the faith, not why we believe what we believe. So, I have a lot of difficulty talking with him.

Presently I am not certain about my own Roman Catholic theological beliefs. However I do not embrace Protestantism. Presently I am a little more inclined to Orthodoxy than most Catholics. Yet, I do believe in what the Catholic Church rejects–namely birth control, abortion, paganism, etc.

My problem is that neither of my parents are really strong on these beliefs. Even though my dad is nominally Catholic, both are strongly influenced by the ills of modernism. My sister is being led astray by the fundies, and I feel very awkward where I am right now, especially since I hold to conservative Catholic values, whereas everyone else in the family are fairly lax and tend to disagree with my views on birth control, abortion, the death penalty (which I oppose), and drinking alcoholic beverages (which, when used to become intoxicated, I condemn).

Tonight my mom talked with me and I told her that I hope that the next pope is conservative. My mom said that she does not believe John Paul II is proactive enough, and that the next pope should change the Catholic Church–allow married priests, do away with the pope, be more P.C., allow contraception, view Islam and Judaism as just other equally acceptable salvific paths, etc. She then said that when I get married she hopes that I use birth control, since I can’t afford to have six kids.

If my mom keeps this up, I fear that she will go to hell. My sister is lost in Once Saved Always Saved theology, and I fear she will go to hell, too. My dad rarely goes to confession, and he blasphemes, gets drunk a lot, and yells at people, and altogether doesn’t seem to be interested in the Christian faith. And my cat, Merlyn, is Rastiafarian…grrrr :banghead:

Any advice?

I would say that cat is in big trouble.