Money questions - convalidation and Mass offering

[KateLiana]

I posted a few weeks ago with a question about bringing my marriage into the church, and was given really helpful responses. As a result we met with our parish priest and he advised us the best course of action would be to have a convalidation ceremony the day after our planned civil wedding. We asked about costs and he replied that there was no cost, although an offering could be made if we wanted.

I was wondering what a suitable donation would be? $200? $300? Also, is this made to the church or to him? If it is to the church, should we give the priest an extra donation? He has been very kind and helpful but I don’t know if it would be, well, offensive. Any advice would be much appreciated.

(as a side question, I’ve also started going to Mass every week, and am not sure how much is appropriate to put into the weekly offering. Can anyone offer guidance with this? I am in my mid/late 20s and have a decent job, although we are saving for our first home. Anyone I’ve asked just says “as much as you can afford”, but I can’t really understand this as any and all spare money goes into saving for a deposit. I do want to give generously, but need pointing in the direction of a ballpark figure!)

Sorry if this post sounds quite mercenary - I’m just so new to all this and want to get it right.

 

[CoffeeHound]

I was wondering what a suitable donation would be? $200? $300? Also, is this made to the church or to him? If it is to the church, should we give the priest an extra donation? He has been very kind and helpful but I don’t know if it would be, well, offensive. Any advice would be much appreciated.

A donation to the church is made out to the church. A donation to the priest is made out to the priest.

If you’re using the sanctuary for your convalidation and it’s just the two of you, the priest, and a few witnesses, I would say $200 to the church is appropriate. If you’re going to have a bunch of people, use the organ, need someone from the wedding guild to coordinate, etc. then you’d probably donate more as you’re costing the church more.

If the priest spent a lot of time with you on pre-marital counseling, I’d say $200 is appropriate for him as well. Otherwise, I think $100 is fine.

Anyone I’ve asked just says “as much as you can afford”, but I can’t really understand this as any and all spare money goes into saving for a deposit. I do want to give generously, but need pointing in the direction of a ballpark figure!)

If you need a number, how about tithing, which is 10%? That doesn’t all have to go to your parish, though. You could do something like 5% to your parish, 1% to the diocese, 4% to charity, etc. Just shoot for 10% of your income to help others. But don’t go into debt or hardship to give - give what you can.

 

[KateLiana]

Thank you Coffee Hound - that helps a lot. Yes, it will just be us and our parents, without organist/flowers/fuss. I will aim for $200 for each of them in that case. Thanks also for the tithing suggestion.

 

[Anne1964]

When I had my marriage convalidated four years ago I donated $100 to the church. We only met with the priest once for about 1/2 hour and the convalidation ceremony lasted about 10 minutes with two witnesses. If I had it to do over again I would have given the priest a donation as well.

 

[nurseryworker]

Having never been married I can’t comment on the amount specifically for your convalidation.

I’m a revert so I dealt with the question of how much? when I first returned to the church. I aim for 10% total - ie parish + charities. If anything, I feel I am able to save more even with what I am giving to the church and to my favorite catholic charities. I don’t know how it works - it’s a mystery (yes, it’s God!) - but it does. I am a worrier by nature and I constantly ask God to help me trust in His Providence. God knows what our needs are - trust Him - and be a joyful giver!