Money to a stranger

[StJoseph8]

I ride the Metro and just as I was about to get off a woman approached me with some flyers and a small yellow folder. I’m not sure but the Flyers said that somebody was just diagnosed with breast cancer and was looking for donations of $1 $3 dollars $5 etc. I presumed she was talking about herself but I wasn’t entirely sure.I had a couple dollars in my wallet and a $20 bill that I was going to save for Christmas shopping. I decided to give her a couple dollars that I had in my pocket but kePt the 20. I felt bad but I wasn’t sure about the whole situation. Would you have given the $20?

 

[tiny_augustine]

Don’t worry, brother or sister. If you want to know what I would have done, I wouldn’t have given her any money, because helping the poor or causes requires proper discernment according to the sources of our Tradition through which the Holy Spirit guides us (Sacraments, Scripture, Liturgies, Creeds, Ecumenical Councils, Fathers, etc). This is a topic very much related to the thread, within the social justice and apologetics forums, entitled “Is it actually sinful not to help the needy?” Check out all of my posts and comments there. I believe they will help you.

God Bless

 

[AKDee]

I try to listen to the Spirit in such situations. Sometimes I am prompted to help greatly, sometimes I am prompted to help not at all (if I feel strongly they will just use it to buy drugs or alcohol, for example). I do try to listen to their story, and will offer to pray with them. A lot of times a prolonged conversation can help you discern whether to help monetarily or not.

 

[pianistclare]

I always give if I have the cash.
It’s not up to us to peer into another person’s soul.

 

[Crusaderbear]

Dollar or two, ok, if they have a legitimate ‘go fund me’ or something, then maybe some more through that means.

 

[AKDee]

I always give if I have the cash.
It’s not up to us to peer into another person’s soul.

In my case, I’m not judging them- I’m trying to determine if giving them money will cause more harm than good. If it’s obvious someone is a drug user or an alcoholic, I might be helping them kill themselves by handing them cash.

 

[psalm90]

A priest scolded me in the confessional because I confessed that I did not give enough money to a disheveled man who approached me. In this case, it was obvious that he was a fake, because he was carrying a shopping bag with what were undoubtedly empty cereal boxes, etc.

I did give some money, but the priest said I should only give to the nearest Catholic soup kitchen.

I have given money (up to $40) at a time, but the young lady (who had asked me for $3) went straight to the liquor store. And, the homeless guy sort of parks out on this one bench. I gave him the $40 and passed him some time later and he was smoking. One time I gave him $40 and he asked me if I had a “smoke.”

He seems capable of work, but throws his trash in the public street right in front of himself, about 35 feet from a public trash can.

With some reluctance and guilt, I have decided to give up on him and do what the priest said.

A month ago, I was approached by a well-dressed young man who wanted $2 to buy something at a 7-11. Another guy approached me in daylight and I don’t know how much he wanted. Along with my resolution to only give to the local rescue mission and salvation army, I am not opening my wallet in public to anybody, especially in the dark.

The man who I have repeatedly given $40 to, for some time (every two weeks or so) has refused help from the local rescue mission, a couple blocks away. You know what they say, beggars can’t be choosers.

I had a Salvation Army bell ringer get almost pushy with me for not putting money in his kettle (they make money out of the total that they collect). Seriously I had just given a hundred or more to the local SA office, and I didn’t have any guilt about passing him by. And, especially with him being hostile, I wasn’t going to approach him.

They’re no different than all the solicitations I get in the mail. I talked about that to a different priest in the confessional and he says that he, too, stands by the wastebasket tearing them up.

I wonder why these agencies think that we are more inclined to “give” between Thanksgiving and Christmas? This is one of the times of the year my bills are the highest.

 

[Catholic1954]

I ride the Metro and just as I was about to get off a woman approached me with some flyers and a small yellow folder. I’m not sure but the Flyers said that somebody was just diagnosed with breast cancer and was looking for donations of $1 $3 dollars $5 etc. I presumed she was talking about herself but I wasn’t entirely sure.I had a couple dollars in my wallet and a $20 bill that I was going to save for Christmas shopping. I decided to give her a couple dollars that I had in my pocket but kePt the 20. I felt bad but I wasn’t sure about the whole situation. Would you have given the $20?

Sounds like a scam to me; I would not have given her any money.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

Tis the season…to scam. Today when I was out a women was asking for money in the middle of a busy intersection with a cardboard sign saying she was homeless. She was getting lots of donations. Was she homeless? I don’t know. I do know that this city has all kinds of agencies and churches to aid the poor and homeless. I guess giving to those various groups are the best way to go. Another time a man was saying he “would work for food.” I offered to buy him food, but he wanted money. He didn’t get either one from me. It is the perpetual guilt trip laid upon the good hearted, esp. at Christmas time. Peace.

 

[mikekle]

I always give if I have the cash.
It’s not up to us to peer into another person’s soul.

I agree, we are taught to give, not to consider all the possibilities of what the money MAY be used for…that is not our place, that is just the enemy trying to justify not giving them anything.

Plus, the difference between a homeless person who will use the money for food or shelter and the addict trying to fool people into giving them money are more than likely to look identical, it would be impossible to make such an accurate assumption about that person so quickly

 

[Mary_Estelle]

I agree, we are taught to give, not to consider all the possibilities of what the money MAY be used for…that is not our place, that is just the enemy trying to justify not giving them anything.

Plus, the difference between a homeless person who will use the money for food or shelter and the addict trying to fool people into giving them money are more than likely to look identical, it would be impossible to make such an accurate assumption about that person so quickly

I think if a person is hungry that person would benefit with what I offer in good faith.

 

[pianistclare]

I agree, we are taught to give, not to consider all the possibilities of what the money MAY be used for…that is not our place, that is just the enemy trying to justify not giving them anything.

Plus, the difference between a homeless person who will use the money for food or shelter and the addict trying to fool people into giving them money are more than likely to look identical, it would be impossible to make such an accurate assumption about that person so quickly

Yes. Having worked with homeless and the shelters themselves for years, it’s really difficult for them, as they are not always located in such a way that they have ready access.
There are wait lists most of the time. In our metro area, in an effort to make the city look more welcoming (?) they closed the biggest shelter to men women and children, and made it for MEN only…so visiting businessmen wouldn’t have to see the homeless men on the streets. So the women and children had no place to go that was withing 30 miles.
It’s a desperate situation for these people. I don’t stop to decide if they are really needy They need $ and I have a bit of it. It’s not a big issue for me, but I well know that some people think all homeless people are mental drug addicts and drunks. Many are just jobless or have been abandoned by spouses.
As we enter the coldest time of the year, let’s pray for those who are really lost with few options. Maybe even consider working at a soup kitchen a couple of mornings and hear their stories.

 

[Rosebud77]

I agree, we are taught to give, not to consider all the possibilities of what the money MAY be used for…that is not our place, that is just the enemy trying to justify not giving them anything.

Plus, the difference between a homeless person who will use the money for food or shelter and the addict trying to fool people into giving them money are more than likely to look identical, it would be impossible to make such an accurate assumption about that person so quickly

My family work with homeless folk in Canada. Never every give money. Take the time to eg to buy food and take time to talk,

That is real giving. Taking time and not just carelessly throwing money at a situation, It is not loving to assist their downfall

If you give money and they use it for drugs then you have enabled them to harm and maybe kill themselves. So that is on your soul.

This is what all the experts say, those who daily and hourly strive to help the truly needy… Against well meaning folk who “help”

 

[Irishmom2]

If you give money and they use it for drugs then you have enabled them to harm and maybe kill themselves. So that is on your soul.

This is what all the experts say, those who daily and hourly strive to help the truly needy… Against well meaning folk who “help”

As Pianistclare already mentioned, it is not for us to judge what someone will do with any money we offer people. No one willingly gives money if they **know **it is going to be used for alcohol or drugs.

It is not on your soul. God knows your heart is in the right place and your giving comes out of love.

**Jesus is the expert **we should listen to, not the ones on earth that judge others and proclaim that their help is better than someone else’s.

 

[pianistclare]

Amen.
No one “carelessly throws money at a situation”.

Lots of people work with the needy, the homeless, and the mentally ill on the streets.
One size does not fit all.
Not all homeless are bums and drug addicts. And we;re seeing more women and children in this situation in the large cities. I’d happily give them whatever I can.

 

[JanetF]

I choose to give to various charities that are supported by the Catholic church, then I don’t have to worry about whether the money is being used in a nefarious way. Having said that I have given pocket change to homeless people before…I don’t empty my pockets every time I see someone pan handling, but I’m not opposed to giving. It’s not up to me to judge what they are doing with the cash…

 

[tiny_augustine]

Hey guys. There’s a lot of “we shouldn’t judge”/“who am I to judge” talk here. But when Jesus said, in Matthew 7, “judge not,” he did not mean what you are thinking. He meant “judge not according to earthly things, like, politics, honour, your own social standing, possessions, riches, or sinful desires.” But we should judge sin, for he says “that we should take the log out of our own eyes to then be able to take the specks out of our brother’s,” that we should not give what is holy to dogs, and even tells us to discern, that is, judge, false prophets according to the “fruits” they bear.

By the very fact that you want to help the needy, you are showing that you DON’T judge falsely according to social standing, possessions, or riches. You have broken through such earthliness, and this is awesome! But you still must judge sin. Otherwise, Jesus’ other words concerning the fruits of false prophets, and James’ entire Epistle commentary on the Sermon on the Mount itself, wherein he judges sin, would make no sense. And being concerned whether or not someone is using poverty as a crutch and potentially manipulating you, would be being concerned for the unity of society as a whole: fraud and manipulation are sins and are wrong.

As the Didache from (90 AD) says, “let your alms sweat in your hands.” Don’t just give without discernment. Discernment is so important: discernment of the people being considered “poor” here, as well as discernment according to the Holy Spirit through a knowledge of the sources of our Tradition, and, again, always with the theological end in mind.

Again, check out the thread, within the social justice and apologetics forums, entitled “Is it actually sinful not to help the needy?” I really feel that our Tradition, on this issue, is being appropriated by the world, and turned against Itself.

God Bless

 

[pianistclare]

Hey guys. There’s a lot of “we shouldn’t judge”/“who am I to judge” talk here. But when Jesus said, in Matthew 7, “judge not,” he did not mean what you are thinking. He meant “judge not according to earthly things, like, politics, honour, your own social standing, possessions, riches, or sinful desires.” But we should judge sin, for he says “that we should take the log out of our own eyes to then be able to take the specks out of our brother’s,” that we should not give what is holy to dogs, and even tells us to discern, that is, judge, false prophets according to the “fruits” they bear.

By the very fact that you want to help the needy, you are showing that you DON’T judge falsely according to social standing, possessions, or riches. You have broken through such earthliness, and this is awesome! But you still must judge sin. Otherwise, Jesus’ other words concerning the fruits of false prophets, and James’ entire Epistle commentary on the Sermon on the Mount itself, wherein he judges sin, would make no sense. And being concerned whether or not someone is using poverty as a crutch and potentially manipulating you, would be being concerned for the unity of society as a whole: fraud and manipulation are sins and are wrong.

As the Didache from (90 AD) says, “let your alms sweat in your hands.” Don’t just give without discernment. Discernment is so important: discernment of the people being considered “poor” here, as well as discernment according to the Holy Spirit through a knowledge of the sources of our Tradition, and, again, always with the theological end in mind.

Again, check out the thread, within the social justice and apologetics forums, entitled “Is it actually sinful not to help the needy?” I really feel that our Tradition, on this issue, is being appropriated by the world, and turned against Itself.

God Bless

No thanks. I have a Theology degree. Charity is a good thing

If I “discern” that a person is really needy, then it’s horrible for me to turn tail and ignore them just because I’m speculating that he’s a drug addict.

 

[tiny_augustine]

Hey pianistclare, thanks for the comment. I want you to know that I wasn’t directing my comment at you specifically, just at the other comments in general. I didn’t even pay attention to who said what, only what was being said.

Charity is a good thing. We all know that. But you’ve totally disregarded what I was saying, and even recontextualized me, at least partly. I wasn’t saying charity is a bad thing. I was saying that discernment goes hand in hand with charity. And no, even if we discern not to give them money, that doesn’t mean that we should shun them. We shouldn’t.

Can you show me a situation wherein discernment is a bad thing?

In regards to your comment (since most of us probably have in mind giving only a couple bucks here and there…even $20 is nothing), can you really be saying that not giving a couple of bucks is a horrible thing? Would it be a mortal sin or a venial sin? Can a couple of bucks really change a person’s life? If you wanted to change their life in a real way, why not invite them into your house? Would you, however, impose rules for their behaviour when they are living with you, and take care to protect the domestic society (your family) around you? What would happen if you didn’t see good fruits coming from the people you brought in? Would you still allow them to live at your house? Is it really charitable to hold them, as people, to a lower standard of morality, as they are living in your house?

If you wouldn’t hold them to a lower level of moral aptitude, and would impose rules on them if they were living with you while discerning their actions in order to protect your domestic society, shouldn’t you do the same in regards to merely giving a couple of bucks? After all, what’s the goal we’re aiming for here? Or is the choice of giving only a few bucks merely relative?

And if you wouldn’t actually want to take them in in the first place, how are you actually helping these people? Unless you’re willing to give big money? Do you feel comfortable just giving big money away to anyone without discernment?

Isn’t it possible that, with discernment, it wouldn’t be sinful at all to not give a couple of bucks away, but actually good?

I too have a theology decree, and am, pretty much, a biblical scholar. My final questions for you: can you find me, if possible, in Scripture (which is a liturgical and covenantal book) a single passage wherein charity is not a covenantal familial action, and, therefore, you are supposed to help those with whom you’re not in covenant (heads up, helping the “foreigner in the land” ends up being still covenantal…they were still “God-fearers” living within the land, through a minor covenant, after only first having agreed to honour the covenant to the best of their more limited religious ability)? Can you find me a single time therein where Jesus and the Apostles helped those who were not in covenant with them (whether the the Mosaic Covenant or the New) WITHOUT actually changing their situation AND WITHOUT having a theological end goal? Furthermore, can you relate and contrast the poverty of the 1st century Mediterranean world with the poverty of today? How are they different? Should we take note of those differences and discern accordingly?

God Bless