Monogamous Immorality?

[WhiteDove]

Is fornication, either hetero or homosexual, less sinful if monogamous? For instance, is an avowed, practicing homosexual better off in a commited relationship? How about hertero couples in a commited, non-marital relationship?

How should we, as Catholics, interact with family members and their significant others? What should we tell our children when our gay brother shows up at family functions with his ‘partner’? How about our beloved sister who has a common law type husband and kids with him?

How do these relationships, which are very public, compare with another person who is leading a promiscuous lifestyle with multiple partners, but not maybe not as visibly to others?

 

[meep]

What does your conscience tell you? My guess is that promiscuity is even worse than sinning with one person–it’s just further removed from the norm of marriage, which God intended for us. Fornication is a selfish sin, but it is my gut feeling that ‘serial relationships’ involving fornication may have a higher selfish component than a long term relationship–not across the board, but maybe on average.

Also, look at the effects (Heaven help us–I’m invoking sociology!)-- people who cohabit with multiple people prior to marriage have a higher divorce rate than people who marry the first person they cohabit with. (People who don’t cohabit at all prior to marriage have the lowest divorce rate, but that’s another topic.) I suspect there’s some link between a sinful effect and a sinful cause–the action which leads to the higher divorce rate is probably more disordered.

That’s all speculation, of course. Hopefully someone better educated than myself will give a definitive answer soon.

As for your kids… I would avoid trying to explain or legitimize to them something as unnatural as a homosexual couple. As for the “common-law” situation you mentioned, that’s a tough one: Growing up, I had an aunt who was living with someone who I was taught was my uncle (id est, my aunt’s husband). Wasn’t till I was, say, 12 that I learned the truth. But I’m not a parent, and it sounds like you are–your judgement and guidence is God’s gift to your children, so pray and trust God to lead you.

 

[Charles]

WhiteDove:

How should we, as Catholics, interact with family members and their significant others? What should we tell our children when our gay brother shows up at family functions with his ‘partner’? How about our beloved sister who has a common law type husband and kids with him?

I believe the way you interact with family members and your own children should be similar, though perhaps not identical.

You have an obligation to everyone to share the Gospel. That means that both your family members and your children should know what your faith teaches you about immorality.

Your obligation to your children, however, is greater. You are the first and foremost educator of your children. You should not ever let your attitude imply to them that you think immoral behavior is acceptable.

I imagine most families have issues like one or the other (or both!) that you describe. In my family everyone knows I am Catholic and how the Church and I feel about sexual immorality. That said, I do not cease to love family members who are not living the life my faith teaches us to live. I still love them all and am perfectly willing to continue to have interactions with them. It is my prayer that when the time comes I will be someone they still feel they can talk to about returning to the Church.

While I can have friendly relationships with people not living my faith, I still must regularly remind my children that the types of immorality you describe are not acceptable to either the Church or me. This often takes place in the car as we leave a family get-together! That way they do not assume that my attitude implies acceptance! Again, I am their first and foremost educator, and I can not allow my actions to confuse them about our faith.