Moral problem regarding my penance for my last confession

[Bhaoirluin]

I went to confession several weeks ago and confessed some sexual sins. The priest somehow thought it was necessary for me to see a counselor to help me not to commit these sins again and for them not to lead to more serious sexual sins, and he gave me this as my penance. I am going through a hard time financially and have no health insurance, and seeing a counselor would be a big expense for me. I asked another priest to dispense me from having to perform this penance, and the priest granted me the dispensation. Last Saturday, I went to confession again to the same priest, and confessed sexual sins such as masturbation and having thoughts of adultery. I don’t think the priest remembered me, but once again, after I mentioned the sexual sins he asked if I am getting help from a counselor. I think he was concerned that the thoughts of adultery might lead to actions if I did not get help, but I personally don’t believe there is any danger that the thoughts might lead to actions. Worried that he would give me the same penance as before, I told a lie and said that I was already seeking help from a counselor. He then said that he couldn’t give me this as my penance, since I was already getting this help. He then gave me a different penance, which I performed straight after my confession. I realize I should not have lied to the priest, and I will try never to lie again. In future I will not go again to this priest for confession. I am now unsure whether I have fulfilled my penance obligation, because I told a lie to the priest which caused him to give me a different, easier penance than the one he would have otherwise given me. I am also concerned that this could have invalidated my confession. What should I do about this now? What are the moral implications of this situation? Thanks for any help you can give me.

 

[teachccd]

I would confess the lie but I would not run back to do that. I would either change priests or let the priest know that you are financially unable to seek couseling at this time. This priest seems to think that you are going to take this to another level and he is being proactive about this. Fantasizing about committing adultery is treading on ice with hot skates. He is looking out for you and you should take heed. Never the less, you know yourself and your capabilities. So, confess the lie and any other sins and move on without worry. If you have the opportunity to confess to another priest then do so but remember that this priest may have seen something that you don’t see. God bless you…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

When you do confess next make sure that you mention that you lied in confession. There is a possibility that this may have rendered the sacrament invalid. Better to be safe. Just another two cents… teachcce

 

[ChurchSoldier]

If you work full time see if your company has an employee assistance program. They are free and confidential. Notes listing their phone number are usually around the mandatory postings of workman’s comp, minimum wage etc. If that is not available, check local government resources (Google your county offices). They have sliding scale counseling available. Also, you can Google Christian Counselors or Catholic Charities in your area, they too often have sliding scales and won’t turn anyone away for financial reasons.

 

[maryhope]

Sinful thoughts and actions are in this culture of death. Young and old only think about sex gratification. I ask myself why don’t speak with God? You know perfectly well those actions are a Sin, and Sin is Sin. If when you go to confession and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions, and be honest enough to ask God to deliver you from that, but with a really repentance, you will be deliver. My husband and I were married 41 years, we lived in chastity 10 years, and I toll my husband that food and sex were not first priority. If our first priority is to love God, in our lives, submit to Him body, soul, and spirit, the rest is nothing. I lost my husband two years and nine months when I was 60 years old. I consacrate myself to Jesus, to the Holy Trinity, and I live a chastity life. Our marriage was wonderful for 30 years, what more blessings could I ask from God. Now my life has changed, and I live for prayers and doing good deeds to my children and grandchildren, to other people in need because they are alone and sick. Don’t follow the culture of death, follow Life in God. Speak frankly with your spouse of what is happening to you, the needs that you want to have, but always remember that you and your spouse are married to God. Maybe you will think I am a cold fish, that is not the case, never was. But I set my priorities first, a clean house, my temple that is my body, that belongs to God not to me. Nothing belongs to us, not intelligence, material things, children husbands and wifes, family, everything belongs to God, nothing is ours, so put your thoughts to God first, and clean your temple, your body, not watching Hollywood way of life, but Christ life. May the Lord Bless you, I will be praying for you. Maryhope.

 

[Millie123]

Can someone correct me if I am wrong. But, I always thought that it was against canon law for a priest to give a penitent a penance that would force them to divulge their sins to other people. So, can a priest actually give a penance such as this? Where this person would be forced to discuss their sexual sins with someone else for their penance?

 

[Bookcat]

Can someone correct me if I am wrong. But, I always thought that it was against canon law for a priest to give a penitent a penance that would force them to divulge their sins to other people. So, can a priest actually give a penance such as this? Where this person would be forced to discuss their sexual sins with someone else for their penance?

Such was my line of thought…even if not “in canon law” such would seem to be not the kind of penance one could give…for the reason just mentioned. While well intended --Not so sure such is a possible penance.

One could pose the question to Jimmy Akin (I would think he would agree here) -I imagine he would have more to say …or to a canon lawyer.