Morality and Inheritance

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DENNYINMI

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Even Scripture speaks of Inheritance and this question speaks of it in relation to morality.
My question is this: I have 3 children, and it is my youngest who’s Father is still alive that stands to inherit quite an estate.

I am a working registered nurse who owns her own home, has modest investments for retirement with a modest bank account.

This youngest child comes to me with many needs. I have helped all of them in ways through the years with a happy heart, but it is the youngest that has received much and will stand to inherit much more than my other two. Ironically, she makes herself scarce unless she has a need, but that is not what I wish to discuss.

Must an inheritance be equal in allotment? Is there a moral implication of leaving a bulk of what remains to the two that will never acquire what the one will have through her Father?

My first husband is deceased, so I would like to leave what I have to my oldest two, with a gift of money to my grandchild, the daughter of the third child I have been speaking of.

Morally, must an inheritance be equal in allotment?
 
No. What you have is yours to do with it as you please

As one who had a parent be victimized by unscrupulous “advisors,” leading to much post-death litigation, what you may want to do - distasteful as it may be - is to communicate with all involved while you’re able to, and/or give assets away as you’d like to, while you’re still with us.
 
I don’t believe it needs to be equal. What you have is yours to share as you wish. Your youngest appears to be receiving part of a share already. And has something else coming.

You should do whatever you wish, and what you wish sounds perfectly reasonable and fair.
 
DENNYINMI said:
I would like to leave what I have to my oldest two, with a gift of money to my grandchild, the daughter of the third child I have been speaking of.
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In my opinion, your plan is morally acceptable because your intention is that all 3 children should be well provided for.

I urge you to communicate your wishes to everyone who is involved. @VonDerTann wrote of the need to avoid lawsuits, but mainly what I would hope to avoid is deep feelings of resentment and broken relationships. Inheritance can bring out the worst in families.

With good planning and communication, and lots of love, your children will hopefully come through it with family bonds as strong as before, if not better.
 
You need to contact an attorney for your jurisdiction who specializes in wills and probate. Some jurisdictions have laws concerning cutting someone who would normally be the heir out of the will.

Morally, assuming your kids are capable of being self-sufficient, you don’t owe them anything and are free to do what you want, as long as like I said you comply with the law. If your third child is not physically or mentally disabled and will also inherit money from her father, then she obviously won’t be left destitute by your decision to leave your estate to the other two.

One other option to consider is making your two older children beneficiaries on some sort of life insurance policy. In that way they get a direct payment when you pass and it should not have to go through probate.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
Some jurisdictions have laws concerning cutting someone who would normally be the heir out of the will.
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@Tis_Bearself, I have never heard of that. That’s very interesting. I wonder how it is determined who would normally be an heir. Would an adult family member that has not spoken to a parent in 10 years somehow have a right to be included?
 
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Irishmom2 said:
Would an adult family member that has not spoken to a parent in 10 years somehow have a right to be included?
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Best to ask an attorney familiar with the laws in that jurisdiction. The law and the courts don’t know who’s speaking to whom, etc. I imagine the law is a simple matter of who is a spouse or child.
 
You should speak with an attorney who specializes in estate planning in your state. They can be very complex in cases where children have a different parent.
 
Well, I was really asking what would be the reasoning behind that thinking, not whether it actually applied to anyone or any state in particular. Just curious as to the why. 😉
 
I’m not giving legal advice and absolutely will not do so.

I think some states have statutes that prevent a person from disinheriting a spouse - no more, no less.
 
Irishmom2 said:
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Tis_Bearself:
Some jurisdictions have laws concerning cutting someone who would normally be the heir out of the will.
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@Tis_Bearself, I have never heard of that. That’s very interesting. I wonder how it is determined who would normally be an heir. Would an adult family member that has not spoken to a parent in 10 years somehow have a right to be included?
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Not practicing law here, but speaking just in general terms, the parent could disinherit the child (again unless the state has some law to the contrary).

The parent will typically mention the child in the will and specifically mention that the child is being disinherited; otherwise the child could try to say that the parent just forgot. This is where we get the old story about the man leaving his son $1.00, just so the son couldn’t say the parent forgot him.
 
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This being a worldwide forum, I know that in the UK, a spouse, partner or child who feels they haven’t reasonably been provided for can often make a claim to an estate. I am sure there are other countries with similar laws.

Depending on jurisdiction, there may also be certain statements you have to make in a will in order to disinherit a child in such a way that he won’t be able to break the will. Louisiana in particular makes it harder to disinherit able-bodied adult children; I think you have to show “just cause”. (Its laws are based on French law which is different from all other states, which mostly are based on either English law, or, in the case of a few Western states, Spanish law.)

Needless to say, none of this constitutes legal advice and I am not a probate attorney. Speak to a qualified probate attorney in your own jurisdiction.

The reasoning behind such laws is to try to prevent unfairness and undue influence.
 
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Thanks all! Was just wondering. Not planning on cutting anyone out, just wondering how and why.
I have heard of the $1 inheritance, now I know the reasoning for that as well.
 
This is an area where prenups and trusts can become important because, otherwise, the surviving spouse can go against your wishes.
 
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I hope with all my hope that my mom either leaves her inheritance to my sister or my mom’s grandchildren, and not to me. I don’t want the legal issues or heartache from such.

Maybe consider asking your children what they hope or are looking forward to or need, and see if what they’re asking for is lined up with the help they’ve offered and what they’ve taken all along, as well as based on their needs.

One child might take a lot due to true need/struggles but also might be there to help out a lot more all along too…that’s more information than we have here.

In Scripture, you have the situation between Esau and Jacob to consider, just as an example. Also: Proverbs 13:22.
 
I have been given some wonderful food for thought, I thank you all for your responses!
 
You are free to dispose of your assets as you wish. And you should tell your children, no one should question what you do with what you worked for. When my mother was still alive, she made clear she wanted to leave her modest estate to my brother. I was fine with that and carried out her wishes even though there was no legal document.
 
Dan_Defender said:
You are free to dispose of your assets as you wish. And you should tell your children, no one should question what you do with what you worked for. When my mother was still alive, she made clear she wanted to leave her modest estate to my brother. I was fine with that and carried out her wishes even though there was no legal document.
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. . . which is great, except that not every family is that harmonious.

Much better to dot the i’s and cross the t’s, legally speaking, than to leave it to the family members to sort it out.
 
I agree of course. Apart from that, it is always good to let the children know while alive, that way it is on their conscience if later they don’t follow the parent’s wishes. Wills can be (and often are) contested.
 
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